What, the waterproof lightweight ones that take up less room in my wallet (which I'm already carrying) than a bunch of other items (including cards that lack payment functionality)?
In return I just need to carry a ã500 device, keep it charged, keep it dry, avoid physical impact and not break it?
Dumb argument. People who use Apple Pay were already carrying their iphones around. Nobody is expecting someone who had no desire to own an iphone to suddenly start carrying one just to use Apple Pay. And yes, having one less card to carry around is a bonus.
4) It eliminates magnetic swiping.
Nah, don't do that here.
5) It eliminates signing.
Nah, don't do that here.
6) It eliminates showing driver's licenses.
Nah, don't do that here.
7) It eliminates entering zip codes.
Nah, don't do that here.
Yeah, some people have to do all of those.
Your problem seems to be that you are utterly unable to comprehend another person's point of view. You don't have to deal with x, therefore x must be a non-issue.
So wait? I have to unlock the phone? And that's somehow quicker or easier than entering a PIN? Ok.
Yes, it's both quicker and easier than entering a PIN for most people. Compare 5 or more strokes on a keypad vs. placing your thumb on the Home button. And it's less error-prone (you may be a world-class keyboard cruncher with 100% accuracy, but many people are not and sometimes they hit the wrong key while entering a PIN and have to start over again)