rebranded as walking canes, suitable for thrashing uncultured young whelps that insist on annoying their elders by taking selfies everywhere.

Ah, but see, that puts in stark contrast the GENIUS of Microsoft.
The only unbreakable lock is the one that does not exist.
They brilliantly prevented people from running Windows on 68k Macs, with 100% success.
Unfortunately, their engineers aren't the Titans they were in the days of yore. I've heard rumors that Windows 8 has managed to sneak onto some tablets, but I don't believe them.

Just remember I told you so when Elon Musk is holding the Earth for a ransom of one MILLION dollars or he'll smack us with an asteroid.


Also, could one of these new asteroid mining companies get whatever's left of Atari to sponsor them so they can fly under the Atari logo?

Your toy airplane is weak if it can't hack it in a light breeze.

countermeasure - pee in the exhaust port

Next they need an AI that can describe the smells in a image.
Then you can finally tell if someone on the internet is a dog.

ah. So since Francis Bacon isn't deceased, he's not considered. Got it.

I really need to know if mammoths are tasty.
Plus, Brundlefly, they're not carnivorous. No problemo.

Gulags for people who can't code their way out of "hello world" ?
YES.

Now skynet can BORE us to death!
Thanks Science.

When you name your movement after a bunch of guys who didn't want to pay taxes, don't be surprised to receive some extra scrutiny from the taxman. Sheeesh.

The way you clicked on that report button seemed kinda rape-y to me. Reported.

I'm sure that in 1985, plutonium is available in every corner drugstore.
D'OH!

Are they using the tether to generate electricity to run the ion engines? Man, that would be wacky to try to drive.

If they can, they will.
It's like melamine in you baby food.
Don't give me no shuck about "legal", "constitutional" or "moral".
Just assume if it's technically possible, somebody is doing it, and act accordingly.

-- NOTE -- the quote was satire, relevant to the arms race you've created, NSA