Today's Dilbert is a shining example of humor at its best. It may take the average reader a little while to realize precisely why it only takes Dilbert half a second to setup and run the simulation, but it's time very well spent. The only gripe I have with it is the 50% number, but I realize the gag won't work without it, so I forgive him.

There's a similar joke in Sweden that goes like this:

- How many people work at the (insert name of whatever governmental body or company you (dis)like) office?
- About half of them.

1. What is your occupation?
    Self-employed consultant.

2. What color are you socks right now?
    Near-black blueish.

3. What are you listening to right now?
    The kids making noise downstairs.

    4. What was the last thing that you ate?
    The "latest", I hope, thing I ate was a bowl of yoghurt with muesli.

    5. Can you drive a stick shift?
    Duh. As I am not an American, disabled or a taxi driver, I have problems driving automatics - the apparent trick is to pretend that ones left leg is paralysed.

    6. If you were a crayon, what color would you be?
    A diffusion of black.

    7. Last person you spoke to on the phone?
    Mother-in-law, she called to talk with her daughter.

    8. Do you like the person who sent this to you?
    I was not sent it. I pirated a copy off teh intartubes. Arr.

    9. How old are you today?
    39 years old.

    10. Favorite drinks?
    Coca-Cola is it.

    11. What is your favorite sport to watch?
    Sex.

    12. Have you ever dyed your hair?
    No.

    13. Pets?
    50 fish called Wanda and a poodle.

    14. Favorite food?
    No one favorite.

    15. What was the last movie you watched?
    Cars.

    16. Favorite holiday?
    Hey, I saw something about holidays on TV once. Didn't really grok the concept.

    17. What do you do to vent anger?
    Kill people.

    18. What were your favorite toys as a kid?
    Mud and snow.

    19. What is your favorite: fall or spring?
    Yes.

    20. Hugs or kisses?
    Yes?

    21. Cherry or blueberry?
    Blueberry.

    22. Do you want your friends to send this back?
    No.

    23. Who is the most likely to respond?
    The infirm.

    24. Who is least likely to respond?
    The living.

    25. Living arrangements?
    House.

    26. When was the last time you cried?
    Cars.

    27. What is on the floor of your closet?
    Wood.

    28. Who is the friend you have had the longest that you're sending this to?
    I'm not sending it to anybody.

    29. What did you do last night?
    Sleep like the dead.

The rumour in Sweden is currently that The Pirate Bay was making a hell of a lot of money from their ads. According to "sources", one big ad at the top of the page cost 200kSEK per day (this translates to $27000USD plus change). Since the two guys running the site both still have day jobs, I call bullshit.

But, if you can make that kind of money on TPB, why haven't any media corps set up their own ad-sponsored trackers?

Lets assume Sony (I use them as an example simply because I like to kick their balls since the rootkit scandal) sets up a torrent tracker, has their own seeders placed locally at ISPs (thanks to Robert X for this one) with guaranteed non-corrupted files, a nice search function, a referral service, forum community with participation by artists, correct metadata, no DRM, no viruses, no RIAA lawsuits, playlist-generator, competitions with backstage passes as prizes, a webshop for buying CDs, t-shirts, posters, concert tickets, desktop pictures, jewelcase inlay kits (co-sponsored by a printer manufacturer and CDR-importer) - the possibilities are endless. The traffic numbers would go through the roof, they'd put iTunes out of business in a heartbeat, they'd get loads of useful listening information and data to mine and the running costs would be minimal since the customers would do most of the heavy lifting in distribution and marketing.

It's basically free money for the record companies, less load on ISP backbone links and free music for listeners. Added bonuses would be a more direct communications route artist - consumer, but I'd guess that the record execs would be slightly less enthusiastic about that aspect.

Next in line to use the portal are the MPAA and both national and local TV and radio stations and networks. Anyone that would benefit from using a "free" system of distribution in the interest of cutting costs in a major way by giving up their shaky monopoly revenues in exchange for a steady stream of "normal" levels of cash would want in on this.

So, who's first to register www.themediabay.com ?

And Sony, I'm GIVING you this idea. Run with it or not, as you like. Want me to sign something to that effect? Send it on, I'll sign - provided that you actually do it. But know that if you don't, we'll know that you're not in it for the money, you're in it for the control of the market and the supra-normal monopoly profits you've had in the past. Know that those days are over and this is a new ballgame.
Wanna play? Play. But don't hog the ball.

This is not a drill.

Late last night CET, www.piratpartiet.se went live. The goal is to create a political one-issue party centered around the abolishment of copyright as we know it along with most IP laws in Sweden by getting into the parliament in this year's elections. Secondary, but equally important goals are to strengthen personal integrity by rejecting the EU "eavesdropping" directive and expand the "postal secret act" to include all forms of communication, regardless of carrier technology.

The name quite literally means The Pirate Party. 1500 signatures are required to register a political party in Sweden and at last count, we had 1916 (unverified) and counting. In less than a day.

The website is all in bork-de-bork and there are no current plans to translate it into understandlish, sorry. Dagens Industri (daily business mag) had a blurb on it's front page just now. Aftonbladet (one of the two big tabloids) just called. And all we did in the way of marketing was to drop the URL in a DC hub last night...

We live in very interesting times.

I just watched the Darwinia gameplay video off Steam and got a whole bunch of flashbacks: Mind Walker, Glider Rider and... Carrier Command.

Now, a good while back, I ranted a bit about wanting a unified gaming client, running a multi-role FPS in a persistent world. That world could work a lot like Carrier Command. Imagine, if you will, Carrier Command: Source.

Heh, I'm starting to sound like X. Cringely. Anyway, I want my future and I want it now, dammit!

I'll diverge from the trend of naming influential albums and go for the throat: Best Songs, Evar:

And yeah, I'm a rocker at heart. I never went for the studded denim and leather look, but it was a close call.

As you'll see I'm going alphabetically through my MP3 collection and there's gonna be some Swedish bands/artists. Deal.

