you're scaring (and scarring) everyone!

and gallows pole has an eerie topical vibe to it these days!

hey, how's it goin' anyway?

Ok, if Apple comes out with their version of a phone, i'll take a serious look at it right away. if they have the basic features i need--corporate email, good PIM, good calender, integration with outlook, and internet access...i'm all theirs. :)

apple just designs such beautiful and functional stuff. i can barely ask for more from my ipod and itunes. there are a few things, but not much. still destroys winamp and wmp.

i was so skeptical of them and was avoiding them at all costs, but having an ipod and itunes and playing around with OS X has just won me over on their merits alone. so...i'm their bitch for now.

don't fuck that up apple!

tried everything on hand. meditation, banging my head against the wall, counting about 32 species of animals, singing boring doors songs, nothin'.

stuck in a hotel and i just can't sleep. i'd take tylenol pm, but it would keep me groggy all day tomorrow.

bah!

so what do you do when you can't sleep?

c) just say, "screw it" and stay up for 48 hours straight
r) snort warm milk up your nose
a) watch tv until your iq falls 50 points
p) ???

ah back to bed to toss and turn some more.

WITHOUT: destroying the entire planet, killing more people, road raging, bar-fighting, betraying, trolling, name-calling, hating, lying, fearing, prejudice, generalizations, divisiveness.

WITH: love :D

Happy New Year!!!!

Love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love.
There's nothing you can do that can't be done.
Nothing you can sing that can't be sung.
Nothing you can say but you can learn how to play the game
It's easy!

There's nothing you can make that can't be made.
No one you can save that can't be saved.
Nothing you can do but you can learn how to be in time
It's easy!

All you need is love, all you need is love,
All you need is love, love, love is all you need.

Love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love.
All you need is love, all you need is love,
All you need is love, love, love is all you need.

There's nothing you can know that isn't known.
Nothing you can see that isn't shown.
Nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be.
It's easy!

All you need is love, all you need is love,
All you need is love, love, love is all you need.
All you need is love (all together now)
All you need is love (everybody)
All you need is love, love, love is all you need.

(she loves you yeah, yeah, yeah. she loves you yeah, yeah, yeah.)

zoooo!!! hello!!! on a natural high. 1 last day of dealing with a tricky customer and i'm OFF FOR AN ENTIRE WEEK!!!!!!!!!

heaven heaven heaven! i'm so happy. this is the best day i've had in 2 months.

OOOOOH!!! LYLA is on. HEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYY LYLA! The world around us makes me feel so small....

LYLA!

jam that. down your. fucking throat! and smoke it. or whatever.

merry jts b-day and happy new foot!

i made this italian oriented dinner and it was FANTASTIC!!! i didn't use any recipes. i made my own sauce with olive oil, tomato sauce, green peppers, onions, oregano, gahhhlic, and mushrooms (added near the end). also cooked up some boneless chicken breasts in oil, gahhhlic, green pepper and spices. then i mixed the chicken into the sauce.

i put provolone cheese on top and let it melt. it was DELICIOUS!!! i couldn't believe it. it was all by just adding things--never really did that before much. i was worried it would suck.

also, got some bread sticks (soft) and covered them with butter melted with garlic and topped it with parmesan cheese. cooked that in the oven for a while.

topped off with a nice chianti, boiled some fresh angel hair pasta, and it was a delicious meal.

only bad thing is wdb wants me to cook more often now. heh--double-edge sword. ;)

Hey, just wanted to wish everyone a safe and happy holiday season. Be careful out there! :) Just wish we would get some more snow--all our snow melted and it's so grim and gray outside.

Another year just about under our belts. I actually am getting that stunned feeling about how quickly life is flying by--i can't believe it's been 11 years since i graduated from college. sheesh.

Well, back to work! Merry Christmas!

i'm now "Beelzebub2" compared to the cute cuddly Smoochy Bear. Ethelred has disowned me. I'm so sad, and yet, I'm my own man nonetheless. No dictator is gonna tell me what to believe no more!!!! :)

signed, proudly since there is no stinking satan,
Beelzebub2 :D

P.S. ethelred, atheists love you! i love you man!

P.P.S. i'm thankful for reason, science, darwin and his dangerous idea, the stone roses, java, and sweet lovin' child'n!!! happy thanksgiving!

P.P.S.S. In the words of Rage Against the Machine:

WWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

P.P.P.S.S. Sambuca is a nice treat!

P.P.P.S.S.S Michael Richards is fuzzled upzizzled. What a bummer.

i never know when i'm going to offend everyone (not my intention ever) or have a great discussion when i bring up religion. that last one has 50 comments! yikes. it also seems that no one got pissed at me or each other, which is nice. that's exactly all i ask for when i complain about religion--let's at least talk about it without getting pissed at each other. i don't exactly know what it is that i do when things go bad, but i'd like to do less of that and more of this. let's listen to each other's ideas/criticisms/beliefs and see if all of us can learn new things. i know i've learned some things.

thanks everyone!!!

i was IM-ing with RevMike yesterday and we talked about our educations. I went to a Lutheran grade school and high school. I never heard the word evolution once. RevMike learned all about, prior to high school even IIRC. I had biology for 3 years in high school and evolution was never mentioned. i find that reprehensible.

people who haven't had this happen to them most likely can't understand what it's like coming out from under that indoctrination that you always doubted in the back of your mind. it's very 1984-esque, except, I no longer agree that 2+2=5--so it's a happy ending. I'm glad I didn't believe that The Beatles worshiped the devil as had been taught to me for the first 15 years of my life.

