sarcasm isn't a substitute for an argument.
I find it odd that only a government can guarantee these things. The same government that can't balance a ledger. I simply will never agree with someone that think 600+ people playing politics in washington know what is best for 307,765,999 people by writing a law. Despite your sarcasm, if someone did want to get their brain-ass transplant in your unclean apartment (go clean it you dirty person) then they will do it despite the government.
I am not going to to pretend that the government has magical power to fly around protecting us.