Am I really conceited? I guess that I am, but I do believe I have good reason. I mean its moronic people who make up almost all of mankind, and thats really annoying. Really annoying in fact. Once I thought I could trust other people, once I thought they could realize my sarcasm. But unfortunately not anymore. I am far too sarcastic for people to even bother to understand. I mean dammit when I proclaim myself the creator of everything wouldn't you think that I was being sarcastic. 'But of course,' you say. And the reason you say this is because you read Slashdot. (Which is a good thing) But anyhow everyone has had these experiences with the morons of our world who think 'if someone is smarter than me, they're conceited.' I mean if you are smarter why not use it in everyday life?
I just don't understand why in public I am chastised for using the type of Slashdot/Nerd humor I use on the net. I mean, if you don't understand my humor why do you bother talking to me? Then how can you have the audacity to go off and call me out on the way I act? I just don't understand...

Tuesday March 4, 2003 9:45 am
Since February is Black History month, an African-American I admire is Malcolm X because he had the ability to rise up and overcome strife. He was able to conquer losing both his mother and father and to rise up and spread his ideas. Too bad he lived during the era of Hoover. Therefore he was killed to prevent the spread of his social disease.
        You know the problem I have with typing my thoughts down is that I think too fast and therefore I can't type as fast as I can think. Also, I have a problem with thinking about things I have little knowledge about therefore I could easily make a fool of myself. Like I'd love to talk about Hoover here, but I have no concrete evidence about what he did and therefore I cannot digress. However I shall digress about socialism and other ramblings that make me unhappy or things I just like to complain about.
        TV in America is one of the worst things ever to be invented. I do not know the location that it was invented, but due to our almost vulture like reliance on it the US most certainly would have to be the country of origin. In America we have probably 20 news channels. In America we have live coverage of our political representatives. In America we have channels dedicated to sports, music, and comedy. What happened to the days of the big three? What happened to quality programming? Why do people have shows named after themselves?
        In the olden days (at least I am told) there were four networks; ABC, NBC, CBS, and PBS. In the olden days the weather was the first thing on the local news. In the olden days if the president was on that's what you watched. In the olden days things were better.
        You watched programs that promoted good things such as diversity. This was promoted through Star Trek with the bi-racial crew. You watched good clean comedy on programs such as The Brady Bunch and Green Acres and Lets Make a Deal. The worst television on was probably the Twilight Zone and that just because it dealt with paranormal ideas. The children of these generations never had to deal with the bare midriff's of Christina Aguilera and Britney Spears. Oh no, they didn't have to listen to staunchly republican Bill O'Reilly. And certainly the only reality TV they dealt with was the $64,000 Question. They weren't posed with shows that promote promiscuity, lying, and alcohol abuse.
        Now with the third generation of TV in existence, their parents have been exposed to enough TTV (Trash Television) that they no longer ask questions about their children's friends and what activities they partake in. That would be un-TTV, and since we (the parents) put our children in front of the babysitter each day, we cannot ask questions about our children for fear the babysitter has taught them asking questions is not cool. And since social status with simple words such as 'cool' and 'dirty' are the way little Junior thinks, we better keep him 'cool' or else he'll be shunned by his friends.
        Thursday March 6, 2003 9:40 am
        My favorite childhood memory is... will be graduating of course. I will finally be able to leave the pathetic high school life. Maybe in college I'll actually accomplish something rather than run around in circles like I have in high school. What makes me mad is the friends I had in junior high are all of a sudden my friends that I keep closest during the end of my high school days. The new people that I met in high school never did or tried to do anything as in a friendship. I mean, I would give myself and devote myself, but it never mattered. Therefore I find my true friends are the ones who are still there from middle school. Forget these shallow individuals of high school. Its like, 'Oh man, he wears those clothes? I can't talk to him.' But it's not really like that. Its much more complicated, you have to act just a certain way. You have to condone illicit activities you have to do all of this BS if you want to be popular. But I have realized that being popular is just a waste of time. I'd much rather be a passive observer criticizing the things people do rather than help them. It's just so much more fun and is much more entertaining especially when mocking people right in front of their faces. The best is when people don't understand that you're mocking them. But, who am I kidding? Anyone who reads things such as these will say I come from a bad home life or high school is just like that. Both are true, but you see high school should be nothing like it is today. We should have uniforms, block scheduling, and much stricter rules. Also, we need a more proficient effort from the 'know-it-all' administrators to eliminate cliques and to take a more proactive stand against illicit activities before, during, and after structured school times. Now my opponents will say it is not the responsibility of the school to be a 'parent.' Alas, if we let the parents do the 'parenting' they will only place little Junior in front of the tele and let him make his own decisions about what to and what not to do in high school. Therefore, we need some sort of agency or government run parenting institution. This would be in the best interests of our nation if it wishes to continue existence. Rather than face the alternative of future generations not caring about the nation and therefore turning the US into an almost anarchist state. But then again, I know nothing I'm only in highschool.
