Joke: 1
You: 0

You're running out of places to hide.

Save the Enzos! whoops, Teslas started as Lotuses, right? same principle.

Not a bad idea to keep things like /bin and /sbin and their brethren RO as well.

Is peanuts, nobody's going to care.

There's a difference. Given that the human body sucks at fighting HIV, its not as if she did something and 'relapsed', the virus merely came back out of hiding from wherever it lurks (marrow, lymph, spleen, etc).

It's like how animals don't "evolve", rather then ones who DONT change simply die. No animal DECIDES to suddenly grow fins or stripes.

If anything deserves a spacenuttery tag, this does!

Shall we declare a national holiday? Parades?

With the history of the one child policy and Chinese culture favoring male heirs, there's going to be a lot of Chinese bachelors that can't find wives. That's going to be a lot of horny, frustrated, unemployed men that can't afford homes. Prime fodder to have their frustrations directed outward by a war of expansion where they can be burned off as cannon fodder.
A good investment would be for propaganda promoting the gay agenda in China.
I am only partly joking here.

+1 for Guinea Pig B reference! One of the world's most successful failures.

"economic collapse"?!
I have no idea what you're talking about.
Why, Dubai's economy is so healthy that people just leave their Ferraris sitting on the street when they get bored with them.
Dubai's a fucking economic miracle, the laws of gravity (or karma) do not apply.

Good thing they're going to enclose the important parts under an environmentally controlled dome then. Truly these guys are planning ahead.

That's not the case at all. There is only 1 FTTH adopter in the area - Verizon, and they're never going anywhere. It's not a question of an attractive business model, it's a matter of basic math - they've stretched the fiber as long as it will pay for, and no further. ILECs want out of the copper business altogether, that's why they're rolling (capped) 4G "Broadband" as an alternative.

Cache your DNS.
Queue and deliver your own email - throttled, of course.
Force everything through a squid proxy for a couple of reasons - first, see what your PCs are doing w/o any user interaction, I found it interesting how many google and microsoft websites things randomly hit. Block them all in squid to save bandwidth. Bandwidth throttle in squid, if you do it right you can make it subnet, IP, time-of-day specific, whatever you want. Caching Microsoft stuff can be tricky, there's a lot of articles out there about it, you basically have to bloat out some of the settings in squid, although it's still hit or miss.

You can get a lot of mileage out of a crappy connection simply by throttling the non-interactive stuff, leaving room for things like Netflix or VOIP that tends to be picky about bandwidth.

Except the one in the Alamo.