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Comment: Re:Medical doctor (Score 4, Funny) 720

by Beardo the Bearded (#46737779) Attached to: Ask Slashdot: Are You Apocalypse-Useful?

Indeed.

I'm an EE. If the grid goes down and I've got carte blanche, I could get some semblance of electricity up and running in under a week. (Which would enable you to plug in your standard appliances.) I could get solar USB chargers working in the same time frame.

First you get the electricity, then you get the... power... uh... then you get the wom... can I start over?

I know how to make beer.

Comment: Re:Let it die (Score 1) 507

Deafness used to run in my family.

My cousin is stone deaf. There's a genetic thing on the women's side where sometimes the flap covering the semicircular window in the ear just doesn't fall off. This causes the hairs in the cochlea to atrophy and die, and cause permanent uncurable deafness.

Modern testing and surgery has made this a thing of the past. A quick test as a newborn checks for this via echo and a minor outpatient surgery is all it takes.

Fuck deafness. Sneak up behind it with a marching band and stab it in the neck.

Comment: Re:rushed target selection? (Score 4, Funny) 42

by Beardo the Bearded (#46589297) Attached to: Gameover Malware Targets Job Seekers

Yeah, that's what I was thinking. Are you going to steal my no money? Go right ahead.

It's like... if someone breaks into my house looking for money and valuables, I'll hand out flashlights, turn on the lights, and we'll all look together.

My CC is maxed, my LOC is full, my mortgage is full, and my savings are nil. Nothing like getting laid off just after finishing up a divorce.

Comment: Re:"... as a means to reduce theft." (Score 1) 158

I can report the IMEI number to my provider if I really want to brick it. I have a hunch that a portion of these "mysterious black man stole mah phones!" are people that dropped them and just want to get a new one on their insurance.

I believe that they get stolen, sure, but at least 10% are mishaps.

Comment: Re:welcome to the big time (Score 1) 193

And that checkbox is useless because there are perfectly valid reasons why you want to install apps not from Google Play - Amazon App Store, and Humble Bundle, for instance. Legit app stores, but by using them you have to disable one of the most powerful protections Android has.

Don't forget AdBlock. You have to allow every library on earth to install AdBlock for Android.

I don't understand why we have to allow every ppa one at a time to install unverified code on Linux, but for Android the choice is "play in the sandbox" or "everyone on earth is allowed on your phone... er, their phone."

Comment: Re: Security 101 (Score 1) 332

It's the "I know what I'm doing" area. Once you get to about 100 jumps, 100 dives, then you think you're getting the hang of it and you know what the risks are and that you can mitigate them.

If you live through that 100-200 Dead Man's Area, then you'll realize that you have no idea what's going on and reign it in effectively.

Comment: Re:look out below ! (Score 1) 332

splat !

I suppose a lot of people deal with tragedy through humor, but I sure wouldn't want to be a surviving family member and read some of the comments posted so far.

I dive, and I've been in a diving accident that left me with some spinal cord damage. (It's minor and doesn't affect my mobility). There's a good chance that I could have died through my own stupidity. I still dive, and I'll continue to do so. Will I die in bed? Maybe. Will I die while diving? Maybe. Will I die? And how.

I would like anyone who wants to to make as much fun of me as possible. My family and friends would appreciate the humour, and I'd honestly be touched that someone took the time to say "well, bye".

My funeral, such as it is, includes instructions for everyone to tell the most embarrassing thing they know about me.

Comment: Re:iGoogle Disaster (Score 4, Insightful) 435

by Beardo the Bearded (#45285245) Attached to: The Case Against Gmail

Yes, it's totally bullshit that you would want to have a single page with all your email, news, weather, and everything else, launching from the start of your browser session. It's idiocy only pursued by the elderly to want to look at one page to get instantly up to date on everything.

I'm sorry that iGoogle was your singularity.

"If John Madden steps outside on February 2, looks down, and doesn't see his feet, we'll have 6 more weeks of Pro football." -- Chuck Newcombe

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