I have to call bs on this one, having taught English in a Japanese town for five years and constantly talking with other teachers and university professors from around the country.

Japanese school children are taught the wrote-method training. Monbukagakusho and their ever increasing workload for the teacher doesn't really help much either. Constant repetition and memorization, quantity over quality. Everything they learn is for passing entrance exams. You can pass the entrance exam to Todai and never even fully matriculate, but you can get a good job on that basis alone. Their education system seems to almost expunge any curiosity, creativity and free thinking.

Case in point: English (or any language other than their own). Sure, they memorize tons of vocabulary, but they can't speak to save their lives, and the ones that can manage speak the cursed 'katakana' English. The kids need a pattern to speak and write. If you give them a comic with the bubbles blotted out and tell them to come up with their own, well over half cannot do it and instead write English vulgarities or leave it blank. It is incredibly rare to have a student actually come up and speak English out of their own volition, or indeed show any academic proficiency for fear of bullying by their classmates (the nail that sticks out is hammered back in).

The elevator system also adds emphasis to the fact that you don't even need to go to school to graduate. You CANNOT fail, no matter how hard you try. Should the class fail a test, the teacher will give out the test corrections and then give the SAME EXACT TEST within the week, and keep doing the same test until ALL students pass. This is because it is mandatory to keep children in school until they hit high school, but even some high schools (not all) continue the elevator system, so by the time you hit university many students don't know shit from their left hand. But they sure know their maths well! (well, some of them anyway...)

I think you also wanted to add "Waseda" to the list of the big three. However, they are not the end-all-be-all universities they used to be. Ritsumeikan in Kyoto is renown for its academic excellence as well as APU in Oita. Seinan Gakuin University in Fukuoka is considered one of if not the top school in Kyushu and very respected throughout Japan.

Whilst Spiderman was chasing the portly kleptomaniac around the hazardous maze filled with random innocents, the Jedi Knights guarded the entrance and waved their hands saying "This is not the exit you are looking for..." to which the evil Hutt had no choice but to return the sacred picture book.

But it makes Baby Jebus cry, and anything that makes that twat cry is a big no no in Good Ole America (TM). People need any excuse to justify their hate, especially by the religious zombies.

Bestiality is probably the only way for some /.'s. Whatever floats your boat, I don't judge. Just be responsible!

Of course shagging a sheep with a sheep-skin condom would be ... ironic?

Must have been a rating rounding error...

Yousa people gonna die?

Seppuku?

I think you mean "I missed the joke..."

graffiti was written in special glow in the dark compounds all over london tubes in klingon, ancient greek, hieroglyphics and linear-b soon after.

I'd give mod points for this brilliant piece of advice.

OP's story also made me laugh. Good stuff. I love slashdot =)

Or even better, Legendary Black Beast of Aaaaarrrrrrggghhh !!!! (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Monty_Python_and_the_Holy_Grail#Legendary_Black_Beast_of_Aaaaarrrrrrggghhh)

Dick Cheney on a leash outside the front yard. Should be not only scary enough to keep invaders away, but the damn mormons too.
And Rummsfeld in the back just in case...