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It's funny.  Laugh.

Journal Journal: Chihuahua 1

> Two women were out for a Saturday stroll. One had a
> Doberman pinscher and the other had a Chihuahua. As
> they sauntered down the street, the one with the
> Doberman said to her friend, "Let's go over to that
> bar and get something to drink."
> The one with the Chihuahua said, "We can't go in
> there. We've got dogs with us."
> The one with the Doberman said, "Just follow my lead."
> They walked over to the bar and the one with the

> Doberman put on a pair of dark glasses and started to
> walk in. The bouncer at the door said, "Sorry, Lady, no pets allowed."
> The woman with the Doberman said, "You don't
> understand. This is my Seeing-Eye dog."
> The bouncer said, "A Doberman pinscher?"
> The woman said, "Yes, they're using them now. They're
> very good."
> The bouncer said, "OK, come on in."
> The lady with the Chihuahua figured convincing him a
> Chihuahua was a seeing eye dog may be too far fetched,but thought "what
the
> heck", so she put on a pair of dark glasses and started to walk in.
> Once again the bouncer said, "Sorry, lady, no pets
> allowed."
> The one with the Chihuahua said, "You don't
> understand. This is my Seeing-Eye dog."
> The bouncer said, "A Chihuahua?"
> The woman with the Chihuahua said, "A Chihuahua? They
> gave me a freaking Chihuahua???!!"
It's funny.  Laugh.

Journal Journal: Lawyers, Lousiana, and Loans 1

A New Orleans lawyer sought an FHA loan for a client. He was told the loan would be granted if he could prove satisfactory title to a parcel of property being offered as collateral.

The title to the property dated back to 1803, wich took the Lawyer three months to track down.

After sending the information to the FHA, he received the following reply (actual letter):

"Upon review of your letter adjoining your client's loan application, we note that the request is supported by an Abstract of Title. While we compliment the able manner in which you have prepared and presented the application, we must point out that you have only cleared title to the proposed collateral property back to 1803. Before final approval can be accorded, it will be necessary to clear the title back to its origin."

Annoyed, the lawyer responded as follows (actual letter):

"Your letter regarding title in Case No. 189156 has been received. I note that you wish to have title extended further than the 194 years
covered by the present application. I was unaware that any educated person in this country, particularly those working in the property
area, would not know that Louisiana was purchased, by the U.S., from France in 1803, the year of origin identified in our application.

For the edification of uninformed FHA bureaucrats, the title to the land prior to U.S. ownership was obtained from France, which had acquired it by Right of Conquest from Spain. The land came into the possession of Spain by Right of Discovery made in the year 1492 by a sea captain named Christopher Columbus, who had been granted the privilege of seeking a new route to India by the Spanish monarch, Isabella. The good
queen, Isabella, being a pious woman and almost as careful about titles as the FHA, took the precaution of securing the blessing of the Pope
before she sold her jewels to finance Columbus' expedition.

Now the Pope, as I'm sure you may know, is the emissary of Jesus Christ,the Son of God, and God, it is commonly accepted, created this world.

Therefore, I believe it is safe to presume that God also made that part of the world called Louisiana. God, therefore, would be the owner of
origin and His origins date back, to before the beginning of time, the world as we know it AND the FHA.

I hope the hell you find God's original claim to be satisfactory. Now, may we have our damn loan?"

The loan was approved!
Science

Journal Journal: Cool Things about Simple Thermodynamics

The New York Times seems to have quite a few tsk tsking editorials about the deregulation of electric power. Now it seems that the focus is greatest on the carrying capacity of the "big" wires. The sitting governor of New Mexico (also former Congressman, former Hahvahd professor, former Secretary of Energy and former UN ambassador) Bill Richardson, was a quiet proponent of distributed generation while still at the helm of the U.S. Department of Energy. If we would have followed "his" course, then this would not have been as much of a problem, but, alas, Five Supreme Court Justices thought (implicitly) better of the idea a few months later.

Now our friends fear us more, our enemies fear us less, and our power is faltering. Pun intended.

Remember the good old days when Republicans used to run on the platform, "The government should do a few things and do them well."?

Oh well. There is always an excuse, but I (as if a Republican reshaping the world without its consent), digress. (FWIW, I think it is morally justifiable to liberate Iraq, but at the time of this writing, it is also a pain in the butt to get UN support for reconstruction with a cowboy in charge.)

Speaking of oil, ...

