This is some fucked up shit
This is some fucked up shit
$$$$$exyGal first approached me by sending an e-mail to the Yahoo account I attached to this slashdot account. She sent me e-mail from another Yahoo account which looked like it was recently created for the purpose of our exchange. All the e-mail said was "If you would like to meet me, reply to this message, otherwise, do nothing, and I'll meet somebody else. If you don't believe this is me, go and check the comments in my journal. One last thing -- If you talk about this on slashdot, I will not meet you".
As soon as I got her message, I looked in her journal and found this message, and I started to sweat a little
After I sent her the "affirmative" e-mail, I waited to receive her further instructions. For all I knew, she was going to call me on the phone or something (that would have really freaked me out), but she didn't. I received another e-mail from her in about 20 minutes: "Great, I plan on talking to you via webcam. If you have access to a Macintosh with OS X, and a compatible webcam, please send me three possible times you would have available to meet. If one of your listed times is acceptable to me, I will post a message to slashdot with my response. If you cannot do this, please let me know so I can find somebody else".
I don't have OS X, or a webcam, so I thought I would have to end all this "fun". I got on AIM and asked a few friends of mine for help, and one of them had everything I needed. He had OS X, and a webcam. I called him up, and told him everything, and he laughed his fucking head off. He said he'd help me out, but I couldn't use his computer, because he was afraid $$$$$exyGal would hack into it and delete everything and basically blow up his computer
I e-mailed $$$$$exyGal back and told her everything was a go, and I sent her three times. At around midnight, I looked at all her recent comments, and I found this one. I'd supposedly meet this person at 1:00PM tomorrow. Damn!
My friend and I showed up at the computer lab at around 12:30, and we were able to pretty easily secure a machine for the next 2 hours. The macs in this sweet lab are all in tiny "cubicles" with glass doors. The tiny rooms are relatively soundproof (that's a big plus if you are editing movies, I guess). While we were waiting for $$$$$exyGal's e-mail, we set up the webcam and its software, and I basically checked my e-mail every 30 seconds.
At around 12:48, I got an e-mail from $$$$$exyGal with a huge attachment. The e-mail said to save that attachment into a temporary location, and click on it. When the software asked me for a really big number, I was supposed to type in the number listed here. I did all that, but it took us around 20 minutes! I figured the software was going to fucking delete the hard drive, and my buddy was kind of freaking out about installing this software, but we installed it anyways, all the while laughing our heads off. The "monitor" guy that watches the lab even knocked and asked if we needed some help
We got the software running, and typed in the "really big number", and then an empty big black box showed up on the screen. The black box said, and I quote, "Please hold, your call is being connected". There were no menu options at the top of the screen and nothing on the screen moved. The mouse still moved, but nothing else was happening. I figured we really fucked up this mac
After about 15 seconds, the black box was split in two, showing our little cubicle, and somewhere else. A female voice boomed out of the mac, and we immediately turned down the volume. She said she was glad this all worked out (but I still couldn't see her), and she asked to see me. I pointed the webcam at myself and my friend, and I asked if we could see her. She wanted to know who my friend was, and I told her. She said that was fine. She asked if I had any problems getting the software to run, and I said it took us a while to get it running, but it was easy (I still couldn't see her!). Then she said she'd let me see who she was, if I would have respect for her anonymity. I said I would, and I had to assure her several times, and my friend started laughing some more. I told him to shut up, and that's when she finally showed herself.
I promised I'd keep her anonymity, but I also said I'd describe what she looked like if she wouldn't mind. She was fine with that. So here goes... She was a skinny short-haired brunette with glasses. She was wearing a tight white tank top (spaghetti strapped...?), and she had small to medium sized boobs. She looked to be pretty short, but I never saw below her waist. She isn't a super-model or anything, but she is very very pretty. She was so pretty, that I started to feel intimidated just talking to her, and I was flubbing my words quite often. I'm sure when she reads this, she'll have quite an ego trip, but I don't care.
Something else I noticed, was a bookshelf sitting behind her. I'm not sure, but I think I saw the distinctive blue llama and camel Perl books in there. I didn't notice much else, besides the bookshelf, her, and her IBook (later).
