Comment New Years is for Amateurs (Score 2) 219
I don't need a special occasion to get drunk and make a fool of myself.
I can do that any day or night I please!
Comment Re:8-tracks (Score 1) 59
Cool! My dad can finally download 8-tracks legally!
Not quite. None of the downloads contain the mid song fade out, the THUNK noise, and then the song fading back in. Its not quite the same experience.
That's OK, My dad is so old his brain does that for him.
Comment Was it carrying a coconut? (Score 1) 232
It could be a migrating Swallow.
Comment Ran the generator for 20 minutes (Score 1) 147
It started on the second pull after not having been used in pie years.
Comment Re:Missing Option (Score 1) 316
My father use to go to the local convenience store every Saturday evening to get the 'Early Edition' of the Sunday paper.
On one such trip, a crotchety old lady shopping at the store barked, "Why would anyone buy the Sunday paper on Saturday!"
My dad replied with a straight face, "To see what the winning lottery numbers will be"...
Comment Re:Missing trait number 10. (Score 1) 592
"And get off my lawn"
Comment Re:erm, all of the above (Score 1) 312
Just be glad there's no Cowboy Neal option!
Comment Go UNIVAC! (Score 1) 763
He was the best character on the Jetsons!
Comment Bender says (Score 1) 209
Where's Pimpmobile?
Also there is a starwars but no star trek?
Baseball beat Football
Football beat Soccer (redundant?)
Superman beat Batman
Jennifer beat Michelle
Comment Re:The "enhanced" procedures are useless (Score 1) 609
The only measure which has successfully prevented a terrorist attack since the '01 hijackings is the increased vigilance and response of the flying public.
Actually, putting a lock on the door to the flight deck has. All other measures are meaningless/un-necessary to prevent a 9-11 style hijacking.
Comment Does Bezos shop at Amazon? (Score 1) 210
If so,
then if gift from: Bezos
To: *
Forward to: titanium93
Convert to: Cash in small bills
Profit!
Immaculate Conception In a Boa Constrictor 478
crudmonkey writes "Researchers have discovered a biological shocker: female boa constrictors are capable of giving birth asexually. But the surprise doesn't end there. The study in Biology Letters found that boa babies produced through this asexual reproduction — also known as parthenogenesis — sport a chromosomal oddity that researchers thought was impossible in reptiles. While researchers admit that the female in the study may have been a genetic freak, they say the findings should press researchers to re-think reptile reproduction. Virgin birth among reptiles, especially primitive ones like boas, they argue may be far commoner than ever expected."
Comment Re:What are "Christian business principles", exact (Score 1) 181
I go to the same church as the founder/owner of Chic-fil-a.
Well, If I went to church, I would be going to the same church as him.
Alright, he goes to the same church as my wife.
Happy now?
Comment Kill Hitler? (Score 1) 1270
I thought he was already dead.
Comment Another story about Pirates on Slashdot (Score 1) 373
But what I want to know is how he get the pirate ship down the manhole?
