Favorite old joke: "When I die, I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather... not wide awake and screaming, like the 4 passengers in the car he was driving."

"who hasn't yet dumped a bucket of icy water over his or her head for charity?"

Me. Because fuck you if you think you can publicly shame me into giving money to a cause when I could name a hundred other equally worthy causes. Also, I don't brag about my charitable donations.

Sure there is a legal basis for criminal charges.

You charge the guy with "reckless driving resulting in death", instead of what might be a more serious charge, lke "reckless driving resulting in death while texting"

The guy still killed someone with his car while driving. He should still be charged.

> Read on for the rest of Bennett's thoughts

Don't! It's a trap! A long, drawn out, whiny, 6,959-word-long trap!

Guys, wake up: Soulskill and timothy are sitting on a mountain of Dice money and they have nothing better to do than troll Slashdot's millions of loyal readers, day in, day out. It's the only explanation that I can think of.

Well, it's either that, or they're a combination of retarded enough to think drivel like this is newsworthy and they don't give enough of a shit about their audience to bother to read the comments -- or if they do, they absolutely REFUSE to take them into account *cough*BETA*cough* -- but that thought is just way too depressing. I'd rather think they're malicious douchebags, than retards with keys to the kingdom. *sigh*

"This fun isn't for eager multitaskers."

Fun?!? Did you perhaps mean "phone"? I really wonder sometimes if you even read the submissions at all or do you just automatically approve every Nth one.

So much for the new corporate overlords classing up the joint any.

Let's see how Slashdot can manage to munge THIS tag up.

Good job with the <i> around "real" there, guys.

> It is hard to overeat on apples.

Wrong. Many people who want to "eat healthy" start eating lots of fruits and yes, there is such a thing as too much. I doubt I can pick the one source you'd believe so go ahead and google "too much fruit" and see what you find.

And this isn't just a case of "well duh, of course too much of *anything* is bad" -- it's pretty easy to exceed the limit. Not a worry for the average person, but for those who throw out all food and literally eat nothing but fruit (or close to it) it's a real problem. Especially if they make juice from fruit, because it's *really* easy to consume a lot of juice.

Sounds like fun. What's the best site to play it on? :D

Big brothers everywhere: "Stop hitting yourself! Stop hitting yourself!"

DIFFERENT SPECIES ARE DIFFERENT. Film at 11.

"Humans are late bloomers when compared with other primates -- they spend almost twice as long in childhood and adolescence as chimps, gibbons, or macaques do."

And since chimps, gibbons, and macaques are the dominant life forces on the planet -- what with their iPhones and running water and skyscrapers and space programs and whatnot -- it is obvious that this difference in growth is a PROBLEM that must be FIXED.

WE MUST LEANT THE SECRET OF THE MACAQUE'S POWER!

Seriously, what the blistering fuck?

Oh, duh, I didn't even catch that. OK, so it's not actively damaging, just totally worthless. :-)

I know change.org petitions are mostly worthless from the point of view of getting a meaningful response back from the government, but if you EVER want the government to take them seriously, quit using it for shit like this.

I'd have more respect for a 1st-grader using it to get his school to serve chocolate milk, than I do for this idiot wikipedia editor who thinks it's the proper venue for something like this.

Me? I'm worred too, a lot!

Another plausible but false story: "Slashdot to start supporting ÃUnicodeÃ(TM) characters"

Your post advocates a

( ) technical
( ) legislative
(x) market-based
( ) vigilante

approach to fixing the app store. Your idea will not work. Here is why it won't work.

(x) Apple is doing quite well these days, thankyouverymuch, and doesn't really give a shit how you think they should be run. (You, in general, public at large, and probably you, in particular, JLG.)

(x) Scammy developers will pay people in 4th-world countries to say their app is great.

(x) Probably a bunch more reasons that I don't have the energy to think up this second.