What I'm about to say is probably going to tick off a lot of people, so start sharpening your blades now. But quite frankly, you can get over it.
Gnome 3 is not an 'unholy mess' by any means, and having an attractive, functional (yes, it's functional - I get my work done and can access everything without a problem) DE is not a crime. Hardcore linux types seem to think that you can only get work done with boring, gray, win95 style environments. Gnome 3 makes me more efficient - hitting the meta and then typing out the first four letters of the program to call it up, then hitting enter is significantly faster than typing out a whole command or digging my way through gnome 2.x/winxp style menus. It seems like a lot of people are just afraid of change because it's change. Some people are ticked about the launching programs vs. window switching thing, but I really think this is a non-issue. If you don't like it that way, use the alt+tab to switch programs, don't use the bar.
The hilarious thing here is that many of us want other people to use linux and show an interest in linux because open source is the best way to go for a lot of approaches. Open source allows for customization. If you don't like your DE, just download another one. If you really want a command line system only, you can do that. If you don't like Gnome 3 or any of the OS X inspired systems (which themselves are significantly more railroaded into the designer-inspired changes than the DEs we use on linux systems), just don't use them. Or write your own if it's that terrible.
In short. Looking good isn't a sin, and some smooth animations are hardly the end of work on linux desktops. Now, feel free to leave your hate mail after the beep.