If Xbuntu has a fighting chance, I imagine you should feel quite comfortable letting the market decide.
Xubuntu is Ubuntu with Xfce on top, backed by Canonical. It would have a chance were it not for abusive contracts with Microsoft that all major laptop producers other than Apple sign.
I doubt they have the unity needed to appeal to commercial vendors.
They have "Unity", just not the right kind. In fact, the kind of "Unity" that Canonical has been pushing on Ubuntu since late 2011 is why I switched from Ubuntu to Xubuntu in the first place.
Before KCET dropped their PBS affiliation (an idiotic move, but that's another topic)
What are they affiliated with now? Konami Computer Entertainment Tokyo?
Why can't you just go up on your roof and mount a VHF/UHF antenna?
It could be technically the landlord's roof, not mmell's.
there wasn't any sort of demo up front [...] Likewise the indy titles that had a demo
What do you mean by "demo"? Is a video of 10 minutes of gameplay enough, or is a downloadable Windows binary necessary? Not all game genres are ideal for the desktop or the touch screen, and someone might be using a KS campaign to determine whether to go through a console maker's developer qualification process.
Most folks cannot be bothered to learn a new UI just to browse the web, write documents, and send email.
Let's face it. Windows 8 has been a failure. Even something like KDE Plasma Desktop or Xfce feels more like Windows 9x through 7 than Windows 8's Start Screen and "immersive" apps do.
Let's just say I got my Grandma a tux laptop purely out of principal. What window manager should I set her up on? Gnome? KDE? XFCE?
When my grandma's Windows XP got trashed by fake AV that I couldn't remove normally, I just rescued her files, put on Xubuntu, and called it a day.
It would be hell trying to teach my grandma how to apt-get
Which is why modern distributions include a GUI for package installation and updating.
or how to escalate permissions to super user.
You don't need to. Apple had the equivalent of sudo in OS X even before Microsoft taught people how to "Cancel or Allow" in Windows Vista.
With analog you have a gradual variation in quality and can tweak your antenna to get it as good as you can. With digital if your reception is on the edge you get [...] multi-second breakups
Better receivers, such as the box I bought in the coupon era, have a button on the remote that pops up a signal strength meter. I don't know whether that just means raw level of the signal or the actual SNR, but it has helped me aim the antenna to minimize signal dropouts.
Don't use your own machine, use a honeypot
I F with them using Xubuntu 14.04 "Trusty Tahr" on my own laptop. Not one of those furriners has managed to make his way through my Xfce install over the phone, even if I do humor them by opening the applications menu when they ask for the Start button.
goat machine
I hope you don't mean goat machine.cx.
This restaurant was advertising breakfast any time. So I ordered french toast in the renaissance. - Steven Wright, comedian