        Tuesday March 11, 2003
        My extreme weakness is trusting people. It takes years to be able to trust. I do 'trust' some people. But hardly do I ever trust everyone with everything. People are rather backstabbing and it makes me mad that people do that. One second you'll have a friend you 'trust' then the next this person will rip you apart with the information you've entrusted them with. Such is the life of high school and I cannot wait until college and the rest of my career so that I'll have more steady and trustworthy friendships. I know quite well that anything I do and most of the people I meet in high school will be lost or disregarded ten years down the road. I'll be lucky to keep in touch with possibly five of my classmates. And those I would possibly think about doing this with are my 'geek' friends. I once had them then I decided to join the backstabbing circle. I soon learned it was worthless. So now I am back in the beginning and I like where I am. Soon I'll go off to college and hopefully I'll be able to be involved and not have to live with the worry about what I say and whether or not it'll come back to haunt me. Generally I guard what I say very closely for this fact alone. I know that if I openly spew things about it allows the vultures of society to gobble me up. Anyhow...
        I found the best website in the world thanks to my friend Dan. Its address is www.slashdot.org no, it's nothing offensive. Rather it's a geek portal. It's a large conglomeration of geeks who get online and talk about current issues. It's quite interesting and I enjoy reading things about geeks. Well written by geeks. Oh well.
        I was reading about interplanetary travel this weekend from a link on that website. Anyhow, the article talked about the easiest (as in least work) ways to travel to other planets. The problem lies in the amount of fuel one can carry to get to these other planets. You cannot just take off straight away from earth because it would take to much fuel to get out of the earth's gravitational pull. NASA already does this 'slingshot' method. Anyhow, what one needs to do is go into orbit around earth to gain momentum to therefore be able to leave the earths gravitational pull. The thing about this article is that it addressed the gravitational fields represented by L1-L5 each having its own strength and distance from the sun. Obviously the farther you are away from any object the less amount of 'gravity' or pull it has on you. This even happens on earth between every object with mass. The problem is that to model how these forces interact it is extremely complicated mathematically. I mean you can easily (relatively speaking) measure two object's gravitational attraction, but throw in five or six and it becomes (you guessed it) complicated. So, to accurately find the actual amount of fuel required for interplanetary travel would be hard and, it would take more time to travel because you are spending time in orbit around planets rather than heading to your destination in a direct line. So, until we can generate an infinite amount of energy from very little mass there is little possibility of interplanetary travel. (In theory remember, to travel the speed of light requires an infinite amount of energy.)
        I do someday in the future foresee interplanetary travel, but some major issues that are limiting it need to be addressed and those may take a long period of time to address. This being because they are complicated and our technology is not advanced enough.
        Thursday March 13, 2003 935 AM
        Write about your family and who they are... Yes my family, I have one. Aside from that I tend to not see them much per se. Rather, I see them, but not that much, maybe 30 minutes per day. Otherwise I am in my room asleep, playing computer, or Slashdotting.
        Slashdotting you ask what is it? Well, it is the ultimate waste of time. It is the nerds place to find information. But most of all, it is a portal of semi-useless information I like to keep up on. Anyhow, it is a forum where nerds post information about numerous topics ranging from science to the obvious computer technology. But it emphasizes a positive feedback type of area. They have a program that tracks how much you post and how much you visit the site. Also what you post can be 'modded' up or down depending on how good of a post it is. But, anyhow... you post things and either get chastised or get many mod points. The problem with this is that my friend Dan recently sent me to this site, and now it is using all of my time that I need to do homework and such. But I guess I am senior it is only natural after all.
        When I was little I had a Winnie-the-Pooh blanket. Yep and a bear of no relevance at all. Other than that I had a bed and slept there. Unfortunately I moved and everything changed and most of the time I'd rather forget living in Waverly, as it was a horrible house and a horrible place to live in general.
        But, this had a different impact on my life because this was the time where I began to realize the way humans think. The way they don't bother to talk to the different people, the way they can easily shun people without actually thinking about it. And, soon the contempt came and luckily I was able to move soon after this to a new place with new people, somewhat more open people, but now I see it's going to happen again. But this time, the people will be willing to make friends because now people realize they have no choice. This time things will be different.
        Write a letter to a former teacher thanking him or her...
Dear Mr. Campbell,
        Thank you for giving me the chance to learn the way that math truly works. For years I have been subjected to teachers not caring or bothering to tell me how things work in reality. But suddenly it all came together this year, how I wish I could stay and learn more. But the truth is that until this year I haven't given much of a hoot about math, taking it as it came and in general just putting it off. Unfortunately only once in a lifetime will I be able to learn from a great teacher. Thank you for all of your hard work.

