You sir, are an asshole.
Most of the sitters looked as if they were mounting a toilet and getting ready to take a big dump. It must have been fragile the way they all were being so gentle with it, and not one of them leaned against the back rest... cute idea though.
Also, getting decent sleep is out of the question when you have a toddler and an infant. At least that condition should only last a few years (I hope!).
That is certainly true if you use the exact same encryption method twice in a row, and that method consists entirely of swapping all 1's for 0's and 0's for 1's.