ABBA - Chiquitita, Fernando, Gimme Gimme, I have a Dream, Knowing me Knowing you, Lay all your love on me, SOS, Super Trooper, The name of the Game, Winner takes it all, Take a chance on me.
ABC - The look of Love
AC/DC - Hells Bells, You shook me all night long, Rock and roll ain't noise pollution, Dirty deeds done dirt cheap, Hell or high water, Shake your foundations, For those about to rock, T.N.T., Highway to Hell, Touch too much, Thunder struck, D.T., Ride On, Who made who.
Accept - Balls to the Wall, Metal Heart and Fast as a Shark, which is probably the best Judas Priest song they never recorded. :-)
Adolphson & Falk - Blinkar Blå, Mer Jul, Metrosynth, Ljuset på min väg, 1-0-0-1-0.
Aerosmith - I don't want to miss a thing, Walk this way, Livin' on the Edge
A-Ha - Take on me
Ainbusk Singers - Älska mig
Alabama - Roll on
Alan Jackson - Summertime Blues
Alan Parsons Project - Eye in the Sky
Alannah Myles - Black Velvet
Alcatrazz - Desert Diamond, Lighter Shade of Green
Alice Cooper - He's Back, Poison, Thrill my Gorilla
All Seeing I - Walk like a Panther
Allman Brothers Band - Ramblin' Man, Waisting Time no More
Alphaville - Big in Japan, Forever Young, Sounds like a Melody
Ami Stewart - Knock on Wood
Anderson, Bruford, Wakewan, Howe - Birthright, Brother of Mine
The Animals - House of the Rising Sun, We gotta get out of this place
Animotion - Room to move
Anita Ward - Ring my bell
Anne Linnet - Tusind stykker
Annie Lennox - No more I love yous
Aretha Franklin - I will survive, R.E.S.P.E.C.T.
Army of Lovers - Obsession
Art Company - Susanna
Art Garfunkel - Bright Eyes
Art of Noise - Paranoimia
Ashford & Simpson - Solid
Asia - Heat of the Moment
The Assembly - Never Never
Attack - Ooa hela natten

Bachman Turner Overdrive - You ain't seen nothing yet, Taking care of business
Bananarama - Venus
Bangles - Eternal Flame, Walk like an Egyptian
SSgt Barry Sadler - Badge of Courage
Barry White - Can't get enough of your love babe, You're my first my last my everything
Basic Connection - Habla me Luna
Beach Boys - Good vibrations, Kokomo, Rock 'n' Roll to the rescue, Surfin USA
Beatles - Back in the USSR, I saw her standing there, With a little help from my friends, Rock and roll music, Can't buy me love, Hey Jude, Here comes the sun, While my guitar gently weeps, Ticket to ride, Get back, When I'm sixty-four, Give peace a chance, Imagine.
Beautiful South - Don't marry her, Dream a little dream of me
Belinda Carlisle - Heaven is a place on earth, Circle in the sand, Leave a light on for me
Ben E King - Stand by me
Berlin - Take my breath away
Bette Midler - The Rose, Favorite waste of time
Bill Haley & the Comets - See you later alligator, Shake rattle and roll
Bill Mumy - Ballad of William Robinson, The great domain
Billy Idol - Cradle of Love, Shock to the system, White wedding
Billy Joel - River of Dreams, Uptown girl, We didn't start the fire
Billy Ocean - Get out of my dreams and into my car, When the going gets tough, There'll be sad songs
Bing Crosby - White Christmas, Peace on earth little drummer boy (with David Bowie)
Björn Skifs - Hooked on a Feeling, Vild och Vacker, Michelangelo, Det blir alltid värre framåt natten
Black Sabbath - Iron Man, Am I going insane, Paranoid, Sabbath Bloody Sabbath, Snowblind
Blondie - Heart of Glass, Maria, The tide is high
Blues Brothers - Ghost riders in the sky, Rawhide, Sweet home Chicago
Blur - Song2, Tender
Bob Dylan - Blowing in the wind, The times they are a-changin',
Bob Marley - Buffalo Soldier, I shot the Sheriff, No woman no cry
Bob Seger - Old time rock and roll, Turn the page
Bobby Fuller Four - I fought the law (and the law won)
Bon Jovi - Always, Blaze of Glory, Bad Medicine, Livin' on a Prayer, Runaway, Wanted dead or alive, You give love a bad name
Bolland - You're in the Army now
Boney M - Ma Baker, Rasputin, Rivers of Babylon, Daddy Cool
Bonnie Tyler - Total Eclipse, It's a heartache
Boston - More than a feeling
Boys Brigade - Melody
Brian Ferry - Let's stick together
Brian Setzer - Summertime Blues
Bruce Dickinson - Tears of the Dragon
Bruce Hornsby - King of wishful thinking, The way it is, Mandolin Rain
Bruce Springsteen - Born in the USA, Bobby Jean, Cover me, Dancing in the Dark, Darlington County, Downbound Train, Glory Days, Im on Fire, No Surrender, Thunder Road, The River, Atlantic City, Brilliant Disguise, Darkness on the Edge of Town, This is Your Land, I wish I were Blind, Fire, Johnny 99, Reason to Believe, Nebraska, Crush on you, Drive all Night, Fade Away, The Ghost of Tom Joad, Youngstown, Point Blank, Tunnel of Love, Walk like a man, Pink Cadillac, Cadillac Ranch, Tougher than the Rest.
Bryan Adams - 18 til' I die, Back to you, Can't stop this thing we started, Cuts like a knife, Everything I do (I'll do for you), Have you ever really loved a woman, Heaven, Run to me, Straight from the heart, Summer of '69, This time
Bucks Fizz - Making your mind up
Buggles - Video killed the radio star
Busta Rhymes - Fire it up
Buster Poindexter - Hit the road Jack
Byrds - Turn turn turn

C&C Music Factory - Gonna make you sweat
CCS - Sixteen Tons
C.W. McCall - Convoy
The Calling - Whereever you will go
Cardigans - Erase Rewind, My favorite game
Carl Perkins - Birth of Rock 'n' Roll, Memphis Tennessee
Carmina Burana - O Fortuna
Carola - Främling, Gloria, Säg mig var du står, Thunder & Lighting, Tommy tycker om mig
The Cars - Heartbeat City, You might think, Drive, Magic
Cat Stevens - Moon Shadow, Morning has Broken
Cecilia Vennersten - The vackraste
Celine Dion - If you asked me to, It's all coming back to me now, My heart will go on, That's the way it is
Chantal Kreviazuk - Leaving on a Jet Plane
Charlie Rich - The most beautiful girl
Charly Lownoise & Mental Theo - Next 2 me
Cheap Trick - Up the creek, I want you to want me
Cher - If I could turn back time, Believe, Strong enough, Love and understanding
Chicago - Look away, What kind of man would I be, Along comes a woman, Hard habit to break, Stay the night, You're the inspiration, We can stop the hurtin', Hard to say I'm sorry
Chris de Burgh - A spaceman came travelling, High on emotion, Lady in red, Connemara Coast
Chris Isaac - Wicked Game
Chris Rea - Auberge, I can hear your heartbeat, Road to Hell, Dricing home for Christmas, Josephine, Looking for the summer
Christopher Cross - Run like the wind
Chuck Berry - No particular place to go, Johnny B. Goode, My ding-a-ling, Roll over Beethoven
Clannad - Closer to your heart, Newgrange, Theme from Harry's Game
Cliff Richard - Saviour's Day
Cock Robin - Just around the corner
The Connells - 74-75
The Commodores - Nightshift
Coolio - Gangsta's Paradise
Corona - Rhythm of the Night
The Corrs - What can I do, The right time, Breathless,
Creedence Clearwater Revival - Lookin out my back door, Have you ever seen the rain, Bad moon rising, Down on the corner, Fortunate son, Long as I can see the light, Proud Mary, Run through the jungle, The midnight special, Up around the bend, Who'll stop the rain
Culture Beat - Mr Vain
Cyndie Lauper - All through the night, I drove all night, Time after time, True colours

