So I'm putting oil into my vehicle and I glance at the radiator. And there's a bunch of little termite looking bugs swarming all over the top of it. I check a couple days latter and they're still there. There's no signs of them inside the vehicle. They seem to live in or on my radiator.

I just got the Civ IV expansions and I am installing them now. Let me just say that the first new leader I'm playing as is going to be Stalin. A rather obvious choice given my user name. They appear to only have allied WWII leaders. I guess Hitler's just a wee bit too hot to include as a playable character. In the whole game now, they've got Churchill, De Gaulle, Stalin and Roosevelt as leaders.

These are what I have observed needs changing. All but the last two represent things which have deteriorated as my depression and apathy have increased. I just want to record them.

1. Reacquire the near-obsessive sense of order and neatness in the three primary environments in my life: my work area, my living area, and my transportation.

2. Resume an active role in grooming. Keep hair trimmed and facial hair un-UnABomberesque. Possibly regrow the handle bar mustache.

3. Consult my physician and get back on the blood-pressure and anti-anxiety medications.

4. Reduce alcohol consumption to a rational level. Remove alcohol as a consumption-based refuge.

5. Improve diet. Eat at scheduled intervals, regardless of whether I am hungry. Currently, I only eat when I am hungry, which is not very often.

6. Quit dipping and/or smoking.

7. Begin exercising regularly.

8. Reintroduce color and variation into my wardrobe.

9. Purchase a new vehicle. I'm badly in need of one, as the current one is on its last leg.

10. Locate a suitable mate and become involved in a long-term, preferably monogamous relationship. This one may take longer than a year, as it is outside of my complete control. (It requires the consent of another party) Also, I would like to accomplish at least a few of the previous goals before this one.

I got me a stapler.

Showing the stapler to people, I had an uncharacteristic level of joy. Someone asked "You're not going to burn the place down are you?"

It's sad that the highlight of the last year (at least) is an office supply.

And a 20 pack of Expo Dry Erase Markers. I've always felt compelled to have the most complete set of writing utensils I could reasonably expect to afford.

It's part of a ten-goal plan, most of which should be implemented within the year. The recent events with my relative have caused a lot of thought. And by my reckoning the clearing at the end of my current path was not a pleasant one, and I would reach it by my own hand eventually. Rationality breaks down under constant pressure, and I could no longer honestly say that my current obstacles to self-termination could be maintained. So, I've implemented a series of changes. I reckon I should make a note of what they are and post them.

The first is reacquiring the near-obsessive sense of order and neatness in the three primary environments in my life: my work area, my living area, and my transportation.

The universe is God's Shrinky-Dink. It captured his imagination at first. Then it got real old, real fast.

I'm helping a friend by tutoring. The course work is in electronic format. She is trying to get her printer to work, and I'm no hardware person. After numerous failed attempts to get it up and running. She asks me if I have any suggestions.

Sure. You're background image is kind fo gaudy. Maybe if you changed it, the printer would work.

But that's not even related!

She changed the background image. And the printer started working.

She seemed angry even though the printer was working.

I have a history of making stupid suggestions to computer problems that have no relevence to the task at hand that work.

Well, I got a call from a cousin that I haven't heard from in ages. He was not doing very well. I won't go into what the problems are. Not my place. He mentions suicide as a solution.

Me: Wiat a moment. You know I'm not the one to talk to about that.

Him: No. I'm talking to you because you won't try to talk me out of it.

Me: That's not entirely true. I will caution you to carefully consider the ramifications of your actions and the hurt you will cause others, and yourself should you survive the attempt.

Him: I will.

Me: Do you remember how you felt when (name withheld) offed himself? [a cousin in common]

Him: Yeah.

Me; That's how everyone'll feel, except some will feel it worse about this than you felt about that. I don't condone the action. I would rather you didn't do it. But that's not my call. Everyone takes their own path.

Then we exchanged departing pleasantries. And based upon the esitmated timeline I recieved from my mother a couple days later, he consumed an over-dose level of drugs almost immediately after the phone call.

He survived. He's institutionalized. I have yet to speak with him since the incident.

I dislike life at times.