She said that now she'd do her best to prove that she was $$$$$exyGal. I just sat there like an idiot and said "ok". That's when she moved her webcam into a position in which I could see her typing, and her IBook screen. Her screen was pretty blurry until she switched over to her web browser (it didn't look like IE or Mozilla?). That's when she posted this.
I watched her preview and submit her little shell script to slashdot, but I didn't know how to switch back to my web browser to see the comment (I was afraid that this webcam software would break). I didn't care, though, I told her I was completely convinced she was who she said she was.
Then she said she had to go, but I quickly asked her a few more questions. I asked her what this WebCam software was. She said a friend of hers works for a company that makes Macintosh software, and that friend (she didn't use any gender-specific pronouns) gave her this stripped down software to play with. She wouldn't give any more details, and the Mac program seemed to be clean of any company specific characteristics. She wanted me to delete it, and I did, but I still have it in my Yahoo mailbox. She basically didn't want her friend to get in trouble, so I'll probably delete that copy, too.
I also asked her why she was doing all this. She said "just for fun". She told me she's been reading slashdot for years under a different account, and she just decided to post funny links in a new account journal for the hell of it. The porn links were going to be secondary to the "silly" links, but she changed that once the journal got popular. She didn't decide to become a "fan whore" until she got over several hundred fans. At one point, she got bored of the whole thing, and she didn't post anything for about a month. But then she checked her fan list, and she said it kept growing even when she wasn't posting anything. That's when she decided to try to get more fans than anyone else.
Then she said she "had to go". I said ok, and thanks for letting me meet her. My friend said "bye, and you are hot" and laughed again. Then the big black box returned and disappeared. I deleted the program from the computer, and posted this comment to slashdot, and we grabbed our stuff and left.
So: I was wrong. $$$$$exyGal is really a woman (in her mid 20's I'd say). She is not ekrout, unless ekrout is a woman (does anyone have a picture of ekrout?). The only other possibility is that this is a very elaborate hoax: Maybe some dude hired this fake $$$$$exyGal standin? Or maybe some dude just has a female friend that is helping him out?
If $$$$$exyGal really isn't a woman, then that person has sure went to a lot of trouble to make me think otherwise. I'm convinced. If nothing else, this will be a story I can tell my grandkids someday
I remember the days of slashdot yesterday, when trolls were king, and slashbots were terrorized. But now, now things are changing. A new wave of slashbot idiocy is upon us. That slashbot is called $$$$$exyGal.
I know what you are thinking: "$$$$$exyGal is not a slashbot! She is a fucking troll!". But is she, really? Come now. Just look at her posts. She posts dozens of times per day, and yet she is moderated upwards over 75% of the time! That is not a troll, my friend, that is a FUCKING slashbot.
What do we do with slashbots? IRRITATE THE FUCK OUT OF THEM!:
- Reply to ALL of her posts with utter garbage.
- Moderate ALL of her posts as overrated. What? You don't have 25
- Misquote what she says, make wild accusations, etc. You know, do what kindergartners do to piss off each other. For example, if she says "For once and for all, I am not ekrout", then you quote her as saying "hi, I'm a manwhore, where can I find more genitals?"
- Add "$$$$$exyGal is a homosexual man AKA ekrout." to your signature (or something like it, be original, pansies). If you want, link that signature to here, or somewhere else with an anti-$$$$$exy message.
- Spread the word, and join forces.
- Collect evidence from $$$$$exyGal's posts that show he is a hypocrite. Post that information here so we can all use it.
- Watch $$$$$exyGal's posts very carefully to catch when he accidentally refers to himself as a man. I think I saw a post like that several months ago, but I can't find it now. If you find that post, or others like it, post the info here!
- Collect more evidence that shows he is ekrout. Yes, I know that he is a fan-whore just like ekrout, but we need more. Find posts that ekrout made and compare them with $$$$$exyGal posts. Find sentences that are very similar, and post the info here.
- Create an account name similar to $$$$$exyGal and karma whore it up, all the while mentioning your agenda against $$$$$exyGal.
- Pretend to be her fan, so you can keep track of her journal and posts.
This is just a small list of things we can do, my friends. More later. Now it's time to annoy, anger, and FUCK.
Special thanks to TrollBurger for giving me this idea. As you can see, he has already contributed.