Daft Punk - Around the World
Dag Vag - Popitopp
Dalbello - Cardinal Sin
Dan Hartman - I can dream about you
Dance 2 Trance - Power of American Natives
Danny Wilson - You remain an Angel
Dario G - Sunchyme
Daryl Braithwaite - One Summer
Dave Stewart - Heart of Stone
David Bowie - Let's Dance, This is not America
David Lee Roth - California Girls (mostly for the video)
David Linley - Werewolves of London, Mercury Blues
De lyckliga kompisarna - Hockeyfrilla
Dean Martin - Amore, Let it snow
Deep Purple - Knocking on your back door, Perfect Stranger
Def Leppard - Rock of Ages, Pour some Sugar on me, Love bites, Animal, Rocket, Hysteria
Depeche Mode - Blasphemous Rumours, Master and Servant, People are People, Personal Jesus, Just can't get enough
Derek and the Dominoes - Layla
Diana Ross and the Sumpremes - Reflections
Dinah Washington - Mad about the boy
DIO - Holy Diver, Rainbow in the Dark, Naked in the Rain, Rock 'n' Roll Children, Sacred Heart, Egypt (the chains are on), The Last in Line
Dire Straits - Brothers in Arms, Industrial Disease, Money for Nothing, Telegraph Road, Private Investigations, Calling Elvis, Heavy Fuel, Walk of Life, Local Hero
Dolly Parton - Jolene, 9 to 5, Islands in the Stream
Don Henley - The boys of summer
Doobie Brothers - Long train runnin'
The Doors - Break on through, Light my fire
Down Low - Johnny B
Dr Hook - On the cover of the Rolling Stone, A little bit more, Only sixteen, Sylvias Mother, The ballad of Lucy Jordan, When you're in love with a beautiful woman
Dream Academy - Life in a Northern Town
The Drifters - Under the Boardwalk, Save the last dance for me
Duran Duran - A view to a kill, The Reflex
Dusty Springfield - Son of a preacher man

Eagles - Hotel California, Take it easy
Eartha Kitt - Santa Baby
Echo and the Bunnymen - People are strange
Eddie Cochran - C'mon everybody
Eddy Grant - Gimme hope Joanna, I don't wanna dance
Edelweiss - Starship Edelweiss
Edison Lighthouse - Love grows
Edwyn Colling - A girl like you
Efva Attling - Två av oss
Eleanor Bodel - One way ticket
Elton John - Believe, Can you feel the love tonight, Candle in the Wind, Circle of Life, I'm still standing, Made in England, Nikita, I guess that's why they call it the blues, Sorry seems to be the hardest word, Sad songs (say so much)
Elvis Presley - All shook up, Can't help falling in love, In the ghetto, It's now or never, Suspicious minds, You were always on my mind, A little less conversation, Love me tender, Santa Claus is back in town
Emilia - Big big world
Emmylou Harris - Save the last dance for me
Enigma - Return to Innocence, Sadeness, Principles of Lust, Cross of Changes
Enya - Anywhere is, Orinoco Flow, The Celts
Era - Ameno
Erasure - Take a chance on me
Eric Andersen - Girls of Denmark
Eric Clapton - Cocaine, Knocking on heaven's door, My father's eyes, Tears in heaven, Wonderful tonight
Europe - Dreamer, The final countdown, Open your heart, Carrie, Rock the night
Eurythmics - Love is a stranger, Miracle of love, Missionary man, Sweet dreams, There must be an angel, Thorn in my side, When tomorrow comes, Sexcrime (1984), Doubleplusgood, Here comes the rain again

FR David - Words
The Fabulous Thunderbirds - Powerful Stuff
Faith Hill - The Kiss
Faithless - God is a DJ
Falco - Rock me Amadeus
Far Corporation - Stairway to Heaven (as fas as I'm concerned, this is the canonical version)
Fine Young Cannibals - I've been thinking about you, She drives me Crazy
The Firm - Radioactive
Fjeld - Mother of Devotion
Flash and the Pan - Midnight Man
Fleetwood Mac - Everywhere, Don't stop, As long as you follow
Flying Pickets - Only you
Foreigner - I wanna know what love is
Frank Sinatra - My way, Strangers in the Night
Frank Zappa - Don't eat the yellow snow, Bobby Brown
Frankie goes to Hollywood - Relax, Two Tribes
Freddie Mercury - Barcelona, Living on my own
Freiheit - Keeping the dream alive
Frida - I know there's something going on

Gary Moore - Empty Rooms, Johnny Boy, Over the hills and far away, Out in the fields, Blood of emeralds, Still got the blues
Gasolin - Stakkels Jim, This is my life
Gene Pitney - Something's gotten hold of my heart
Genesis - In too deep, Invisible Touch, Land of confusion, Mama, The Brazilian, Throwing it all away, Congo, Jesus he knows me
George Michael - Praying for time
George Thorogood and the Destroyers - Bad to the bone
Georgia Satellites - Hippy hippy shake
Gina G - Ooh Aah (just a little bit)
Giorgio Moroder - Radar Radio
Gladys Knight - License to kill
Glen Campbell - Highwayman, Universal Soldier
Glenn Frey - Part of me part of you, The heat is on
Gloria Estefan - Reach
Golden Earring - Radar Love
Guns 'n' Roses - Paradise City
Gyllene Tider - Leva livet, The hjärta som brinner, Ljudet av ett annat hjärta, När vi två blir en, Sommartider

Haddaway - What is love
Hall & Oates - Maneater
Hanne Boel - Don't know much about love
Harold Faltermeyer - Axel F, Top Gun anthem
Heart - All I wanna do is make love to you
Helix - Christine, Dream on, Ride the Rocket, Gimme gimme good lovin', Rock you
Herbie - Right type of mood
Hooters - 500 miles, Satellite
Hot Butter - Popcorn
Hot Chokolate - You sexy thing
Hothouse Flowers - Don't go
Housemartins - Caravan of Love
Huey Lewis and the News - A new drug, Heart of rock 'n' roll, Stuck with you, The power of love, Hip to be square
Human League - Don't you want me

Iggy Pop - The Passenger
INXS - Need you tonight, Suicide blonde
Irene Cara - Fame, Flashdance - what a feeling
Iron Maiden - Number of the Beast, Rime of the Ancient Mariner, Hallowed be Thy Name, Stranger in a Strange Land, Caught Soomewhere in Time, Run to the Hills, The loneliness of the long distance runner, Running Free, The evil that men do, Wasted Years, 22 Acacia Avenue, Revelations, Infinite Dreams, Where Eagles Dare, Aces High, 2 Minutes to Midnight, Powerslave (Powerslave was the first album I ever bought)

