Yes, I know you were trolling, but in your mythical 7-bit-clean English, even if you're not using English letters like ð or , or ligatures like æ , or distinguishing between short and long S's (you know, the s you used to think were f's), how do you put diaeresis marks over words like cooperate, or distinguish between m-dash and n-dash and hyphen, or get the left- and right-side quotation marks without using some Microsoft or Apple ``smart quote'' breakage, much less deal with accent marks in words of foreign origin that are now part of English because we stole them fair and square and they're ours now, or handle degree marks, or words with superscript letters like the abbreviations for the and that and George and Your, or ...
And turning them all into leet-speak, like earlier Ye Olde Hwaetever's, just doesn't count.