if you hadn't been indoctrinated, were allowed to think freely, and hadn't experienced the almost "middle ages" demonization of atheists and other religions, you can't quite know why it's so important to promote intellectual honesty and not accept laziness in thinking of important matters. i suppose everyone has a cause that is important to them in fundamental ways. for me, the TRUTH is the most important.

i have no use for religion and i never really did because it seemed as far-fetched as santa claus--however, people don't kill in the name of santa or believe we should "nuke the hell outta them santa-less arab bastards". there is no point in speculating about a god because there is no evidence in its existence whatsoever. you can always ask the question, "what about before the big bang?" i say, "i don't know". it's intellectually honest to do so. saying it was "god" is a very weak hypothesis at best. you could just as easily say it was my left ear that had superpowers, but rescinded them once it spawned the big bang.

intellectual honesty is very important to me. i've got a long way to go to stick to it myself, but i'm trying as best i can. i will continuously question and think as critically as possible.

so, that's why i get pretty passionate about this topic. when you all moan when you see old btlzu2 bitching about religion again, maybe you can understand it better. :) i see it as the challenge of this century to break the bonds of religion and to allow people to learn the true wonders of the world and the universe. i'll discuss it with whoever wants to listen.

the smiths eh?

i had a filet mignon with ze vife tonight that is to die for. that and a chateuneuf du pape from Mo. Louis Jardot that was to die for. i'm beginning to understand, though, the cognitive dissonance about realizing we're ALL related to the same ancestors (per evolution) and then eating a cow. it doesn't hold, but there's nothing like a filet mignon with wine. maybe someday i'll realize the error of my ways and become a tree-hugging vegetarian. UNtil then, bottoms up and medium (pink throughout) with au gratin potatoes please.

I love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love being home. It's spectacular. I always appreciated being home, now i ridiculously adore it. It's a luxury of all time to sleep in my own bed with my adorable wife. There's nothing sweeter in the entire universe for me.

i want something else.
to get me through this.
semi-charmed kinda life.

i like little red panties they pass the test line, but i can't remember where it is.

slide up round the belly face down on mattress.

Imagine.

As ordered RevMike. Well, sorta. This is a highly buzzed JE. WARNING!!! BUZZED JE.

RevMike ordered that I release the mursderous thoughts I have for a particular situation i happen to be in with, of all things, alcohol. He was right. I'm no longer frantically pissed at what is going on! note: it's not my company or my job per se. it's the something something something i'm dealing with. i don't want to allude to too (tutu?) much.

alcohol, beef jerky, and some fusking The Who.

pick up my guitar and play
just like yesterday
then i'll get on my knees and NO WAY FUCKING PRAY TO NO BULLSHIT GOD!
heh.

Wait, does that rhyme? Oh wel...you guys expect that from me by now anyway.

WHERE THE *FUCK* IS SOME WOMAN ANYWAY? THAT'S WHAT I WANT TO KNOW. EM TOO. I miss the old days of em's reign o'r me. :D (notice the who thing going on?) Heh.

well, i just want to see my wife without having to drive 800 fucking miles like i did last week thanks to chicago weather. i'll do it again if i have to. i'm not nearly as much at peace alone as when i'm with her--although, i do alright you know. hey subgeekorino? you know i drove through columbus last saturday at about 3 am? :) it's true it's true it's ture.

oooh, i love this part! the BEST GODDAMNED SCREAM EVER IN ROCK AND ROLL: YYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

meet the new boss!
same as the old boss!!!!
FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!!!!!! yeah.

Good night peeps. Sweet dreams. i'm off to play some grand theft auto on my psp. kill some innocent pedestrians!

update
drunk noww. i've decided that yuengling tastes like piss of a person who drinks piss. not a big fan. but, it got me prettyu happy.

also, i have to say i love pink floyd now. i was wrong. they're incredible. one of the only bands besides radiohead that captures the essence of the human condition. also, primo musicians. stone roses will always kick all other bands' asses though. they're da shit!

and iiiiii'm calling all you angels.

man, just getting down the past week or two--feeling so blah and exhausted. what a crappy day. it seemed that everything just was going wrong and i felt really down about my abilities today. i'm always damn thinking everything is my fault.

did you know that i caused nazi germany??? that's how bad it gets. ;)

i just get down when i see people struggling against each other and i feel caught in the middle. i hate being in the middle and i'm always in the damn middle. i don't understand why things get the way they do. people can disagree, but why does it have to get spiteful and bitter? i'd just rather solve problems than dwell in them.

had a great workout tonight and it snapped me out of my sadness over feeling like i wasn't doing enough at work to bring me into my sadness over missing wdb. so, i'm in pretty fucking good shape here.... :D

calling all angels came on random on my slashdot personalized ipod ;) (i always think of everyone here when i play that ipod) and that song was just what i needed. i always think i have to change and not be so willing to work with people because i feel like i'm just naive and stupid.

then the lyrics: "i won't give up if you don't give up" really kicked in. helped me remember who i am and now i'm just content. good old music. :)

hope everyone is doing ok!

Don't be afraid to care.
Leave but don't leave me.
Look around and choose your own ground.

Long you live and high you fly
And smiles you'll give and tears you'll cry
And all you touch and all you see
Is all your life will ever be.

Run, rabbit run.
Dig that hole, forget the sun,
And when at last the work is done
Don't sit down it's time to dig another one.

For long you live and high you fly
But only if you ride the tide
And balanced on the biggest wave
You race towards an early grave.

These lyrics just reminded me of the past couple day's elections. Don't know why... ;)