Feb. 13 925am
        Everything I needed to learn I learned from Sun Tzu. Perplexing it is, but that's all right by me. I don't really know if I've ever learned everything from one certain place or person or thing (noun). Rather I learn a lot of things from several places and several things and several people (several nouns). I do like Abraham Lincoln though, he was a good guy. Too bad I wasn't around to meet him. He led with such vigor it practically killed him off physically. He was out of the White House more than he was in it most of his presidency and he probably lost several years of his life due to the struggle of the war had he been able to live out his life.
        I want to make a movie. Why I don't really know. I think a documentary about my life would be fun to make. Just for no reason. It would also be fun if I had an actor play my part wouldn't that be great. This reminds me of a good movie I watched again last weekend, its called Requiem For a Dream and it is about drug use and the twisting downward path that only they bring. The movie is directed by Darren Aronofsky and is based on the book by the same name.
        Aronofsky also directed another film simply titled Pi but it is in the mathematical notation. And that movie is about a man who has a psychological defect that makes him a mathematical genius. He is trying to find a pattern for the stock market.
In both films Aronofsky superbly uses sound effects as segues into other scenes. He is also able to make the movie seem as though the viewer is on drugs and misses some parts. This may just be because Pi is only 80 minutes long, but the feeling is much the same.
Its kind of funny because I watched Requiem after I got my wisdom teeth pulled and so I was on drugs watching it. I was on Vicodin, which is an outstanding pain-killer if you ever need some. But, I myself was semi conscious in my darkened room watching a bunch of movies. And most of these movies were pretty bad, but since I was so out of the loop why I just didn't care and I thought they were all really good.
I am kind of disappointed in Hollywood Video though. They have the first and third seasons of the Soprano's, but not the second! I have watched the first and my oh my I liked that a lot. But I cant just jump straight to the third. Oh well.

I truly love... You actually think I'm going to tell you? I have no idea really what to think about this. There are things I like a lot, but nothing I really love. I like to be busy and such, I like to be challenged, I like football, I like food. I could go on, but I'll stop. I guess maybe I'm not capable of love, who knows? I really don't for sure.
Now I am out of ideas. I wonder how I am going to write nine more pages when I have exhausted most of my topics as of yet. But, have no fear ideas galore just popped into my head. Yea... but, who knows what I'll do or write. I am sure something can spur the gears in my head. (You think that's only an expression.)

2/7/03 925am
        My favorite class of all time is a perplexing question to me. I really don't know what my favorite class is but thus far into calculus I enjoy it much more than I have any other class. The reasons I enjoy it are because it provides me with a way to put into use all the math I have learned previous to this class. It used to be that I thought math was relatively pointless as much of the concepts we learned had no bearing on the next ideas we were taught. But, in calculus it is quite different we are able to use almost every idea that we have been taught in the past four to five years.
        Calculus is heralded as the most creative human invention ever. Which it is, I can easily see numerous applications of the concepts we are learning in calculus in daily life. Well, not in an average persons life that they themselves would use. But rather the things around us, our computers, our cars, most to all of our material goods have been engineered using some calculus technique.
        One part of calculus is the mystique it brings with it. When a person says calculus most people shudder and try to not talk about it. This is possibly because they are not willing to accept the power which is contained in things like derivatives, anti-derivatives, and many other concepts.
        Unfortunately most people don't know, or are ignorant to the fact how important calculus really is in our society. Hopefully this sentiment will not affect the progress in our society in the future.

        My biggest pet peeve is people rescinding on what they say. Its not that hard to keep ones word and to break it should be like breaking the Ten Commandments. (That reminds me of 'The History of the World Pt. 1') But anyhow, it just bugs me when people say that they do one thing, but in reality they do quite the opposite. How are you supposed to gain trust from someone when you do not even keep your word? Just something that bugs me.

