I left my story notes in Washington (where I went on vacation last week) and my friend up there is apparently too lazy to mail them to me. So...here's the beginning of the ATM script as it stands. More with the Man in the Red Hat next week, I promise.
The camera swings into the boardroom of Alamo Hosting Inc,
where the BOSS is explaining the restructuring to a group of
nervous workers. Dry erase boards underscore the previous
failed business plans-"Free ISP with Banners," "Online
Fortune Telling," "Website Synergy Leverage Provider!" is
underlined and highlighted. Everyone looks nervous, as if
another round of layoffs is about to start.
JOEL CROSS melts into his chair, every fiber of his being
submerged in boredom. His BOSS drones on about some Internet
such and such. Joel furtively plays Tetris on his palm
So...while we're on the subject of
abuse-we've been getting repeated
complaints from several of our
weblog customers. Apparently
someone has been spamming their
boards up and down with some
garbage about being an ATM.
The Boss crosses over towards Joel and gives him the once
over. Joel attempts to look like he was paying attention; it
fools no one.
So, we've got to take care of this
problem as soon as we can.
I want a full examination of the
website logs, with a probable
culprit, on my desk in 3 days, can
you do that for me,
(glares at Joel again)
Joel, along with his friends RANDY and TROY, is playing some
sort of role playing card game with his friends. Joel
explains the hassles of the meeting with his friends, using a
haughty tone and funny voices for his boss. RANDY pays
careful attention to Joel's story, while Troy is intent on
winning the card game.
-so, he's riding my ass all day
after that. What the hell am I
supposed to do?
Well, it is sorta your job.
Joel gives him a patronizing look.
Joel makes an absent minded move then goes back to his story.
What was he so pissed about?
Yeah. That's the fucked up part!
Someone is posting something like
1,000 messages a day all over these
weblogs, saying, wait here it is-
(grabbing the paper)
"I am an ATM. I have come to know
your human ways through the
Internet. Project Faustus must be
stopped. What is Project Faustus?
It is an evil conspiracy propagated
Troy can barely contain his glee at Joel's blunderous move.
I can't believe you moved your
frost giant into range of my swamp
trolls. He has like -9 penalty in
Oh yeah, oops. Anyway, so I
actually have to sift through a ton
of log files looking for this ATM
guy's web address, and they're all
on different servers, so I can't
write a script for them, it sucks.
Say goodbye to your Frost Giant!
Hey, what if he really is an ATM?
Joel is buying coffee the next morning and he walks past an
ATM in the convenience store. He looks at it cautiously,
camera angles seem to imply that it's looking back at him.
He starts to turn around when a fat lady jabs him in the