I was going to say fun things about Simple Thermodynamics. Stirling engines and Stirling cycle heat pumps are neat, extremely neat. Because they are ideally hermetically sealed (and typically as close to hermetically sealed as is practical), the working parts of them are neat for a very long time. Everything you ever wanted to know about Stirling engines and heat pumps but didn't yet research for yourself is probably more than you can afford the time to study, but much of it is in the public domain, and there is a mountain of expired patents of viable Stirling technology. (Just remember to spell it with an "i" where you want to put an "e"!) Stirling technology (like its concurrently developed reciprocating steam technologies) inherently works nicely with external combustion. For that reason, engineering cleaner combustion or solar concentration is hassle free. Furthermore, the specifications of the fuels are liberal. You name it: solid, liquid, gas, slurry, effervescent mixture or solution. In principle, even nuclear power and other exotic exothermic processes could work. (Disregarding economic considerations, a plain resistor heater could also work with electric power as the input.) Then again, nuclear power generally disregards economy anyway. Funny how it all works. If a bunch of heaping forest residues were lit ablaze in controlled circumstances with a Stirling engine's butt collecting the heat, that could not be feasible politically. However, as the left and right tear each other's eyeballs clean from their sockets, neither side can see that the subsidies flow toward uneconomic nuclear power while we worry about "too much fuel" in the forest floor. Meanwhile, some alien is laughing in outer space as he/she/it looks through a telescope and somehow listens to what we say.

User Journal

Journal Journal: Why MsGeek Got Added with the Green Pill

L.A.: mod 'er up a point
Kinda working class (for now?): mod 'er up a point.
smart-alecky about "shrub": another point
ideologically a neighbor: another point
Tack on about 20 "spiritual" points for being a going-back-to-school-anyway gauntlet runner.

Mod her down one point for taking pre-algebra in college and being a geek at the same time. Nah. Cancel that--linearly, that is. ;-) I just hope formal education in public speaking won't permanently rip the propeller beanie from her head and make her turn up her nose at folks like us. :::::picking nose now as if nobody was looking::::::

User Journal

Journal Journal: Moods and Ideology

In case you're noodling around here, wondering about the thinking of finallyHasANickname, lemme tell you something. I am loathe to look up postings that I felt inspired to type months ago. Why type something? Answer sometimes: because it seemed a logical conclusion that fit the kind of conclusion that seems most viscerally satisfying when typed. That is, it felt right. That is not the same as saying that it was indubitably and permanently correct and of superior legitimacy in judgment. Has anyone answered this way?

Psssst. "Has anyone answered this way?" is a quote from Nietzsche's cutesy epigrams in Beyond Good and Evil. I believe the context was this:

I do not like him. Why? Because I am not his equal. Has anyone answered this way?

Sometimes I think to myself, "Self, when I posted something on slashdot, I really felt more to the left than I generally am." Sometimes I think to myself, "Self, when I posted something on slashdot, I really felt more to the right than I generally am."

Now, given that there is such a confession here, I ask myself this: "Self, why is it that I got modded up for one of the most vaguely regrettable postings?" You know. The one that ends with something like "let the egg drip slowly down your right wing face."

I get sick and tired of people hanging things on Clinton. Well that's not quite true. I think it's fine to hang things on him when factually correct (which is somewhat frequent, come to think of it, but not as bad as a randomly selected historical President). More to the point, my patience is thin for people who ascribe to Clinton (A) the "leftish" ascription along with (B) some social or political phenomenon with no etiological connnection with policies advocated by Clinton or advanced by him in his official capacity. Among those gripes is not the gripe against the Fox News crowd for whining that Clinton implicitly diminished dishonor to liars by spectacularly and exquisitely lying for ignoble purposes. The Fox News crowd irritates me by breathing and associated activities (like making electronically propagated sounds while breathing), but that--that irritation--is typically beside the point. When right wingers claim that Clinton lowered the bar, well, I sorta give up, testosterone-wise. I concede that point. It ain't no fun, but when people say that Clinton set in motion all the stuff that brought about accounting scandals, well...

Let's take a look at that. In point of cold fact, I agree, but not because of any agreement with the generic right wing on matters of the etiology. In those, I hold my center-left position without injury.

