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Paul Tertuit says:
January 3, 2014 at 9:56 am
Why is it that every couple of years something catastrophic happens to the group that severely impacts their progress, and trivializes the hard work of many contributors? And, why does it *have* to be something that’s amplified by the group’s “quirky” management who are clearly out of their league?..
Why didn't you put your name to your comment here like you did on HaD?
I'm sorry to burst your bubble but you will never be able to fully control what teenagers do. You may be savvy enough to tutor them but good luck to you to get them to heed the advice.
It's not about trying to control behavior, that's a sure fire way to alienate your child. It's about preparing them for the realities of the ugly side of human behavior before they get caught deer-in-headlights style by it when it comes at them full force. As many have said on this topic, kids are cottonballed by their over protective parents, then loose their shit when they hit reality. It's about teaching coping skills as opposed to enforcing limits on social media access etc.
The problem here is that society and culture haven't moved as fast as technology did.
This is the point I was somewhat erratically driving towards. So to counter this lag, again, preparation is the key. You don't send a soldier into battle without teaching them what to expect from the enemy. Teaching kids how to identify the enemy will always be the problem, they trust too much, but that's just another challenge in parenthood I guess.
And I think that it's the same as things have always been except thanks to Facebook we know why the suicide happened. Before Facebook, these were mysteries to the parents and families - but there's suddenly a digital trail.
A valid point I had not even considered. Much the same as the perception of a more violent society due to increased media coverage. Interesting.
However your examples of bad times don't happen all day, every day, and don't follow you home. They are just people fucking up, as people tend to do. Granted a child is not as aware of the consequences of their actions as a drunk driver should be, but to imply they should be surprised when the shit they dropped on the victim is rubbed back in their faces is also a bit of a stretch.
"In December, the bullying grew so intense that Rebecca began cutting herself and was sent to a hospital by her mother to receive psychiatric care. Ultimately, her mother pulled her out of Crystal Lake Middle School. She home schooled her for a while and then enrolled her in a new school in August."
Religion has nothing to do with anything. You either act, or don't. Her parents did what they thought was best. Sadly it didn't pay off.
I am 30 years old. I remember a pre-WWW world (I deliberately say WWW to differentiate from chats, BBS etc, which was largely inaccessible to all but the greasiest of geeks). I have grown with the technology, and know its potential and pitfalls. My parents however have no idea of either. They got all my hand-me-down computers, they appreciated my efforts to educate them. Because I was around fro the pre WWW, analogies were easy. I knew how the postal system worked, I could easily analogise POP mail etc. But they do not know the full potential. They look up their recipes, history of [subject] info, and IMDB pages, harass and embarrass me on fakebook, but they never really matured with the technology, and never had to suffer the pitfalls. It was just suddenly there, and they shat bricks, because it was like nothing they had ever seen, and they didn't understand the dynamics. They adapted, but never understood.
I feel as my generation become the parents and out kids hit those preteen/teen years (maybe 10-15 years), the problems will go away, because we will be capable of not only being able to give good advice on troll evasion and shaming, but we will also be in a far better position to adequately monitor, and mentor, about what actually happens on the internet. We know what to look for, we know how to find it, and we know how to deal with it. Not all of my generation are savvy enough to do it, but a greater percentage of us are, as compared to the current crop of 40-50 year old who had this thrust on them by their kids demanding internet connections and fondletoys to use on them.
I feel for that girl, and her parents who were blindsided by and lost a child to a technology they had to scramble to understand. I feel for the parents of the aggressors for not knowing just how serious the shit their kids were doing. I hope and feel that my generation will be more capable than them.
That is to say, emergencies.
If I hear a horn in traffic I automatically go to DEFCON 3 and eagerly watch my mirrors for the shit to hit the fan (or my rear bumper). However needing to reminding someone that they are (allegedly) in control of a tonne of steel is not an emergency, its just a display of selfishness and lack of self control. Just put the damn phone down. How hard is it?