Oh sure! And 100,000 years later when a cubesat travelling .9999 the speed of light plows into the Dynarri ambassador's starship, guess who they'll be coming for!

Someone needs a visit from Zombie Feynman!

It'd be nice if Google could detect and downrank these sites. They should probably also do that for any site that gives you a significantly different page if it detects the google webcrawler versus any other agent. And as long as I'm asking, also pages that require Javascript to render. Downrank the lot because clicking on them is just a waste of my time anyway.

Fuck you, people with cataracts! Can you see me shooting you this bird? Boop boop boop boop boop!

I'm super-psyched about all of this, but I suspect the camera I'm going to have to bolt onto my helmet to film 3D 360 degree VR videos while flying the wingsuit is going to be nasty.

I'm SURE that if we just make the office environment JUST A LITTLE more uselessly distracting, employee efficiency will improve dramatically! I'll just sign everyone up for IT downtime and maintenance notifications for every location the company has on the planet, with no way to unsubscribe!

Yeah, that's a great idea. Think I'll trade my spot at the bottom of this gravity well for a different spot at the bottom of a significantly crappier gravity well. You might think "No problem! We'll do it as a penal colony! After they clean the joint up -- kill all the Mars spiders and Mars snakes, us civilized folks will move in!" Wrong! Those prisoners are the base of the hugely profitable prison industry and if you send 'em all off-planet, you greatly increase overall costs while losing all the extra profits from the massive recidivism rates. Nope, I was the first one to want to get off-planet as a kid, but until they come up with an idea that doesn't involve moving to some other shithole of a planet, I'm staying put!

1. Only to the extent you allow it. With a few simple steps, you can live a practically ad-free existence. If you can't be arsed, you get what you get.

2. Don't pretend you don't get something for your attention. To be effective, advertising must keep you at least mildly amused for some amount of time. Take for example, GoPro or Red Bull's ads. Not familiar with them? Go ahead and google them. I'll wait. Aaah! Almost got you! See 1. Anywhoo, some guy with their logos plastered all over him doing some amazing wingsuit stunt is both reasonably effective advertising and pretty damn entertaining. Clearly those companies think it's effective enough to keep funding it. Hell, I'd say both companies are probably better media companies than they are at making their respective products.

I recently determined that the problem with our ERP software is that it's not getting laid enough. Nothing makes it more difficult to concentrate on processing all those transactions than being all pent up like that. So on the minus side there's going to be more competition for Charlene in Marketing (And you KNOW the ERP software is a much smoother talker than you are) but on the plus side, we should start seeing a couple hundred thousand extra transactions per second as soon as this software gets installed!

At some point there will be less legal penalty if you just murder anyone who accuses you of copyright infringement.

Something along the lines of "Give us free pairing or we'll tell your customers that Netflix isn't available with your internet service." Netflix gets access, you get to... have customers.

I'm pretty sure the entire county's not worth $5.7 million. Clearly the county is just trying to more than double its value.

Son, Warner would steal your organs and sell them on the black market if they could get away with it often enough.

Damn straight! 200 years from now NPR will be playing classical rap music. The commentator will come on and be all like "That was Puff Daddy's 'Kill a Ho'... in D Minor. Coming up after the break will be Snoop Dog's 'All my Bitches,' in C. This was a very influential work at the time, in which Snoop Dog asserted that all the bitches were, in fact, his. Many other rappers at the time tried to get the bitches back, but their efforts were, ultimately, fruitless."

I predict that "Happy Birthday" will still be under copyright at the time.

At least he THOUGHT he could crush people's throats with his mind.