A company party that I didn't go to ended with the supervisors being shit-faced drunk, the vice president taking off his pants to dance on the table in fish net stockings, and one of the directors throwing money at the PR girls to get them to take off their clothes. That made for a fun highlight video at the monthly company meeting, as those who were drunk didn't remember a damn thing and were quite horrified to see themselves up on the screen.

I tried that with a woman one time. The worst that could happen, my friends told me, was that she would say no. Actually, no wasn't the end but the beginning. She started a harassment campaign that lasted ten years. O_o

I don't play office politics, but I do document everything. Something that several of my bosses found out the hard way when they tried to throw me under the bus. HR loves a paper trail.

FTFY

I've been working for the government for a year and my contract was extended for another year. The majority of the technical staff is white. Everyone starts work at 7:00AM and out the door at 3:30PM. Slackers find themselves on the unemployment line in a hurry regardless of their race.

The company drunks ran the company into the ground. I watched my stock shares go from $20 to $0.02 in two years.

That was the very first advice that my first boss gave me when I started working at the college bookstore. Served me well over the years.

Hiding in your mother's basement gets old after a while, especially if you turned 50 and your mother passed away. I'm helping a friend make that difficult transition into the big blue room with the bright light.

Watch my boss get arrested because he got caught letting an underage employee take a sip from his Kamikaze at a company event being hosted at a restaurant. Did the company fire him? Nope, they promoted him. I stopped going to company events where alcohol got served and got branded for not being a team player by the company drunks..

That advice doesn't work so well in personal relationships.

Sounds like a Fortune 500 company I worked for in Silicon Valley. The company is unwilling to train employees to get certified because they might leave and make more money at a competitor. Never mind that employees are training themselves to get certified and leaving the company to make more money at a competitor because of the lack of training. While the best and the brightest are leaving, the unmotivated employees are becoming more entrenched in management and discouraging others from getting certified. Corporate dysfunction at its best.

The enemy of my enemy is my friend.

I thought BASIC programming died years ago.

I always though a black hole was shaped like a bathtub drain in space.

Not when you hit the event horizon.