That's quite a loaded statement.

Business buggery is not the only reason you might not get the advertised speed.

First of all, ISPs advertise "up to" a specific speed, which means that's the maximum bandwidth you're allowed.

It doesn't state or imply that you'll receive that speed consistently.

It means that, assuming the network is capable of that speed, if you were capable of getting higher speeds you'd be capped at that speed.

I would have thought this would be the elephant in the room, but maybe I'm the only one missing it:

Company takes in a five million dollar funding round.

Company promises to never make a profit.

How are they going to pay back the funding?

What exactly is the company that paid the money "investing" in if the recipient company never plans to get money from their "customers"?

People not only expect to have ice, but are complaining that the lines are too long... ...In the middle of the desert.

The lines are too long. For ice. In the middle of the desert.

What the actual fucking fuck.

In a perfect world that would be exactly what the data would be used for.

I worked in tech support for many years and I can tell you that one of two things happens with this diagnostic data:

1. It's aggregated and used for analysis to identify priority problems based on keywords. This almost never happens even when companies say they are doing it. In fact, most of the bugs (even at Microsoft) are cherry picked by programmers who work on whatever bug they feel like in whatever order seems best to them unless it's a priority zero bug.

2. It goes into a database that nobody ever looks at. This one is much more common. You see, the "report a problem" feature doesn't exist for customers to actually get information about their problem to the company that makes the software. If that was how it worked, you'd need a staff of hundreds of support personnel working round the clock doing nothing but processing problem reports. The "report a problem" feature serves to give the user a feeling that someone will see their problem and that they'll be working on it, so the user won't call tech support. As a result the software company can save money on support rep hours.

New submitter poseur writes:

hey guyz get this new crypto for your puterz!!

-TOTALLY NOT DHS

Take this from a guy who saw someone go through a trial for doing The Very Bad Thing:

You will give them the password.

This is how it works:

"If you give us the password and let us prove you're innocent we'll let you go. If there's anything in there that would prove you guilty we'll reduce the sentence. If you don't give us the password and we have to crack the encryption ourselves and we find out you're guilty, you're going away for a very long time."

And then of course you give them the password, they find enough evidence to make you guilty and they don't reduce the sentence.

They just inflate the original sentence to a much worse sentence, and then deflate it to the level they were going to hit you with anyways.

The only time a mathematician every has an orgasm.

How is it even legal for GlaxoSmithKlein to own LITERS of polio?

People still use 3G?

Angry computer nerds gathering up their toys and going to play by themselves in the corner because someone decided to play in a way they deemed unacceptable.

In before "cameragate".

So now the Internet is complaining that the wifi access points they're totally not going to use because comcast is morally wrong to share your broadband without your permission is injecting ads into the experience. How do you know?

It's a thinly veiled ad for a supposedly "secure" cell phone.