on Mars would be awesome! Then I reread the headline more closely...

Judge employee performance only by meaningless metrics that can be looked up in Jira in 2 minutes, as opposed to actually looking at some the code their subordinate wrote.

I feel the need to introduce myself. I am Tony Mobily.

Yes we know who you are.

welcome our new teddy bear overlords.

+5 Funny if I had mod points...

It was actually 31 years ago. And your octal's kinda rusty.

You brought her; you poke her.

I'd bet you'd touch it if it was 20cm longer.

And put it into a pipe. Unless it's really big and nasty, then the garbage collector has to dispose of it.

Historically, Snake oil often contained high proof alcohol, narcotics, or cocaine. For McAfee anti virus to be comparable to snake oil, it has to support pornographic minecraft set to illegally downloaded music.

Capitol Hill is no place for fellons.

Like most pieces of hardware, the phallic rocket will be on top of your busy box.

"The moon blew up without warning and for no apparent reason." sounds a lot like a sci-fi version of "It was a dark and stormy night."

LG is so behind the times.

Scientists used to believe that no life would exist at the bottom of the sea around hydrothermal vents do to the kack of light, high heat, and toxic chemicals. Then they visited the hydrothermal vents in subs and found them teeming with all sorts of crazy life, violating their expectations in the most extreme way possible. Perhaps the same holds true for planets near supermassive black holes. And that that's where most of the life is in the galaxy. And that Earth is a bunch of intra-galactic hicks living out in the sticks. Which is why we haven't found any evidence of extra-terrestrial life yet.