I can't help myself, I have to reply. My experience has been very similar. My son was diagnosed with autistic disorder at age 20 months Five months later and after 3 months of intensive ABA intervention with a talented teacher, he is just getting his first words. He has never once looked me in the eye and said "daddy." I'm still not sure if the two or three occasions when he's said "daddy" were intentional or not. I count myself lucky because he is affectionate. I know many autistic children do not like physical contact.
Receiving a diagnosis for your child is terrible, but it's not something an informed parent would avoid. As worried as I am now, I know that without the diagnosis my son's future would be much worse.
I can completely understand why parents might wish for a cancer diagnosis instead. With cancer, at least there is the potential for a cure, and ultimately there will be resolution. I can only describe the past year as a process of continual heartbreak, and I really don't see a light at the end of that tunnel.
Dealing with insurance has been a nightmare for us as well. For example, our medical group evaluated my son and recommended speech therapy; however they had no openings (only two therapists on staff for a major urban area, one working one day a week!), and the wait time was "indefinite." After filing a formal complaint we were given appointments with a therapist who was not experienced with young autistic children. The results were predictable.
Our insurance "problem" will soon resolve, as I will soon be unemployed and we won't be able to afford COBRA for long. Instead of relocating to stay with family, we plan to live off savings for as long as possible simply to keep our son in his ABA program.
As for the article: I'm a scientist, my wife is an engineer. But Baron-Cohen's theories of autism seem to be shot down every decade or so. There's a selection effect at work here, so I'm cautiously skeptical.
AC, I hope you get your "papa, up" soon. I'm still waiting for mine to smile at me and say "daddy" when I get home from work.