Bind is how old now? So does this put it back in the critical flaw lead, or is that position still held by Sendmail?

You'd still have to vote, or the wrong chimp might get in.

Don't worry, all my robots will be designed to feel bad about killing the meatbags. They'll still DO it, but they'll feel really bad about it!

Just go somewhere that sucks less. The company you're working for (Doesn't matter which one, they're all the same) would butcher you for organs if they thought it would be profitable enough. I guarantee you their marketing guys are still trying to figure out how to put a positive spin on it. You don't owe them anything, and they don't owe you anything. They understand this quite well, and you need to do the same. If you don't enjoy the part of your relationship where you get to solve neat problems and write cool code, find a job where you do enjoy those things. Or at least one that gives you enough bread that you can swallow their shit sandwich.

The last company I worked for gave us all T-Shirts left over from the "Better Days" swag bin. Then HR told us all not to wear them. "You'll make yourself a target for kidnapping," they said. So on behalf of that company, which if you're the Chinese hacker who compromised my information, you'll know who it is, please don't kidnap their employees! With their culture of ineptitude and recent public stock offering, anyone who knew how to build a thing that we were working on had long since left the company! Literally the worst thing you could do for your country's program is kidnap one of their employees! You will set your program back by a least a decade! You'd be much better off targetting Google's employees for kidnapping! Thanks for your understanding!

We're using .net on our production server, and since we implemented the new optimizer our system's been running super-fast! There's almost no load on the CPU anymore, leaving plenty for our Team Fortress server! That seems pretty optimum to me!

Oh sure! And 100,000 years later when a cubesat travelling .9999 the speed of light plows into the Dynarri ambassador's starship, guess who they'll be coming for!

Someone needs a visit from Zombie Feynman!

It'd be nice if Google could detect and downrank these sites. They should probably also do that for any site that gives you a significantly different page if it detects the google webcrawler versus any other agent. And as long as I'm asking, also pages that require Javascript to render. Downrank the lot because clicking on them is just a waste of my time anyway.

Fuck you, people with cataracts! Can you see me shooting you this bird? Boop boop boop boop boop!

I'm super-psyched about all of this, but I suspect the camera I'm going to have to bolt onto my helmet to film 3D 360 degree VR videos while flying the wingsuit is going to be nasty.

I'm SURE that if we just make the office environment JUST A LITTLE more uselessly distracting, employee efficiency will improve dramatically! I'll just sign everyone up for IT downtime and maintenance notifications for every location the company has on the planet, with no way to unsubscribe!

Yeah, that's a great idea. Think I'll trade my spot at the bottom of this gravity well for a different spot at the bottom of a significantly crappier gravity well. You might think "No problem! We'll do it as a penal colony! After they clean the joint up -- kill all the Mars spiders and Mars snakes, us civilized folks will move in!" Wrong! Those prisoners are the base of the hugely profitable prison industry and if you send 'em all off-planet, you greatly increase overall costs while losing all the extra profits from the massive recidivism rates. Nope, I was the first one to want to get off-planet as a kid, but until they come up with an idea that doesn't involve moving to some other shithole of a planet, I'm staying put!

1. Only to the extent you allow it. With a few simple steps, you can live a practically ad-free existence. If you can't be arsed, you get what you get.

2. Don't pretend you don't get something for your attention. To be effective, advertising must keep you at least mildly amused for some amount of time. Take for example, GoPro or Red Bull's ads. Not familiar with them? Go ahead and google them. I'll wait. Aaah! Almost got you! See 1. Anywhoo, some guy with their logos plastered all over him doing some amazing wingsuit stunt is both reasonably effective advertising and pretty damn entertaining. Clearly those companies think it's effective enough to keep funding it. Hell, I'd say both companies are probably better media companies than they are at making their respective products.

I recently determined that the problem with our ERP software is that it's not getting laid enough. Nothing makes it more difficult to concentrate on processing all those transactions than being all pent up like that. So on the minus side there's going to be more competition for Charlene in Marketing (And you KNOW the ERP software is a much smoother talker than you are) but on the plus side, we should start seeing a couple hundred thousand extra transactions per second as soon as this software gets installed!