I really like it when Lynda brings home a pair of lacy panties from Victoria's Secret at the Mall and makes me put them on. She ties me up to the bed and wears her thigh high boots and latex catsuit and calls me a douchebag. It's so fucking hot.

I beg her over and over again, "Do what thou wilt, Mistress!!" and she cracks her whip and tells me that she doesn't make idle threats, on the web or otherwise, and calls me ellem (note els for ones) and says that she's gonna take over my Slashdot account and post naughty things about me having cybersex with MILFs.

Then she jams the caulking gun up my ass and empties it into my colon. Lynda RAWKS she is so hot!

Just the thought of it gives me batwings.

Ninety-nine and forty-four one hundreths of the world is just trying to get by day to day. Fifty-three one hundreths is really fucking things up.

And the other three hundreths are fwopping themselves raw and typing with one hand while they cyber with MILFs in chatrooms.