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Comment Using the potty. (Score -1, Troll) 99


After he went poo-poo in the potty, how did he ensure his bummy-bum was clean if he was unable so see the toilet paper? Did he use a bidet in the dark? Were the ravioli poo-poos gross and, what we call, "two-flushers" in our house? How would he know when the potty has enough toilet paper in it?

Seriously, if you're going to do science, you have to include the poo!

Comment Phew! (Score 5, Funny) 109


I looked at Google last night and fell off my chair when I saw a differnet, yet oddly familiar, logo. Many dozens of other news outfits were reporting on it, but I waited until I saw the story on Slashdot to confirm it.

Slashdot is to logo confirmation as Netcraft is to BSD's death confirmation.

Comment Good job Wikipedia! (Score 5, Funny) 135


I was sitting here drinking a refreshing Coca Cola when I started reading this story on my Apple iPhone 6 Plus. The level of paid shills that infested Wikipedia were getting bothersome. It was at the point that I started using my Encyclopædia Britannica (2015 edition).

Sorry if I don't get to your replies sooner, I'm taking the Prius to Chipotle for a GMO-free lunch.

Comment Re:Holy Fuck (Score 1, Funny) 289

How long has the earth been around?
6,000 years.

How long have we had satellites watching or even just regular and reliable weather records.
Sheeple. We don't have satellites and never made it to the moon.

Now tell me what "we've never seen before" means. And no,this would not be " the evidence you are looking for".
It means that since God created Man and the Earth 6,000 years ago we have not seen this type of weather. It's a lie though, we had it all the time but never took the time to document it.

Seriously, you people dismiss the lack of hurricanes and just weather or even blame it on Global Warming and now you want to blame 3 at once on Global Warming.
Global warming is indeed a hoax perpetrated by Satan.

I have a theory. Everything that happens or doesn't happen in this world is because of my farts. Under the "science" of Climate change, it's irrefutable.
Satan is in your anus if that is true.

Comment Buy an island (Score 2, Funny) 806

I'd buy an island and make a nation out of it. I would live there with the family and my army of 1000 topless female slave-warriors. The island would have a private airstrip and a private jet, piloted by a topless female slave-warrior, that would whisk us around the globe. People would become jealous of my topless female slave-warriors because Grub Island would be the only place on the planet with them.

I would have a lottery with $1,000,000 ticket prices. The prize would be one week on my island with 10 topless female slave-warriors to be at the winner's beck and call. After the winner departed Grub Island, the other topless female slave-warriors would destroy the lottery winner's 10 because they would then be soiled and not worthy of me.

It is impossible to travel faster than light, and certainly not desirable, as one's hat keeps blowing off. -- Woody Allen

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