J Geils Band - Centerfold
James Brown - I feel good
Jan Hammer - Crockett's Theme, Miami Vice Theme
Janis Joplin - Mercedes Benz
Janne Önnerud - Tommy
Jean Michel Jarre - Oxygene
Jefferson Airplane - Don't you want somebody to love
Jennifer Paige - Crush
Jennifer Rush - The Power of Love
Jerry Lee Lewis - Great Balls of Fire
Jerry Williams - Did I tell you, Who's gonna follow you home, Vintersaga, Working Class Hero
Jesse VJ and Replay - Zero to Zero
Jessica Folcker - Tell me what you want
Jimi Hendrix - Hey Joe, All along the watchtower
Jimmy Ruffin - What becomes of the broken hearted
Joan Jett - Crimson and Clover, I love rock 'n' roll
Joe Cocker - Unchain my heart, Up where we belong, With a little help from my friends, You are so beautiful
John Denver - Annie's Song, Country Roads, Rocky Mountain High
John Fogerty - Premonition, Walking in a hurricane, A hundred and ten in the shade, Hot rod heart
John Cougar Mellencamp - Jack and Diane, R.O.C.K. in the U.S.A.
John Parr - St Elmo's Fire (Man in motion)
John Paul Young - Love is in the air
John Waite - Missing You
Johnny Cash - A boy named Sue, Folsom prison blues, I walk the line
Johnny Logan - What's another year
Joshua Kadison - Jessie
Judas Priest - Love Bites, Turbo, Sentinel, United, Metal Gods, Night Comes Down, Blood Red Skies, The Green Manalishi (with the two-pronged crown), Heading out to the Highway, Rock Hard Ride Free, Evening Star, Hell Bent for Leather, Night Comes Down, You've Got Another Thing Comin', Diamonds and Rust, Screaming for Vengeance, Fever and the inimitable Out in the Cold. Tom Allom is the God of Sound.
Julee Cruise - Falling
June Tabor - A cold wind
Justin Hayward - Silverbird

Kamahl - The Elephant Song
Kansas - Dust in the wind
Kate Bush - Running up that hill
Katrina and the Waves - Love shine a light, Mexico, (I've got a) Crush on you, I can dream about it, Keep running to me, Rock myself to sleep, Rock 'n' Roll Girl, That's the way, To have and to hold, Pet the Tiger, Que te quiero, Red wine & whiskey, Walking on Sunshine
Kenneth & the Knutters - Fri fart, Vi vill ha mera
Kenny Loggins - Danger Zone, Footloose
Kenny Rogers - Coward of the County, The Gambler
Kim Carnes - Bette Davis eyes
Kim Wilde - Cambodia, Kids in America, Hanging on
King Kobra - Attention, Dream on, Never say die (Iron Eagle)
The Kingston Trio - Tom Dooley
Kiss - God gave rock and roll to you, I was made for loving you, I love it loud, I still love you, Lick it up
KLF - Justified and Ancient, Last train to Trancentral
Kraftwerk - It's more fun to compute, The model, We are the robots
Kylie Minogue - Can't get you out of my head, Confide in me

Laura Branigan - Gloria, Self Control
Leila K - Electric
Lili & Susie - Oh Mama
Limahl - Neverending Story
Lionel Richie - Hello, Say you say me
Lipps Inc - Funky Town
Loreena McKennit - Highwayman
Lou Reed - New Sensations, Walk on the Wild side
Louie Armstrong - Wonderful World
Louise Tucker - Midnight Blue
Lynyrd Skynyrd - Sweet Home Alabama

M - Pop Muzik
Madness - One step beyond, Our house
Madonna - La isla bonita, Like a prayer, Papa don't preach, This used to be my playground, Who's that girl, The power of goodbye, To have and not to hold, Skin
Maggie Reilly - Moonlight Shadow
Mamas & Papas - Dream a little dream of me, California Dreamin'
Manfred Mann's Earth Band - Blinded by the light
Manic Street Preachers - If you tolerate this
Mark Cohn - Walking in Memphis
Maria McKee - Show me Heaven
Marianne Faithful - Ballad of Lucy Jordan, Broken English
Marianne Flynner - Hennes Ögon
Marie Fredriksson - Den sjunde vågen, Ännu oftar kärlek, Sparvöga, Äntligen
Martika - Toy soldiers
Marvin Gaye - I heard it through the grapevine
Masquerade - Guardian Angel
Maxine Nightingale - Right back where we started from
Meatloaf - Modern Girl, Dead ringer for love, Bat out of hell, You took the words right out of my mouth
Melba Moore - This is it
Men at work - Down under
Men Without Hats - Safety Dance
Mentor Williams - Drift Away
Meredith Brooks - What would happen
Metallica - Nothing else matters
Michael Cretu - Samurai
Michael Jackson - Thriller
Michael Narada Walken - Gimme gimme gimme
Mikael Wiehe - Titanic, Flickan och Kråkan, Vem kan man lita på
Michelle Shocked - Anchorage
Midge Ure - Cold cold heart
Midnight Oil - Beds are burning,
Mikael Rickfors - Vingar, Som stormen river öppet hav
Mike Oldfield - Tubular Bells, Five mines out, In dulci Jubilo, Shadow on the wall, Family man
Milk & Honey - Hallelujah
Millas Miraker - Rytmen av ett regn
Modern Talking - Brother Louie, Cheri cheri lady, You're my heart you're my soul
Modo - Ein zwei polizei
Moloko - Indigo
Monica Törnell - Vintersaga
Monkees - I'm a believer
Moody Blues - Nights in white satin
Moon Martin - Bad case of loving you, Bad news, Bootleg woman, Five days of fever, Rolene, Rollin' in my Rolls
Motörhead - Ace of Spades, Deaf Forever, Killed by death, Orgasmatron, Louie Louie, Built for speed
Mr Mister - Broken Wings, Kyrie
Mr President - Coco Jamboo
Mungo Jerry - In the summertime
Murray Head - One night in Bangkok
Mötley Crüe - Girls girls girls, Home sweet home, Shout at the devil, Red hot

Naked Eyes - Always something there to remind me
Natalie Imbruglia - Torn
Nazareth - Games, Veteran's Song, Dream on, Love hurts, Morgentau, Love leads to madness, Piece of my heart, Ruby Tuesday, Where are you now, Heart's grown cold, Moonlight eyes
Neal Diamond - Song sung blue, Sweet Caroline
Neil Sedaka - Breaking up is hard to do, Take good care of my baby
Neil Young - Rockin' in the free world, Heart of gold
Nelly Furtado - Forca
Nena - 99 luftballons
Neneh Cherry - Buffalo stance, 7 seconds
New Order - Blue monday
New Radicals - Someday we'll know
New World - Sister Jane
Nick Berry - Heartbeat
Nick Cave - Where the wild roses grow
Nicole - Ein bisschen frieden
Nik Kershaw - The riddle, I won't let the sun go down on me
Niklas Strömstedt - Förlorad igen, Om, Oslagbara, Sista morgonen
No Mercy - Where do you go

