Golden showers are the new free laundry service.

I am reminded why most lifeforms has been storing energy chemically, as opposed to electrically, for billions of years.

cat gory 5 catnado.

I was expecting Richard Stallman to type a statement from his new Macbook Pro saying: "Rock on! I have Balls The Clang, and if I LLVM was a woman and I knew how to have sex with her she would so have my baby."

I'm glad to hear that vanity, gossip, and pursuit of social status are fads that will eventually go away like skinny jeans.

touché.

Then worry about technology.

They always start out with an super-long, totally unreasonable requirements list that includes stuff that's totally irrelevant to any imaginable scope. Through hard work and negotiation and development of what you initially bring to the table, you need to bring down the client's impossible functional specification to something workable she can reasonably be satisfied with (also beer helps). It's called "game" for a reason.

"Baron Cohen Unveils New Steganography Tool DissidentX"

Flexible transistors would actually be quite useful in the burgeoning wearable electronics industry. A molex under tight-fitting spandex might be mistaken for some strange growth, a nipple, or general happiness at seeing you.

Is the new staying at Holiday Inn Express.

When you have enough resolution to zoom in and accurately reconstruct Kim Kardashian's retina and fingerprints.

You'll have trouble getting a consensus as to an agreed-upon operational definition of "Productivity".

Vernor Vinge wrote an entertaining book based around this technology.

Salespeople

- To be good in sales, you have to be able to lie to yourself about the quality of a product, because the customer will not be able to believe it's a good product unless you believe it's a good product.

- To be good in sales, you have to be able to convince yourself that a customer has a need for something that they in actuality have no need for.

- To be good in sales, you have to have the belief that "the product is awesome because I am awesome."

- To be good in sales, you have to do anything you can to get a sale

- A good sales person can sell sand to arabs and ice to eskimos.

Product Managers

- To be a good product manager, you cannot lie to yourself that a product is superior.

- To be a good product manager, you have to design a product that people will really want and really need.

- To be a good product manager, you have to be able to say "I am only decent if the product is decent".

- To be a good product manager, you have to have to be willing to push back against a change that will harm the long-term usability or usefulness of a product for everyone else at the cost of getting a short term sale for one specific customer.

- To be a good product manager, you have to make sure your company won't be selling sand to arabs or ice to eskimos, but rather selling ice to arabs to cool their drinks and sand to eskimos to give their cars traction.

With the rare exception of someone like Steve Jobs who's good at both roles, promoting an outstanding salesperson to do product management is like hiring a convicted arsonist to run your fire department. .