About two weeks ago a colleague and I were converted from contractor to permanent employee. I've been working at this place for about two years, and I'm told this conversion is a good thing. The benefits like insurance, vacation, and 401K-type crap are improved. My salary saw what I would consider a considerable boost (This raise equaled my first salary about ten years ago). And because of the discrepancies in the way each employer handles payroll, I got paid for one week of my new job's pay plus my last two weeks of my old job's pay plus the pay for the unconsumed vacation time I had accrued in the two years. So I got the rough equivalent of six weeks pay this pay period.

Unfortunately, this coincides with a reduction in the contract for the firm with whom I was previously employed; and some folks got let go. It's sad because I got along fairly well with those who were laid off. I'm just glad I didn't make a big deal about my conversion.

I got to go through orientation. I got the Kool-aid presentation and a tour of the facilities in which I have been working for the last couple years. I'm recognized by virtually everyone (even if not recognized by name) so almost everywhere the group went there was someone who greeted me by name. The new hires thought that was amusing and asked if I had a fan club or something. The human resources person asked me if I was exited about starting with the company. Most of the time I answer questions honestly without thought about expectations of response or the desired response by the inquirer (I've got a reputation in my department for that and as a result am consulted by some superiors when they want an answer without the rainbows and sunshine that were supplied to make them feel better) I responded "No." When asked why I wasn't exited I explained that my duties were not really going to change. I'm pleased with the transition as it does mean improved compensation and a reduction of the paperwork that I would have to fill out, but I wouldn't use the term exiting. I'm excitement-impaired.

That's pretty much what has changed recently. I hope this finds those who read in good health and decent spirits.

The other day the topic of that story came up. People around the office seem to enjoy getting my opinion on things. I think some people like bitter and cynical observations.

I told them that I think the problem with that story is that peoples' sense of self-importance makes everybody who reads that identify with Bergeron...Especially people who read Vonnegut.

Then someone says "Hey! I like Vonnegut!"

Don't make me report you to the handicapper general.

*laughter*

I wasn't joking.

Why not have a federal holiday on election day?

Iron Man movie: I thought it was entertaining. I liked the allusion to future character inclusion.

Jim Jones: I did not know that Reverend Jones sold monkeys door-to-door. I wasn't even aware that there was such a profession. I can't really imagine how that worked out.

I play the lottery on occasion. I just checked my ticket from Wednesday's drawing and it turned out that all of my numbers were exactly one higher than the numbers from the drawing.

I'm not normally the kind of person to do the whole "well if only this number would have been different I would have won $X" thing.

So I share this infomration with a coworker. They respond "Wow. What're the odds of that happening?"

"Umm. The same odds as winning."

"Oh. That sucks."

soap box, ballot box, jury box, ammo box.

But there's a fifth that gets left off.

Pine box.

This is good. For about a year (since I changed employer and thus became subject to standard overhead fluorescent lighting) I've had a nearly debilitating migraine by the end of every day. The sunglasses that I owned at the time let in too much light from around the edges of the lenses. Unfortunately, I require corrective lenses to see. I also am fairly neglectful when it comes to keeping my prescription up to date. But I finally got around to getting my prescription updated and found a pair of goggles that I liked.

I got them from Optics Planet. I found them to be quite helpful. They promptly answered all of my questions. They even sent a trial pair so I could try them on before finalizing my order. I'm quite pleased with the Wiley-X SG-1 model that I purchased. It took a couple weeks to adjust to the gaskets and the reduced air circulation around the eyes, but it's well worth it in exchange for headache-free days. It has detachable ear prong things that can replace the head strap, but they are not as serviceable in glasses form as they are with the head strap. For one, the head strap keeps the goggles snugly in place. For another the nose piece doesn't work quite perfectly for keeping the goggles in place for very long. The lenses are removable, and there are many different varieties. I got a set of clear, mirrored and yellow.

So now it's been some months since anyone at work has seen my eyes. And since there's been a bit of turnover, there are people I work with who have never seen my eyes. I think in may be somewhat off-putting to people not in my group, but only one higher up has made any kind of negative remark about sunglasses indoors violating dress-code. But this was retracted when it came to light that they're pretty much medically necessary and an understanding was reached.

How did you decide what country to move to and what region/state within that country?