The Russians are masters of passive aggression when it comes to law enforcement when it suits them: the place is corrupt from top to bottom, and it manifests itself in a complete lack of desire to cooperate in international law enforcement.
No argument there. But this didn't happen in Russia.
Why Python and not C or ERLANG or COBOL?
While the question is interesting, it's off topic. You may as well ask the same question about any development task. Clearly the person asking the question already decided that the advantages of Python outweigh the advantages of C,ERLANG and COBOL. He is now asking whether the advantages of R outweigh the advantages of Python. Which is an entirely different topic.
SQL server is down and the boss is in the elevator coming to fire you is a pretty critical bit of information.
So as to fix it himself? Fear is how you negotiate down your life.
I've noticed several design suggestions in your code.