Ofra Haza - Im nin alu
Oingo Boingo - Weird Science
Olivia Newton-John - Physical
One More Time - Highland
Opus - Live is life
OMD - Sailing on the seven seas
Otis Redding - Sitting on the dock of the bay
Ozzy Osbourne - Bark at the moon, Close my eyes forever, Waiting for darkness, Mama I'm coming home, Shot in the dark, The ultimate sin, Killer of Giants

Papa Bear - Cherish
Papa Dee - Island Rock
Paris France - Transit
Paso Doble - Computerliebe
Pat Benatar - Don't walk away, Love is a battlefield, One love, Too long a soldier
Pat Boone - Speedy Gonzales, You've got another thing comin'
Patrick Hernandez - Born to be alive
Patti Smith - Because the night
Patty Smith and Scandal - The Warrior
Paul Anka - Diana
Paul Hardcastle - 19
Paul McCartney - Hope of deliverance, This one, Ebony and Ivory, We all stand together, Say say say
Paul Revere and the Raiders - Indian Reservation
Paul Simon - 50 ways to leave your lover, Graceland, You can call me Al, The boy in the bubble, Still carzy after all these years
Paul Young - Whereever I lay my hat, Everytime you go away, Senza una donna, Now I know what made Otis blue
Paula Abdul - Straight up, Rush rush
Percu Sledge - Spanish Harlem, When a man loves a woman
Perry Como - God rest ye merry gentlemen
Pet Shop Boys - Always on my mind, Absolutely fabulous, Go West, It's a sin, West end girls, Suburbia
Peter Cetera - Glory of love
Peter Gabriel - Biko, Big Time, Games without frontiers, Red rain, Shock the monkey, Sledgehammer, Solsbury Hill, Steam, Don't give up (with Kate Bush)
Peter Schilling - Major Tom (I'm Coming Home)
Peter, Paul and Mary - Puff the Magic Dragon
Phil Collins - Agains all odds, Another day in Paradise, Both sides of the story, Don't lose my number, Easy lover, I can't dance, I wish it would rain down, In the air tonight, No son of mine, sussudio, True Colors, you can't hurry love
Pink Floyd - Yet Another Movie, Tigers Broke Free, Comfortably Numb, The Wall...
The Pinks - Helena och jag
The Platters - The Great Pretender, Smoke gets in your eyes
Playground International - And then the tears came
The Pointer Sisters - I'm so excited, Neutron Dance, Jump for my love, Fire
The Police - Every breath you take
The Pretenders - I'll stand by you
Prince - Little red Corvette, Purple Rain, Sign of the Times, When doves cry
Proclaimers - 500 Miles
Procol Harum - A whiter shade of pale
Puff Daddy & Jimmy Page - Come with me

Queen - Another one bites the dust, I want it all, I want to break free, It's a kind of magic, Radio ga ga, We are the champions, Princes of the universe, The show must go on, Under pressure, Who wants to live forever
Quiet Riot - Girls rock your boys

R Kelly - Gotham City
Rainbow - Since you been gone, Snowman, Street of Dreams
Ram Jam - Black Betty
The Ramones - Pet Sematary
Ray Parker Jr - Ghostbusters
Red Gum - I was only 19
Rednex - Cotton Eye Joe
REM - End of the World, Losing my Religion, Man on the Moon, Everybody Hurts
REO Speedwagon - Can't fight this feeling, Keep on loving you, One lonely night
Richard Marx - Hazard, Right here waiting
The Righteous Brothers - You've lost that lovin' feeling
Robbie Williams - Angels
Robert Miles - Children, One
Robert Palmer - Addicted to Love, Simply Irresistible
Rockwell - Somebody's watching me
Rod Stewart - Sailing, Faith of the heart, Wish that I know what I know now
Roger Waters - The pros and cons of hitch-hiking
Roger Whittaker - 1944, The impossible dream, Canada is
Rolling Stones - Jumping Jack Flash, Like a Rolling Stone, Paint it Black, Satisfaction, Sympathy for the Devil, Rock and a hard place
The Romatics - Talking in your sleep
Ronan Keating - When you say nothing at all
Roxette - Dressed for success, Listen to your heart, Queen of rain, The look, Joyride, How do you do, It must have been love, I wish I could fly now, The center of the heart, Dangerous
Roxy Music - Avalon
Roy Orbison - Pretty Woman, You got it
Ry Cooder - All shook up
Ryan Paris - Dolce Vita

Sacred Spirit - Yeha Noha
Sade - Smooth Operator, The Sweetest Taboo
Samantha Fox - Touch me
Sammy Hagar - I can't drive 55
Sandra - Maria Magdalena, In the heat of the night, Everlasting love
Sarah Brightman - Who wants to live forever, Time to say goodbye
Sash! - La Primavera, Ecuador, Encore un Fois, Stay, Mysterious Times (with Tina Cousins)
Saxon - Princess of the Night, Northern Lady, Broken Heroes, Sailing to America, 747 (Strangers in the Night), Crusader, Dallas 1pm, Ride like the Wind, Do it all for You, Rocking Again, Battle Cry, I can't wait anymore, We are strong, Rock the nations
Scatman John - Scatman
Scooter - Fasterharderscooter
Scorpions - Always somewhere, Holiday, Send me an angel, Rock you like a hurricane, Wind of change, Still loving you, Crossfire, No one like you
Scotch - Delirio mind, Disco band, Loving is easy, Primitive man
Scott McKenzie - San Fransisco
Seal - Crazy
Secret Service - Oh Susie, Flash in the night
Sha-Boom - R.O.C.K.
The Shadows - Apache
Shaggy - Oh Carolina
Shakespear's Sister - Stay
Shakin' Stevens - Oh Julie
Shakira - Whenever whereever
Shamen - Love Sex Intelligence
Shania Twain - That don't impress me much
Shebang - Romeo
Sheila Chandra - All you want is more, Ever so lonely
Sheryl Crow - Everyday is a winding road, Strong enough
Shirelles - Will you love me tomorrow
Simon & Garfunkel - Sound of Silence, El Condor Pasa (if I could), Bridge over troubled water, Scarborough Fair, Cecilia, Mrs Robinson
Simple Minds - She's a river
Sinead O'Connoe - Nothing compares to U
Sisters of Mercy - Temple of Love
Slade - My oh my, Radio wall of sound, run run away
Smokie - Living next door to Alice, Oh Carol
Snap - Welcome to tomorrow
Sniff 'n' Tears - Driver's Seat
Soft Cell - Tainted Love
Sophie B Hawkins - Right beside you, Damn I wish I was your lover
Spandau Ballet - True
Special AKA - Free Nelson Mandela
Spencer Davis Group - Gimme some lovin'
Spice Girls - Viva forever
Staffan Hellstrand - Lilla fågel blå
Stakka Bo - Here we go
Stan Ridgeway - Camouflage
Starship - Nothing's gonna stop us now, We built this city, Wild again
Status Quo - In the army now, Old time rock and roll, Rockin all over the world, The wanderer, What you're proposing, Whatever you want, Rollin' home
Stealin' Horses - Ballad of Pralltown cafe, Don't walk away, Tangled
Steeler's Wheel - Stuck in the middle with you
Steppenwolf - Born to be wild
Steve Earle - Copperhead Road
Steve Miller Band - Rock 'n me, The Joker, Abracadabra
Steve Winwood - Back in the high life again, Higher love
Stevie Wonder - Isn't she lovely, Signed sealed delivered, We can work it out, Yesterme yesteryou yesterday
Sting - If I ever lose my faith, Russians, Englishman in New York, Fields of Gold
Sugababes - Hole in the head
Supertramp - Take the long way home, Dreamer
Survivor - Burning heart, Eye of the tiger
Susanne Alfvengren - Lugn efter stormen, Som stormen river öppet hav
Suzanne Vega - Luka, Blood makes noise, Tom's diner
The Sweet - Ballroom Blitz
Sweetbox - Everything gonna be alright
Svenne Rubins - Folköl och dunka-dunka, En gammal Amazon

