>Finding a safe and realistic place to rest is integral to the role playing experience.
I disagree; it's certainly the historic D&D experience but it's hardly the stuff heroic fantasy is made of. Sure, heroes in the dungeon find a spot to catch their breath, find some clues, and prepare some weapons, but actually go to sleep? Neither I nor any of my players have ever found a way where that makes sense, and it's only ever been by the grace of the DM that the dungeon denizens didn't simply break in and knife us all during the night.
I assume any party sleeping in a dungeon would be sensible enough to post a guard.
Four encounters plus exploration is maybe two hours of in-game time.
If you're going through a dungeon at that rate, the DM is not making things interesting enough. And are you really telling us that after a fight which has everybody taking a lot of hits and the subsequent healing, you assume your party needs no further rest? That's nuts, even for heroic characters.
>Any new player trying to pull the "I'm out of spells, we need to go home" act is met with scorn for not being able to handle the responsibilities of their class (okay not outwardly, but they're not invited back if it becomes a regular event).
The game is calibrated so that one encounter is supposed to consume 1/4 of the party's resources, and that includes spells. 4 encounters a day. If the spellcaster is making it to the forth encounter before running dry, then it's not bad resource management; he's managed his resources in precisely the way the game expected him to.
The game expects him to try to make it to the end of the day. 4 fights/day is typical, but not absolute. It is his responsibility to tell the group his status frequently, not just to wait until he's out of spells.
The game demands that the party pack it in for the night. It's just bad game design,
No it doesn't. "The game" does not demand anything. If you really think so, switch to something other than D&D that's more suited to your needs.
But the idea of a character who forces or holds the attention of a dangerous combatant to set allies up for sneak attacks,
You really need to focus on othe feats.
There's no game in searching for traps, it's just a skill roll vs. a DC. There's nothing tactical about it.
Of course there is. You have to decide where to search for traps, don't you? When you're on the clock -- the enemy armies are about to invade and you need the Hammer of Doom(tm) -- you need to decide whether to search for traps or to gamble that there aren't any or you will be able to survive the results.