Clinton's policies were damned near secret at first. Just as implicitly "promised" in the book, The Work of Nations by Harvard economist (gone Labor Secretary), Robert Reich, the brand new Clinton Administration set in place a speculation disincentive that was most effective in equity stock markets. Selling stocks (and puts and calls I suppose too) soon after purchase exposed the investor/speculator to a newly enstated higher tax burden. That tilted the risk/reward scale, and--behold!--the conservative "buy-and-hold" strategy suddenly became more popular than laissez-faire would have otherwise determined. Thereafter, most of all in the context of 401(k) tax incentives of right-tending legislative history--ascribe them largely to Dubya's dad--not only was "buy-and-hold" becoming popular in the early 1990s; so was "buy and buy again." While the supply of equity stock remained relatively stable, the demand--due to de facto "buying automata" of mechanisms in various and nearly innumerable employee benefits packages for many classes of people--increased. That fed itself more than we might otherwise have noticed.

Why buy? Because the price is increasing!

That mentality was exactly the attitude of the Hollanders during the "investment" bubble of (I think) the 17 Century, when tulip bulbs were the way to retire early. (Wink wink.) When people buy only because of the upward trend in prices, they rely on something inherently unsustainable. It has all the moral disaster and weight of a Ponzi scheme but with no perpetrator at the scene of the crime. The mindset was so thoroughly speculative that I remember reading about a situation where a new stock brokerage client said that she wanted her money only in 20%-and-above investment instruments. According to the article, the broker said, "I think you need to come to Jesus now."

The parallels are interesting, most of all considering the conditions wherein those kinds of statements are made. Often the person hearing that is some flavor of profligate--in some cases, dealing with some addictive substance and in a condition of morally weighty matters. The stereotypical image is suitable. You know: the guy is bawling and swears never to drink again and to live a more honorable life, which is gratifying for the tent-revival evangelist to hear as he helps the guy get born again. Yeah. That kind of thing.

The broker was implictly saying that this 1999ish "20% floor" investment-world-view is not the kind of attitude a responsible adult investor should have.

Ok. So the corporate world looked in the second half of the 1990s at Marc Andreeson and his hired CEO grownup and said, "We at XYZ corporation are almost as kewl as Netscape, and we can be as aggressive and growth oriented." Everyone marketed not the products but the trajectory for growth--the stock itself. The next thing you know, bars of soap were peddled and delivered through UPS and the like as if someone would forsake the grocery store in order to play with and utilize the mouse and the Visa card as if toys. Oh yeah. And every name was appended with "dot com."

Meanwhile, the typical investor was still of higher income than the average, ahem, bear. Therefore, this person had to deal with typical income tax rates that nearly doubled the capital gains tax rates. Therefore, yet another stockprice manipulation scheme became essentially mandatory--buying back publicly held shares in order to increase their value instead of issuing dividends which would be taxed as realtime income.

Since the (practically considered) equity market had its own causes and effects a la tulip-hoarding orgy of the 17th Century Netherlands, companies dealt with stock buyers who had not yet "come to Jesus."

Can you blame Ken Lay and the Arthur Anderson crowd for cooking the books to pretend to keep pace? Well, yes you can, but the rhetorical question of blame-placing still meets the mark because this is about cause and effect at least as much as morality per se.

All of this system of cause and effect occurred in an overall context that was sculpted at the margins "by Dubya's dad" (the 401(k)'s tuning/deployment/etc) and by Clinton's tilting of Wall Street incentives toward less short term speculation and toward more of the buy-and-hold strategy.

Did Clinton's "liberal" policies screw up the economy and bring down Enron? Not on your life. Life is far too complicated for that, and furthermore, I think that linkage between the dishonesty of Arthur Anderson and President Clinton, circa 1998, is just too much of a stretch. The "culture of dishonesty" theory (as hung on Bill Clinton) is a fair accusation, but the societal suffering that results by that legitimate hypothesis should be kicking into gear about now. Now is definitely not the time when Arthur Anderson's hired book cookers were assisting Ken Lay in the biggest accounting scandal in history.

This kind of analysis I more comfortably commit to the permanent record. When I look at some news event and then analyze or offer a hey-wait-a-minute-buddy retort on slashdot, well, that's different, way different. My confidence level is different.

It's funny.  Laugh.

Journal Journal: Jesus was consecrated not constipated!

A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done.

The monsignor replied, "When i am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, i put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If i start to get nervous, I take a sip."

So next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm.

Upon his return to the office after mass, he found the following note on the door:

1.) Sip the Vodka, dont gulp.

2.) There are 10 commandments, not 12.

3.) There are 12 disciples, not 10.