Taco - Puttin' on the Ritz
Talking Heads - Road to nowhere, Once in a lifetime, And she was
Tanita Tikaram - Twist in my Sobriety
Tarkan - Kiss Kiss (Simarik)
Tasmin Archer - Sleeping satellite
Tears for Fears - Sowing the seeds of love, Everybody wants to rule the world
Ted Gärdestad - Sol vind och vatten,
Temptations - My gilr, Papa was a rolling stone
Ten Sharp - You
Terry Jacks - Seasons in the sun
Texas - I don't want a lover, Summer son
Therapy - Diane
Thin Lizzy - The boys are back in town
Tiffany - I think we're alone now
Tim Finn - Fraction too much friction
Timbuk3 - The future's so bright I gotta wear shades
Tina Cousins - Pray
Tina Turner - Simply the best, Private dancer, Golden eye, We don't need another hero
Titiyo - Come along
The Tokens - Lions sleep tonight
Tom Jones - Sex bomb, It's not unusual, Burning down the house (with the Cardigans)
Tom Petty - Last dance with Mary Jane, Learning to fly, A face in the crowd, Free fallin', I won't back down, Runnin' down a dream, Love is a long road, Into the great wide open
Tom Waits - In the neighborhood
Tomas Ledin - En del av mitt hjärta, Sommaren är kort, Genom ett regning Europe, Blå blå känslor, I natt är jag din
Tommy Nilsson - Dina färger var blå
Tone Norum - Allt som jag känner
Tony McAlpine - Space Truckin'
Tori Amos - Cornflake Girl
Toto - Africa, Hold the line, I will remember, I won't hold you back, Mushanga, Roseanna, Stop loving you
Toto Coelo - I eat cannibals, Dracula's tango
Toy Dolls - I'm gonna be (500 miles), Devil went down to Scunthorpe
T'Pau - China in your hand
Tracy Chapman - Fast car
Tracey Ullman - Sunglasses, Breakaway
Trance Dance - You're gonna get it
The Trashmen - Surfin' Bird
Traveling Wilburys - End of the line
Triad - Tänd ett ljus
Twisted Sistes - I wanna rock, We're not gonna take it

U2 - A sort of homecoming, Mysterious ways, With or without you, One, Bad, I still haven't found what I'm looking for, Where the steeets have no name, Pride (in the name of love), Sweetest thing
U96 - Das Boot
UB40 - Can't help falling in love, Red red wine
Ulf Lundell - Öppna Landskap
Ultravox - Dancing with tears in my eyes

Vacuum - I breathe
Van Halen - Dreams, Jump, Panama, Right now, Why can't this be love, Love walks in, When it's love
Vanessa Williams - Colors of the wind, Save the best for last
Vangelis - 1492 (Conquest of paradise), Heaven and Hell, I'll find my way home, State of Independence, Chariots of Fire, Mutiny on the Bounty (closing titles)
The Verve - Bitter sweet symphony
Visage - Fade to grey

Wall of Voodoo - Far side of crazy, Ring of fire
Wamdue Project - King of my castle
Warren G - Prince Igor (with Sissel Kyrkjeböö)
Warren Zevon - Mr Bad Example, Werewolves of London
Weeping Willows - Blue and Alone
Wham - Caseless whisper
Whigfield - Saturday night
White Lion - When the children cry
Whitesnake - Here I go again, Fool for your loving, Love ain't no stranger, Slow an' easy, Still of t the night
Whitney Houston - I will always love you, One moment in time, Step by step
Wilmer X - Vem får nu se alla tårar, Teknikens under
Wings - Live and let die

X Models - Två av oss

Yazoo - Don't go, Nobody's diary, Only you
Yello - Oh Yeah, The Race, I love you
Yes - Owner of a lonely heart
Young - Love is in the air

Zager & Evans - In the year 2525
ZZ Top - Gimme all your lovin', I need you tonight, Legs, Rough Boy, Sharp dressed man, Lagrange, Viva las Vegas

Oh, the "top ten"? Top ten percent of my collection. :-P

I do believe hell just froze over. The last reports from there were about pigs flying out to avoid being turned into porkcicles and the devil getting a new down parka, while one of his major minions was seen chair-tossing.

Again.

I have this idea for a spoof Google API website in the same vein as the "rectalexamonline.com" stickers. Create a fakely functional website where you can click on a Google map to select the position of your toilet and then when you click the brown Mapymyshit button the site would pretend to trace the sewers carrying your feces to the nearest "treatment facility" (ie your local governmental body). Hilarity ensues.

Main problem is that I know jack shit (pardon the pun) about the Google API and currently don't have the time to learn. Any takers? I'd like a cut of the AdSense take. :-)

I just saw the darndest thing. One of the new stories from The Mysterious Future had a few replies in it. Screenshot 1, Screenshot 2, Screenshot 3, Screenshot 4. I could hit Reply on the posts, but there was no Reply button on the story itself and when I tried to Submit an inane reply, I got "There was an unknown error in the submission." back. WTF?

So, what will happen when The Day After Tomorrow arrives? When the global warming shuts down the Gulf Stream conveyor and freezes a sizable portion of the Russian deep-sea ports solid?

It's gonna be a flashback to the bad old days when I got frostbite on sentry duty outside our tent. Yep, I've done my tour of duty in the Army. I wanted to go Soviet sub-hunting, but the waiting list was too long so I wound up driving a motorbike for the Royal Swedish Artillery instead. We all knew why the Teboil stations in northern Finland had much larger diesel tanks underground than they ever needed. We all knew what the Soviet subs were doing outside our Baltic naval stations. We all had a needle with atropine ready. We did decon drills and outdoor showers in -15C. It was just a matter of time.

