I get confused. I think Vlad == Balmer
Vlad: Pass me another fucking red wine.
Servant: Yes me lord. If me lord please, though, it does kind of smell down here. Should I get some nice lavender to sprinkle around the table as well?
Vlad: Lavender? You fucking moron. Are you an anus poofy lover wanker shit like gay, dude? If you think it stinks down here how about we see how you find out if it smells better up there? *points to impaled, groaning bodies*
* Guards put lavender up servant's ass and smear it with lovely olive oil.*
Servant: Please, me Lord. You have an obligation to disclose this.
Vlad: Disclose this you stupid newt *shoves his Apple up Servant's ass
* Guards slowly insert Vlad's pole into Servant's anus *
Vlad: Not that fucking pole you imbeciles. *throws chair*
* Guards quickly lathe the chair Vlad threw into a sharp pole and insert its splintery length into the servant's pooh hole before hoisting the pole vertical*
Vlad: Ah, much better.
Servent 2: Vlad?
Vlad: Yes?
Servent 2: You have a telephone call from your stockholders.
Vlad: Yes?
Servent 2: They want you to talk to them.
Vlad: Well, why didn't you say so you son of a tomato crossed with a peanut encrusted fucking carrot? *Bites into developer*
*Vlad runs around like monkey shouting developers, developers, developers, developers*
Servent 2: 'scuse me, me Lord.
*Vlad picks up the phone*
Vlad: Hello.
Stockholders: Hi Vlad, is everything above board? Nothing to disclose?
Vlad: Of course not dear fellow. Everything's jolly good. Tally Ho.