4.) Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.

5.) Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.

6.) We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.

7.) The Father, Son and the Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior, and the Spook.

8.) David slew Goliath, he did not kick the shit out of him.

9.) When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey, dont say he was stoned off his ass.

10.) We do not refer to the cross as the "Big T"

11.) When Jesus broke the bread at the Last Supper he said, "Take this and eat it for it is my body." He did not say "Eat me"

12.) The Virgin Mary is not called "Mary with the Cherry."

13.) The recommended grace for a meal is NOT "Rub-a-dub-dub thanks for the grub, yeah God."

14.) Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St. Peter's, not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's.

It's funny.  Laugh.

Journal Journal: Dumb Men Jokes

~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-

DUMB MEN JOKES

WHY ARE ALL BLONDE JOKES ONE-LINERS?
So men can understand them

WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN GOVERNMENT BONDS AND MEN?
Government bonds mature

WHAT IS A MANS IDEA OF HELPING WITH THE HOUSEWORK?
Lifing his legs so we can vacuum.

WHY IS A PSYCHOANALYSIS A LOT QUICKER FOR MEN THAN FOR WOMEN?
When it is time to go back to their childhood they are already there.

WHAT DID GOD SAY AFTER HE CREATED MAN?
I can do better than this.

HOW DO MEN DEFINE A 50/50 RELATIONSHIP?
They cook/We eat; They clean/We dirty; They iron/We wrinkle.

WHATS THE BEST WAY TO FORCE A MAN TO DO SIT-UPS?
Put the remone control between his toes.

HOW DO MEN EXCERSIZE AT THE BEACH?
By sucking in their stomaches every time they see a bikini.

WHAT DOES A MAN CONSIDER TO BE A SEVEN COURSE MEAL?
A hot dog and a six pack.

HOW ARE MEN LIKE NOODLES?
They are always in hot water, they lack taste and they need dough.

WHY IS IT GOOD THAT THERE ARE NOW FEMALE ASTRONAUTS?
When the crew gets lost in space, at least the female will ask for directions

--hey its only fair guys you crack on us "dumb blondes" all the time ;)

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Announcements

Journal Journal: Common Sense is dead 3

A sad announcement-
Today we mourn the passing of an old friend, Common Sense.

Common Sense lived a long life, but he died inthe United States from heart failure early in the new millennium.

No one really knows how old he was, since his birth records were lost long ago in bureaucratic red tape. He selflessly devoted his life to service in schools, hospitals, homes and factories, helping folks get job dont without fanfare and foolishness.

For decades, petty rules, silly laws, and frivolous lawsuits help no power over Common Sense. He was credited with cultivating such valued lessons as to knmow when to come in and out of the rain, why the early bird gets the word, and that life isnt always fair.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (dont spend more than you earn), parenting strategies (the adults are in charge, not the kids), and its OK to come in second. A veteran of the Industrial Revolution, the Great Depression, and the Technical Revolution, Common Sense survived cultural and educational trends including body piercing, whole language, and "new math", but his heal declined when he became infected with the "if-it-only-helps-one-person-it's-worth-it" virus.

In recent decades, his wning strength proved no match for ravages of well intentioned but over bearing regulations. He watched in pain as good people became self-seeking lawyers. His health rapidly deteriorated when schooled endlessly implemated zero-tolerance policies.

Reports of a 6 yearold charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate, a teen suspended for taking a swig of mouthwash after lunch and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student only worsened his condition. It declined even further when schoolsa had to get parental consent to administer an asprin, but could not inform the parent when a female was pregnant or wanted an abortion.

Common Sense lost his will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband, churches became businesses, criminals recieved better treatment than victims, and federal judges stuck their noses in everything from boy scouts to professional sports.

When an individual, too stupid to realize that a steaming cup of coffe was hot, was awarded a huge settlement, Common Sense threw in the towel. As the end neared, Common Sense drifted in and out of logic, but was kept well informed of developements regarding questionable regualtions such as those for low flush toilets, rocking chairs, step ladders, and auto emissions.

