There is a lot of ugly misogyny in games.
Yes there is. And in society as a whole. And it isn't just misogyny.
If you're a woman gamer, and you don't respond to certain male gamers they way they want you to, you will get death threats, rape threats and doxxing.
I wish that someone with better gaming skills than me would do a few tests. As such:
Create an account with a female name and avatar. Play some games. Record the reactions.
Create an account that appears to be African American. Play some games. Record the reactions.
Create an account that appears to be LGBT. Play some games. Record the reactions.
Create an account that appears to be Jewish. Play some games. Record the reactions.
Create an account that appears to be Muslim. Play some games. Record the reactions.
Create an account that appears to be a teenage male. Play some games. Record the reactions.
I'd say that you'd find an amazing amount of hatred for each of those categories. Not because there really is that degree of specific hatred. But because the people losing are trying to hurt the victor with whatever insults they think might work.
The fact that most games are written and told from an adolescent male point of view does not help. It creates a sort of greasy milieu where it's easy to believe that any behavior toward a woman is acceptable.
While I believe that that is a MAJOR factor I think it is also an unconscious strategy on the part of the less competent gamers.
If a woman beats you at that game and you call her a whore and she leaves and never comes back then that is one less player who is better than you.
In my experience, no one bothers with directed insults at someone who is a worse player or who agrees with your opinions.
So, IMO, there is no solution in the larger context. But there are ways to mitigate it in the specific category of playing games. And the easiest to implement would be to restrict messages until a player has sufficient investment in a system to behave themselves.
I also hope that, someday, someone will come up with a variation of the Bechdel test to demonstrate how women are depicted in games. If the woman can be replaced with a bowling ball then there is a problem with the writing.
My daughter was kidnapped and is going to be auctioned into sexual slavery! I must kill all the peoples.
vs.
My bowling ball was stolen and is going to be auctioned on eBay. I must kill all the peoples.