The One-Point-Five Inches that Destroyed the World (Score 5, Funny)

yeah, that extra 1.5" is an unbearable distance to reach..

Hold on. Take a step back and look at the big picture:

Doing some basic, preliminary research while reading the article (and extrapolating the data), I've found that I use the escape key an average of 2983742 times per day. Now, that inch-and-a-half may not seem like much, but do some conversion: that's around seventy extra miles I'm moving my arm per day. Now, I'm an above average escapist, so I figure that if I'm moving my arm an extra 70 miles, the average user is probably moving only about 68 miles per day. I'm not an expert, but from what I gather from 60 Minutes, I'm probably burning calories equivalent to those I would take in consuming an entire cow. We know that forfty percent of cows are fed on the burning corpses of amazon rainforest trees. I saw a movie once (starring Sean Connery and someone else) in which they found the cure for cancer in the Amazon! And think of all the heat emitted from those trees, coupled with the MEGAJOULES of energy being emitted in the form of heat from the burning of the cows (for food) each day, per person. Now, INSFBCL (I'm Not Some Fancy Big City Lawyer), but you don't have to be teh inventor of the intarweb to know that that much heat escaping into the atmosphere is at least quintupling the effects of Global Warning every year.

Move the escape key to the caps-lock slot? Is there really any question? Is there really any choice?

Think of the children. And their melty ice-cream cones.

And cancer.