It appears to be strong enough to break the slashdot RSS feed... every link goes to a "Moved Permanently" page with yet another link... the quake must have shifted some bits around in storage...

That could set flare bartending competition back years...
On the upside sales of Clorox Wipes would skyrocket!

That's not something you hear often...
Possibly do to low repeat sales...

Their shiny new centrifuge bearings seize up, ruining a few hundred thousand dollars worth of equipment, and they end up waiting 20 minutes for help from a Manila call center?

Well, if they chose to attack a person using such a method then the punishment should fit the crime...
They get a dangerous and unnecessary surgery of their very own...
via dialup...
with no firewall...
using a system running Windows ME...

That last one might be a step too far. (damn, I ran out of ellipsis!)

I liked it better the other way...
That's him officer, the guy with the head that looks like a cheap LED candle! Be careful, he's very evil...

That was incentivization, not restrictive action. It's one thing to help someone replace an old car and another to disallow them for daily use... not seeing it coming may indicate a lack of foresight. Once that happens off lease and certified used cars with warranties will be gold...

I would also not be surprised to see a stratification of drivers licensees with known, long term non-aggressive drivers allowed in traffic with autonomous cabs and buses while those who like to use their vehicle's potential to it's fullest or use driving for emotional expression may be limited as to where we can drive.
[Disclaimer: I may be in the latter group at times]

Obviously at that point shade tree mechanics (no matter how fancy a tree they have) and hotrodders will be out of the question.

Sales is all they understand. Now they would like to force you to use them for service. Next it will be "Remove all cars more than X years old because of pollution ( I know, you think a car manufacturer would not touch that topic, but they will) and safety issues. The only thing you can do is convert an old car to electric (and they will scream about safety for that too) and not buy a car under the new terms.

From a legislative point of view, an automobile conveys more personal freedom than anything other than weapons. Therefor it will be constrained, (you can only drive this or that type of vehicle) then limited (i. e. mass transit or autonomous-cabs for the masses), then restricted (as in "Hey you middle class,go huddle with the masses") until only the elite have actual freedom of movement.

Jeez, I'm surprised they didn't tack on voltage drop as a multiplier somewhere...

Dear Customer,
While delivering your power we encountered a voltage drop which adversely impacted our overall ampacity. There will of course be a surcharge for this.

We pay a flat rate for sewage based on living square feet (i. e. a non-dwelling like retail or a factory has a different calculation than a home or apt.) like bath + bed rooms. The city collects sewage fees but may or may not be the water supplier depending on an exact location... Also, some people may have a septic system, but they have to seal it and connect to city sewer to get any kind of building permit. I'm OK with that as the septic tank size was based on the original (read "very old") floor plan. As for potable water, the rate is not bad up to a certain point, but once you go beyond normal needs the overages are billed at a much higher rate. There is not a thousand square feet of lawn on my whole street combined. I have known people with new swimming pools to hire water trucks to bring in 20,000 gallons from outside city limits because they saved money by initially filling the pool that way.

Digressed a bit there... our sewage bill is on the trash bill if we have city trash service and comes separate if we do not... but not tied to water at all.

I fear I would then end up with two bills, one covering the cost of the energy I want and another to allow the delivery of that energy to the location I desire...

And because the lines are not owned by the power seller, when an ice storm takes them down I would probably get a bill for my portion of the repair! Yes, they already pass those costs on, but it is spread amongst many more customers. I don't want to see the bill for my exact share of the repair of the circuit that runs from the power source clear to my meter. I could end up paying for work done on a generation station, sub-stations, etc. that are not even in my state.

Utility companies buy and sell power to each other as demand and supply dictate, and their overhead (including normal line maintenance) is factored into the system. Having a third party control distribution would simply add another entity feeding off the revenue stream... that's OK, they can just pass that on to end users and it will be business as usual!

I kinda miss the old days when we just attributed any Microsoft action to monopolistic douchebaggery and moved on to bashing them for it...
Then again, it is Sunday and for many people a Holiday, so things may normalize a bit later.

I would never use that expression of exasperation anyway...
I know where my hands have been!

As long as it's not Tiddlywinks...

Great, now I have to find a way to wash my minds eye with peroxide...