Pulling sentry duty in temps of -30C and a bit of wind chill factor while waiting for the moment when "Superpower Red"[1] came for us will seem like a summer-time walk in the park when the tanks bearing the blue, white and black flag finally come rolling in. Putin's going to be wanting some of that old lebensraum for his precious rodina and he's going to go west to pick it up.

[1] I think I've mentioned this before, but all of our drills and exercises were based on the premise that "Superpower Red" would attack us from the east with a great big tank rush. Except this one exercise when some joker at HQ labeled the aggressor "Superpower Yellow". We all got a good laugh out of that one, what would they do - dig a tunnel to us?

Read this and tell me it doesn't remind you of something happening right now. Here, let me help you:

...In our opinion, and from our experience, there is nothing in Iraq, nothing which could happen that realistically threatens the United States of America. And to attempt to justify the loss of one American life in Iraq or Afghanistan by linking such loss to the preservation of freedom, which those misfits supposedly abuse, is to us the height of criminal hypocrisy, and it is that kind of hypocrisy which we feel has torn this country apart....

We found most people didn't even know the difference between terrorism and democracy. They only wanted to work in the desert without helicopters strafing them and bombs burning their mosques and tearing their country apart.

Now we are told that the men who fought there must watch quietly while American lives are lost so that we can exercise the incredible arrogance of Iraqifying the Iraqi....

We are asking Americans to think about that because how do you ask a man to be the last man to die in Iraq? How do you ask a man to be the last man to die for a mistake? But we are trying to do that, and we are doing it with thousands of rationalizations, and if you read carefully the President's last speech to the people of this country, you can see that he says and says clearly:

But the issue, gentlemen, the issue is terrorism, and the question is whether or not we will leave that country to the Terrorists or whether or not we will try to give it hope to be a free people.

But the point is they are not a free people now under us. They are not a free people, and we cannot fight terrorism all over the world, and I think we should have learned that lesson by now....

We are asking here in Washington for some action, action from the Congress of the United States of America which as the power to raise and maintain armies, and which by the Constitution also has the power to declare war.

We have come here, not to the President, because we believe that this body can be responsive to the will of the people, and we believe that the will of the people says that we should be out of Iraq now....

We are also here to ask, and we are here to ask vehemently, where are the leaders of our country? Where is the leadership? We are here to ask where are Bush, Cheney, Powell, Rice, and so many others. Where are they now that we, the men whom they sent off to war, have returned? These are commanders who have deserted their troops, and there is no more serious crime in the law of war. The Army says they never leave their wounded.

The Marines say they never leave even their dead. These men have left all the casualties and retreated behind a pious shield of public rectitude. They have left the real stuff of their reputations bleaching behind them in the sun in this country....

...

Editorial Note: Concluding his formal statement, Kerry commented about administration attempts to disown veterans and looked forward thirty years (to 2001) when the nation could look back proudly to a time when it turned from this war and the hate and fears driving us in Vietnam.

Yeah, right. Welcome to the doubleplusgood future.

Yesterday I read the local newspaper summary of the recent dig in Habra, Iraq. There are a bunch of mass graves, probably from the late 80s and probably filled with kurds, at least 300 of them but there could be up to a thousand in there. The Iraqi butchers had separated the men from the women and children. One boy still held on to his ball. One young mother was found tightly clutching her infant to the chest. The infant had been shot in the neck, the mother in the face.

The parallells to My Lai/Song My and countless other war-time atrocites (the Holocaust, anyone?) are way too strong to ignore. It seems that almost all warfare since the dawn of time has hinged upon de-humanification of the enemy and subsequent slaughter of non-combatants. A leads to B which leads to genocide and ethnic cleansing. Easy as that.

And for what?

What did the Third Reich actually gain from waging war on their neighbours? How did killing six million jews, twenty million soviets and millions of gypsies, disabled and retards actually help the nationstate of Nazi Germany prosper? What did they gain from occupying large parts of western Europe, stretching their military all over the continent? Why did Saddam (and Turkey) insist on not giving the kurds their own state and instead expend billions of hard-earned dinars on keeping a resistant people in check? Why doesn't Putin simply walk away from Chechnya? Why did the US step into Vietnam after the French gave up and called it a day (as an outside observer, being neither a yank nor a frog, it's pretty obvious the French are a lot smarter about picking their battles than the US.)? What is Israel doing in Palestine? How about the former partly ethnically cleansed republic of the remains of what was once known as Yugoslavia? Rwanda? What's with Sudan, right fucking now?

What's in it for the aggressor?

For one, they get a lot of problems. They have to keep the occupied peoples quiet, ie post large military forces there to keep them down. A resistance to occupation is as natural as day and night. Northern Ireland, say no more. This drains the economy of the invader and puts significant stress on their own population once the "us or them" rhetoric wears off. Is it to get at natural resources? Maybe, but historically those don't directly lead to genocides, large land grabs or occupations - they are targeted military operations like Rommel's in Africa and the first Gulf War. And it doesn't have to be oil, it can easily be water like with the Golan Heights. So what else can prod national leaders to whip up a frenzy and take up arms against their neighbours?

In some cases, it's a convenient way to rally the people around yourself and create a climate for pursuing an agenda - like the second Gulf War. So why exactly did Argentina try to take the Falklands? And why did Maggie want them back? Strategic values? Please. Let's go to war over a bunch of sheep and a lighthouse. Yeah, good idea!

What The Fuck Are They Thinking?

Are they thinking, at all? I just don't know anymore... If we get the politicians we deserve, I wonder what the fuck we could have done to deserve these. Some days I'd like to just nuke the whole fucking planet and let it do a hard reboot.

I mean, it's not like the germs and cockroaches would do worse than us.

Gaia #> shutdown -r now

They came in the morning.

The small farming village in the midwest, let's call it Backwater because that's as good a description as any, had just woken up and gone to work when the villagers heard the choppers. The invaders had finally come for them. Most of the farmers were already out in the fields, breaking their backs tending their crops when they landed and the soldiers poured out. Two companies threw a ring around the village while C company went in. Phil Johnson and his wife hid out in the fields when they heard the first shots, afraid not so much for themselves as for their children - they had left their 7-year old daughter Mary and the small boys Tommy, 5 and John, 4 in the village. They didn't dare return to their house until nightfall, long after the soldiers had left.

The leader of the soldiers were a man named Mohammed Al-Tikrit, a regular joe in his civilian life before the war. A stable family background, no known psychological issues, no problems. Well, except his fear of the Americans - the difference in his and their culture was too great so Mohammed and his CO had built a sense of distrust and hate against the natives among their soldiers. Today, that strategy would pay off. They had begun by killing captured enemy soldiers, went on to kill captured enemy civilians suspected to be guerilla soldiers and finally they killed anyone with white skin they could find. If they weren't soldiers, they probably helped the guerilla movement or was thinking about it. Formally, this was prohibited by the invading force, a punishable offense. In reality, noone cared. The whiteys weren't really people. The American Freedom Fighters, as the resisting guerilla called themselves, were just animals that should be slaughtered before they could slaughter you.