        Quite interesting that the next topic is one about something that would probably cause me to rescind on my own word. And the Golden Rule States that I should 'treat others like I want to be treated.' I will say that it is probably impossible to always do what you say, but in answer to the prompt. I can't believe I said... I don't know. I really have no idea what I would regret to say. If I did regret something it would probably be because I had to retract my comment in order to do something. This would be probably the only reason I would not want to believe I said something. The thing is I say what needs to be said in the fewest possible words generally. Along with this I typically say what I feel, but I evaluate what I am saying unless I am mad. In which case words roll off my tongue like water a dogs tongue. But this is probably typical of any person my age, so therefore I will discount those words as the price of growing up.

        In other news I am again tired. I had to work for the first time last night, I did enjoy it, but work is work. Therefore, I don't even know what to say. I wish I could fill up another two hundred words in the next ten minutes. Possibly, If I am able to pick a topic of which to write about, but I don't have one. Therefore, I shall finish writing for today.

2-5-03 925am
I wish I wasn't tired today. That's what I wish for. Scoff, a petty little wish indeed, but I can wish for anything I want. I really don't have a clue what to talk about today that would be acceptable for this writing. Yes you are probably thinking I am some sort of odd individual now, I'd be inclined to disagree. I just have very little important ideas to put down on paper today.
I did finally get my job and I start today. Excited, I should be, but the money is what I am in it for. Money money money, that's all anyone wants or really cares about. But then again this is America, The Land of Capitalism. I mean why can't we have a society that doesn't rely on money? It's a simple question, but one incredibly hard to answer. Is this unfortunate or just how it is all meant to be?
This question is similar to that of Micheal Moore's about guns in America. He made a documentary called "Bowling for Columbine" that analyzed America's fascination with owning guns and tried to find out why America's death rate with guns was so much higher than any other country. In America the deaths that involved guns numbered over eleven thousand while the total of most of the other First-World countries would have been drastically less. Mind you this is the total.
I'm not saying our capitalistic society is a bad thing, I believe quite the opposite. Without this money fueling numerous research projects our society would not be as advanced as it is today. Which leads me to another point, or question, is our society really that advanced at all?
To me this poses a whole new set of questions which in some ways are related to the previous question about capitalism. Also, it could dip into science fiction a slight bit as some people believe in aliens. And if aliens do exist they are obviously far more advanced than our civilization. Our society can barely send our 'astronauts' to a few thousand miles above our atmosphere, yet these 'alien astronauts' are probably traveling thousands of light years to study our incredibly less advanced society. But then why do they want to study a less advanced society? Because if they (as in their society) have already been past the stage we are currently in, there would be nothing that we could teach them. So why would they travel an enormous distance to study us?
Well this a good point, but maybe they have found wormholes in space, or maybe there is parallel universes that we do not see as humans. Stephen Hawking's book The Universe In a Nutshell addresses these topics quite handily and anyone semi-interested in physics may find this book very interesting.
But, back to my point, if aliens exist I doubt they would travel long distances just to see us humans. This begs my point of parallel universes and wormholes. Maybe they are trying to send us a signal or possibly even trying to corrupt our society so they can take control. I doubt the latter is true, or maybe they are just studying us to provide parallels to their past civilizations. This is exactly what modern day historians do today. The US is often compared to the Roman Empire, minus the grotesque displays of human killing. But there are many similarities from our society to that of the Romans, and as Bush is planning to attack Iraq.
If Bush goes about this attack we look more and more like the Romans in all our actions. And as we know the Romans were a technologically advanced society much as we are. And we also know that the Romans collapsed. This then entered to world into a time of death, disease and local conquer. By this I mean there were no great expansions by any single country and control was generally of a short area about a fortified castle.
Now to relate this to our time. IF, we are attacked or choose to use nuclear weapons in this next war our government may not be able to survive and the inhabitants of the world would live by the dog-eat-dog idea. There would be widespread famine and disease would be rampant. But, somehow someway the world must, I repeat, must adjust the population to keep it at acceptable levels. This means that if we humans don't increase natural selection, nature itself will. Which would be better? Neither of course, but somehow the world has to go back to a state of equilibrium with the amount of humans it contains.

This will go down in my permanent record. WELL! I am sitting here in class surrounded by imbeciles and I am incredibly bored, therefore as any good nerd would do I got on Slashdot. So I am here looking at my friends journal and what do I find? A frickin book report, I mean what the crap! Well I guess atleast the next poor AP Lit student who reads Ralph Emerson's "The Invisible Man" will have a free report. I read the very same book last year. I dare admit it was a good book (hipocritically I read maybe a third of the book), but I mean Emerson can create great visual settings. All for now. (Taking c4tp's lead I will post some of my school work in my journal)