1. People don't want to live in the area your company is located in for the wages your company is offering.
2. Your company only wants to hire top tier employees who can make substantially more at other companies.
3. Your company doesn't want to train people.
Sounds to me like your company should actually follow the standard BS management line of investing in employees instead of whining about a shortage of people. How about increasing your pay offerings and compensation since you clearly stated that they pay is meh. Another idea might be to work with the local schools and offer paid internships you know so that you might actually be able to nab some of those college grads who already have experience. Also you could actually try and compete with Yahoo and Google for those new grads.
Flame-thrower. Laser pointers just aren't there yet.
You're just not using the right kind of laser. Why bother with a laser that puts out a few miliwatts to a few watts when you can get one that operates in the multi KW range.