It began as soon as the soldiers came out of the heilcopters. A farmer in a nearby field waved and got a short burst of bullets in the chest for his troubles. The villagers ran for cover and the soldiers all started shooting them as they fled. One of the first to go down was young Sarah Hansen with her infant brother Chuck tightly clutched in her arms. Pumped up on adrenaline, the soldiers broke up into small bands of looters roaming the village, dragging people out of their houses, screaming at them in a foreign language and then, frustrated when they didn't get a coherent reply, shot them on the spot.

One invading soldier chases a duck with his bayonet. Another shoots a pig. A group starts pumping lead into a cow, watching it disintegrate before their eyes as the carcass slowly sinks to the ground in a pool of blood. An old woman looks in despair from behind a bush and when the soldiers see her, they all turn to her, ripping her frail body to pieces. Bits of bone flies through the air. One of the soldiers only has a grenade launcher and desperately tries to trade it for an AK-47 so he too can take part. He finally gets one and shoots the head off old Jack Pearson, watching him fall as his brains spill out on the ground and the gushing blood forms a red cloud around him. One of the invaders vomit, but most of them are like robots. Killing indiscriminately without showing any emotions, even laughing. Another opens fire at Courtney Jackson, but he's 25 yards away and only manages to shoot the face off the baby in her arms. She slips into the Post Office and the order is screamed to find and kill her.

Some soldiers finds the time for other activities. One stops Jenny McCabe and puts his pistol against the head of her baby sister to make her suck his cock. After he's done, he kills them both with shots to their heads. One girl gets gang-raped and is rewarded by getting a stream of bullets up her vagina.

A group of women and children are brought out of their shelter near the gas station, by a small grove of trees. Anne Rich, one of the few survivors, tells the harrowing tale: "17 of us hid from the soldiers, but we were dragged out in the morning sun. My sister-in-law and her five-year old son stood in the front of the group and when the soldiers ripped off her blouse and started touching her breasts, she tore free. They didn't like that so the shots started to ring out. They aimed for the heads. I stood to the back, clutching my 3-month old baby to my chest as my friends started to fall. I was lightly wounded in the head and fell under the bodies, holding my hand over little George's mouth to keep him from screaming. They left us for dead, awash in the blood of our neighbors."

A few soldiers tried to fight against the massacre. One tries to bandage wounded Americans. Others let villagers flee. Some refuses to kill the women and children, break down crying or simply walk away. A helicopter pilot sees the killing from above and lands, seething with rage, threatening to kill his fellow countrymen if they don't stop the slaughter - saving a few villagers while keeping his own kind at gunpoint. Some soldiers perform mercy killings; a 5-year old boy with a puzzled look on what's left of his face runs into a group of soldiers, not far from the Texaco gas station. His left hand has been shot off and he's bleeding profusely. One of the soldiers walk up to the boy and turns his head away as a three-shot burst from an AK-47 is heard.

The grand finale took place at the outskirt of town, by Jake Williamson's farm. He had this big old irrigation ditch there and the soldiers, led by Mohammed Al-Tikrit, pushed the remaining villagers there and stood them up in a line by the edge of the ditch. He gave the order to kill all of them and started pushing them into the ditch. Some cried and screamed. Tommy and John started running, but a soldier got John with a bullet in the back and he was lying slumped on the road when his brother, who had gotten away into shelter behind some rocks, ran back to cover him with his own body. The invaders shot them both where they lay and threw their small bodies in the ditch where Phil Johnson found them, long after the soldiers had left.

Mohammed started shooting into the heap of people in the ditch. First one, and then more and more soldiers helped him. Bodies twitched in spasms as the bullets rendered their flesh. Blood gushed in clouds. Pieces of brains, tissue and bones flew through the air. A few granades was tossed in, for good measure. Then all was still, except for a small boy of two. It was Jake's son, Charlie. Like a bloody apparition, he dragged himself out of the ditch crying silently and started to run for his father's house nearby but Mohammed catched up with him, carried him back to the ditch, tossed the toddler back in the heap of bodies and shot him.

---

This is a true story. This is what really happened on the morning of March 19, 1968. But the village wasn't really called Backwater, USA. It was Song My, Vietnam. Mohammed is a man named Calley. Tommy and John were really a pair of gooks named Ba and Cu. The AK-47s were M-16s. Anne Rich is a woman named Le Thi Huynh.

The invading soldiers were Americans. Four of them would stand trial for their actions. One of them, William Laws Calley, was convicted and spent all of three days in prison before being confined to his house and then subsequently pardoned.

When John Kerry testified in front of the senate, he was trying to restore the honor of all the thousands of American GIs that didn't take part in the Song My massacre or any of the other atrocities that occur in wartime. He did not steal anyone's honor, no more than that helicopter pilot did when he tried to stop the massacre. They tried to give honor back to the ones worthy of it. The real blame lies on the politicians and military top brass that swept the crimes under the rug, bundling all the honorable soldiers with a few war criminals instead of clearly separating the two. Those are the real thieves here.

The movie Stolen Honor isn't about John Kerry stealing anyone's honor by telling the truth. It's about stealing an election by trying to, once again, sweep war crimes under the rug. Pretending they didn't exist and thereby painting all Vietnam veterans with the same blood-stained brush normally reserved for psychopatic war criminals. And that's the real theft of honor here.

In my quest for stuff that can be modeled in a FPS game engine, the turn has come to the filesystem.

I know there's a project for interacting with and fragging processes in Doom, so why not navigate the filesystem the same way? Walk into subdirectories and find a bunch of Doom3-style PDAs that you can pick up and watch, listen to or read. Want to delete a file? Reach for the plasma rifle. Move? Drop the PDA in another room or just teleport it across the network.

For version 2.0 - combine them. Watch your processes as they read and write files. If one of them tries to open a file it shouldn't - frag the bastard! Open up a door to create a new room or make it a link to an existing room.

Windows' new background update service is really getting on my nerves. I. Want. To. Restart. LATER! I DON'T want to have my computer asking me every five fucking minutes if it's OK to restart. What, my computer's got Alzheimer's now? Can't remember what I answered when it asked me the same stupid question just now? I'll restart Windows when I'm fucking good and ready to restart Windows. Get it? Stop stealing focus when I'm writing!

I'll be coming over to Redmond soon, asking around for the idiot that came up with this "feature". I'll be packing a friend. It will be listed as an "enforced Darwin award" on the autopsy. The jury will want my autograph. There will be websites singing my praise. (There's a bit of video. Watch it. It's disturbing as all hell and still oddly satisfying.)