"Only because people keep trying to shove things into init that don't belong there" - that must be because those "shoved things" are needed for some reason
The question is whether they need to be in PID 1, or in a process PID 1 can't live without, and the answer is no, that is not the Unix way. That is the Windows way.
"It didn't need it." - it obviously does hence the emergence of replacements like Launchd, upstart, systemd
Launchd is not Linux software. Launchd is universally hated by all those with experience with it, so that is a self-defeating argument, thanks for using it. Please bring up SMF next. upstart does not have the interlocking web of requirements that systemd does.
You must be lucky on Debian.
It's not luck, it's foresight. I use it only for servers, so none of the software I run depends on systemd, and I have pinned systemd back so that it can't be installed even if I upgrade. And I am still running wheezy, and will keep doing that right up until Devuan becomes viable, or I give up and jump to something else.
My desktop is still running Ubuntu on the rare occasion that I boot into Linux any more. All the fighting and bullshit since systemd became a thing has kept me pretty solidly in Windows 7, about 95% of the time. In fact, I finally went so far as to pay for a Windows 7 license because windows "just works" while various forces keep breaking my Linux. Literally the only thing that works better on Linux any more is driver support. If I want to use my scanner, which I got cheap because Canon abandoned support from it from their driver for Windows 7 and later even though they are still using the same protocol, I have to boot Linux. But that's not Microsoft's fault, it's Canon's. I know of no scanner manufacturer which is not a complete fucking piece of shit about this.