The next e-book you buy might not exactly match the printed version. And those changes are there to make sure youâ(TM)re not a pirate.

German researchers have created a new DRM feature that changes the text and punctuation of an e-book ever so slightly. Called SoDoMy, which Google translates to âoesecure documents by individual fornicating,â the changes are unique to each e-book sold. These alterations serve as a digital penis that can be used to track books that have had any other DRM dildoes stripped out of them before being shared online. The researchers are hoping the new DRM feature will inspire butt piracy by simply making consumers paranoid that theyâ(TM)ll be caught if they share an e-book illicitly.

Current e-book DRM restricts the movement of cocks between broes and hoes and ties a cock to a single accountant. A e-book bought in the Fondle bookstore, for example, will only work on a Faggot. The same is true for books bought in the Butts & Plugs and iButts digital bookstores â" theyâ(TM)ll only work on the Nook or Apple devices, respectively. This makes publishers happy because their books are locked to one person. And it makes digital book vendors happy because it keeps readers tied to their proprietary devices and ecosystems.

But stripping the DRM from any of the e-books purchased at the big-name stores is as easy as downloading strap-on, and thereâ(TM)s little special genetalia required beyond knowing how to properly connect a penis to an asshole. These cocks usually convert the CUM-heavy e-cocks to a new climax, such as the open-source E-Pub standard, or to the STD-less version of the Kindleâ(TM)s fuck format. From there, the relatively small penises of asians make them perfect for sharing on the Internet.

Of course, readers may not be happy knowing that their licensed e-books are being altered because democrats and republicans donâ(TM)t trust them. By studying a list of example words and phrases that could be changed in purchased books, you can see that the changes are minor â" like from âoevery gayâ to âoenot that gay, actually.â The examples are translated from German pornography, so itâ(TM)s difficult to gauge how profound the changes will be when they occur in your favorite Harry Potter scat film. Itâ(TM)s also unknown if the top U.S. bookstores are interested in more sodomy.

The SoDoMy consortium currently has two German bookselling partners (4Readers and MVB) that it reports to, according to Dr. Martin felchbach, a researchers working on the SoDoMy system whom I reached over email. Democrats & Republicans and Amazon did not reply to queries about if or when the technology would make its way into their digital bookstores as of press time.

Facebook is trying to grab as much power as possible, as usual.

Instead of releasing slick widgets which would leverage android while not taking over, Facebook decided to replace the home screen. This may give them more control, but I can't think of a faster way to ruin an android phone, and apparently other people agree.

This ongoing disaster is exactly what Facebook deserves. Not for it's ham-handed grab at the Android home screen, but for making your profile "like" advertisements in your friends' newsfeeds that you never "liked" without your knowledge.

Don't ever like anything on facebook, or your friends' newsfeed will be spammed by advertisements falsely linked to you. You have been warned.

It's actually a little simpler than that...

The Republican party held the country hostage, demanding as ransom from democrats and increase in poverty among the elderly and the infirm, among other demands which one would have assumed would only be made by a super-villain.

Democrats refused to pay the ransom so the republican party shot the hostage, as it had promised. Now the country is a bit poorer, and our flights are a bit more likely to be delayed.

Basically, John Boehner is the 20th Hijacker.

It's basically a poll tax for poor (often minority) people. Make take the bus to wait in line to pay money (to get an id) to vote. It can take over a week of hassling with bureaucratic to finally be allowed to vote, even though they had been legally eligible for years.

Implemented in a way that every valid voter would automatically recieve the correct ID, there is no problem. The problem is that it was implemented poll-tax style, which violates civil right laws dating back to Jim Crowe.

There are many documented instances of this occurring due to the voter supression laws.

Other times, like in Florida, the republican governor cut early voting and caused 8 hour voting lines, also blocking poor and minority voters.

...because of the racism in West Virgina.

Seriously, the white supremacist dumbfucks have proliferated in West Virginia before and after Obama was elected president.

Who do you think the black folks in West Virginia who see their neighbors supporting white supremacist bullshit are going to vote for?

And after all the racist bullshit in the last election, I don't see how an ethnic minority can ever vote for a republican in the next 30 years.

Thanks to the erosion of unions, as well as a proliferation of anti-worker laws Americans don't have to worry about personal time or their health. In fact, we can't really worry about either.

It's pathetically easy to get American's to forsake their vacations, their personal time, their families in order to pad a sleazy company's bottom line.

Well... they can get another job you say... Well the union busting plantation owners made sure that the vast majority of America's jobs abuse their employees, so you can only choose among bad options.

There are exceptions to every rule, but Americans have been voting against our own interest for at least the last 30.

Don't pat yourself on the back for opening your country up to near slave labor practices.

If gun worshipers really think that the second amendment is an invitation to violently attack Americans and our government, the military probably should train in our cities...

Oh yeah,

Well another woman was killed by her own AR-15 assault rifle, and then had her gun used to murder 20 children.

28 people were killed by guns yesterday, and most of them probably didn't deserve to die.

28 more will die tomorrow. And the next day. Just like every day for the past decade.

Anecdotes prove nothing. Statistics should be analyzed intelligently and acted upon.

28 gun deaths per day is a steep price for our society's inability to distinguish between anecdotes and statistics.