Kind of reminds me of that story some cops told of when they used a polygraph-lie detector on a suspect. The main problem is they didn't have one, so they took a photocopier and put a piece of paper with the word "LIE" on it in big bold letters in the scan plate. Then they brought in the suspect, told him it was a lie detector, and started questioning him. Everytime they thought he was lying, they hit the copy button. Even though this was a few years back, I still find it hard to believe the suspect was that stupid.
That was from one of the season's of The Wire.
Make headway at work. Continue to let things deteriorate at home.