Wow this is a wall of text. *sigh*
1. Ok, first of all the benefit of the netbook keyboard is that it's built in. Nobody wants to try to balance the iPad at an angle and try to finagle a keyboard on their lap at the same time, regardless of the manner that it's connected.
2. Battery life is 6-10 hours for most netbooks, which is certainly within the range of the iPad, considering the increase in power and extensibility.
3. Video on a 5-year-old iPod is not Flash, so you're not even making a decent argument here. Not to mention that it's at 320x240, which even the worst netbook can blaze through. Can your 5-year-old iPod play video in HD? How about over the internet? What's the excuse?
4. No, my netbook does much more than an iPad for what I want to use a computer for, not novelty bullcrap like you're spouting. No iPad is "morphing into thousands of other devices". What planet are you from? You're confusing software with hardware at this point...go buy any audio mixing software if you want a performant solution. I can watch as much Netflix as I want, and I can watch in HD even. Oh, and it outputs to my HDTV. Not only that, but I can stream video from my home server through it, or share my library with any of the other computers in my house so they can watch in the other room for a party. If I just get really crazy, I might even hook into my DVR and stream to anywhere else in the house. Amazing! The iPad has a touch screen and orientation switching which is certainly good for some cool apps, but that doesn't mean it's useful.
5. You're oversimplifying what browsing is. You're doing a subset of browsing (and no, "zooming" is not part of the web). Also, just because something is touch interactive doesn't mean it's more natural or intuitive. It's just another interface for humans to understand. It's certainly a good interface, but definitely not the only or most natural way of doing it. Why don't you try giving voice commands sometime? That's way more natural, IMO.
6. Yes, I'm going to win the argument on video because of what I said above. You show me where the HDMI cable plugs into your iPad and you'll have won. Is there an app for that? And by the way, vendor-neutral means it works on my netbook, laptop, phone, and any other computers too, so it's not really an advantage for the iPad here.
7. I know all about video codecs dude. I've helped implement them. Yes, the iPad can do it, and you can go rent all the $2.99 videos you want from the iTunes Store, and I'll continue watching whatever I want on my HDTV through my netbook and laptop.
8. I love Opera and I use the full version daily (and Opera Mobile for a previous phone) but Opera Mini is meant for dumbphones, not for a device like a netbook or an iPad. It's intentionally marketed for phones that limit bandwidth or have hardly any processing power. It's honestly not even a full browser. We're talking about full, actual browsers here, such as Firefox, Opera desktop, Chrome, (name your favourite browser here) etc.
9. I don't like viruses either, which is why I don't have any, and I am responsible about computer security. All systems are insecure in some manner, even the ones running Apple software. My moral high ground is this: there are people that will get viruses on systems that provide freedom. I choose that freedom to modify my system in manners that I deem necessary or useful to me, with the knowledge that it is my responsibility, not Big Brother's, to protect me. Not everyone likes this philosophy, so they can have a different system.
10. Dell, HP, and Acer all have netbooks that look quite nice. They're even shiny!
11. People always love the talking point about how Apple software is just so easy to use, but like I mentioned above, it's just another interface for humans to understand. And yeah, when you have a severely limited number of features, you can simplify the interface. But netbooks are quite simple to use for most folks. Open it up, click the shiny email or web icon, and off you go. There are toddlers and grandmas using non-iPad devices too.
12. Your argument about having "C" apps is so completely ridiculous. That's like saying that everything developed in the last 35 years isn't working for modern computers. The programming language is only important for determining the past experience of the developers working on the platform, and has almost nothing to do with performance or application usefulness (with the exception of Palm and their ill-advised platform for the Pre, etc). That "fragmented" Android market sure is pumping out a lot of apps for each fragment of the market. How about that fragmentation of having the iPad and iPhone both on the App Store now? How about having several different supported versions of the Mac OS? Does that make the latest version any worse?
13. Flash is not vendor lock-in, because it runs on a variety of devices and platforms. Besides, the vendor lock-in that I'm talking about is App Store dominance and the jailbreak requirement to run apps that are not approved by Apple. Again, Big Brother's watching to make sure you don't get a boo boo.