I've used Mikrotik Routerboards for years and have been very happy with them. They're very flexible, relatively cheap, and I've not had any issues with reliability. I don't think they run anything like DD-WRT, but their supplied OS is very powerful. Has ssh login for admin and a Cisco IOS like interface.

The following RB435G should fit your needs:

3 x GigE ports
3 x miniPCI slots for wireless (R52nM for 802.11n)
DynDNS Updates: [Yes]
DHCP Sever with Option 66: [Yes]
Static IP based on MAC: [Yes]
Port forwarding: [Yes]
QoS support: [Yes]

Unfortunately there's more than that. Now it's not just a question of what you post, but what others post about you. Note as an example, on Facebook, you can't prevent others from tagging you in photographs.

Whilst facebook is very annoying, it's also very useful. It's an address book that updates itself for you, the ability to get in touch with people because you know who they know, and email without spam (relatively easy when you have a trust network). That also makes it somewhat unavoidable, at least until someone else fills that space.

Andrew Orlowski's stories need to be taken with a pinch of salt. I do like his articles, but they're often off the mark. If you read more carefully you'll find the times correspondant's statement is relatively accurate.

They translated it into Chinglish for the local market

Try mailmanager - http://sourceforge.net/projects/mailmanager/ It will scale well (up to 100k tickets per day if you push it), and it lacks some of the major restrictions of RT in terms of workflow.

You've stated QQ is malware and linked to a wikipedia article, but the wikipedia article makes no suggestion of that. Even calling it adware seems far fetched based on this article... Ad-ridden, perhaps?

I buy records. They certainly don't sound better than CDs. But I still quite like them. Is that ok?