Then stop trying? Clearly you have too many Windows related requierments.
It takes me about 2 hours to go from Format, to fully running Linux Distro, with browsers, drivers, office software, chat software, and several other things that I need.
If you don't want to take the time to learn a new system, and find the tools you need, then go use Windows where you are happy. Do you remember the first time you ever installed Windows. Was it all happy and great and everything worked? No, I'm sure it took you some time to learn it too. Now that you've been using it for a few years, you say its easy and you know what you need for it. Same thing happens with Linux. Its not like the linux people just magically installed the OS and knew everything form day one.
I've been using Linux, alongside Windows, for almost 6 years now, and obviously at first it was a challenge. But with practice, and patience, it now works great.
Now, again, if you don't have the time or willingness to invest in learning a new Operating System, then don't try, and complain about how its not usable.
Just like learning any new skill(and using an operating system effectively is a skill in my opinion), it takes Time, Interest, and Effort.
If you have hardware issues, that another story, but personally i have not had any hardware issues since Ubuntu 8.04 on my thinkpads or PCs.
I admit i run XP in a wmware session on my Linux laptop, but that for things such as outlook and Office, and the rest of my tasks are done in Linux, and many of them couldn't be done in Windows. To each his own :)