Common Sense finally succumbed when, while the US was fighting a war on terrorism, a federal judged declared the Pledge of Allegiance to be unconstitutional.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by two step siblings: My Rights and Ima Whiner.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.
User Journal

Journal Journal: The Rules

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|              THE RULES
|
| 1.) The Female always makes the rules
| 2.) The rules are subject to change at any time
| without prior notification
| 3.) No Male can possibly know all the Rules.
| 4.) If the Female suspects the Male knows all
| The Rules, she must immediately change some or
| all of The Rules
| 5.) The Female is never wrong
| 6.) If the Female is wrong, it because of a
| flagrant misunderstanding which was a direct
| result of something the male did or said wrong.
| 7.) If Rule #6 applies, the Male must apologize
| immediately for causeing the misunderstanding.
| 8.) The Female can change her mind at any given
| point in time.
| 9.) The male must never change his mind without
| written consent from the Female.
| 10.) The Female has every right to be angry or
| upset at any given time.
| 11.) The Male must remain calm at all times,
| unless the Female wants him to be angry or
| upset.
| 12.) The Female must under no circumstances let
| the male know whether or not if she wants him to
| be angry or upset
| 13.) The Male is expected to mind read at all
| times.
| 14.) The Male who doesnt abide by the rules
| can't take the heat, lacks a backbone, and is a
| wimp
| 15.) ANY attempt to document The Rules by a male
| could result in bodliy harm.
| 16.) If the Female has PMS, all The Rules are
| null and void.
|
|
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User Journal

Journal Journal: OK, no more politics

OK, I have decided to withdraw from political discussions on Slashdot. I feel that I have said what I have to say. I'm not a demagogue, an activist, or a propagandist, I just had some strong opinions that I wanted to share, for the record.

The debates over the war were great. I enjoyed them immensely, and I have the greatest appreciation, love, and respect for all those who participated. Wow, what an experience! However, I doubt I convinced anyone of anything that they don't already believe, and I doubt anybody else did either. That was not the point. Most people don't form their opinions based on ethical philosophy or rational argument. They form their opinions based on their preconditioned beliefs and the circumstances of the situation.

The point, rather, or at least my point, was to Speak Truth to Power. There is no way to convince those in power to change their policies, not by rational argument. They've heard it all before. But you should speak the truth to them anyway, just so that they know that you know, not because it will change anything, but just as a matter of principle.

Do you know what that was? That was the Truth. And do you know what we did? We Spoke it to Power.

But it is done now, so I am withdrawing from political discussions on slashdot. I don't want to try to fight a propaganda war, I don't want to engage in any kind of confrontation. I just felt that there were certain things which had to be said. I said them. I am done now.

Peace out...

User Journal

Journal Journal: Ideological Call to Arms 2

Now that war has begun in Iraq, the flame wars are heating up on slashdot. I just want to take this opportunity to issue an ideological call to arms to all my fellow slashdotters.

Slashdotters of conscience, this is an historic opportunity. Never before has there been such an open and public forum for debate during a time of such importance. Slashdot is arguably the most important forum on the net, and we have the opportunity to make ourselves heard more than ever before in history. Historians 500 years from now (assuming that there are historians 500 years from now) will analyze these discussions (assuming they survive) to find out what the digerati thought of this historic moment.

I call upon all slashdotters of conscience to speak out about your political beliefs, to have the courage to engage in the ideological battle which is currently being fought for the hearts and minds of the people of the world. To arms! Take up your digital flamethrowers and, with strong warrior spirit, clear conscience, and powerful intent, make yourselves heard!

History will record what we say here. I want it to go down in history that, when the shit hit the fan, I stood up on the most important forum on the net and made a strong case for Pacifism in no uncertain terms.

I call upon all of you to stand up for what you believe and make your voices heard. Those with the courage to fight this ideological battle will be remembered as heroes. Flame on!

User Journal

Journal Journal: Rejoining Slashdot, launching TOPP 1

I have recently launched a project I call the Talamanca Open Photography Project (TOPP). Based in the Talamanca region of Costa Rica, this is a project to conserve the rainforests through nature photography. The idea is to demonstrate that it is possible to make money off of the jungle without destroying it by using information technology. This will apply pressure to the local economy in the direction of rainforest conservation. I want to see bands of drunken poachers tromping through the jungle with lighting equipment and digital cameras instead of dogs and guns the way they do now!

I've decided to try distributing medium resolution photos under some sort of open licence. This seems commensurate with the general spirit of freedom and openness of the project. So, as a result of this, I've decided to rejoin /. after a long hiatus, to try to enlist the interest, support, and input of the /. community. I used to hang out on /. a few years ago, until I found that it was taking up way too much of my time. But now I think I have something to say that might be of interest to the /. readership, so I decided to rejoin. Hasn't changed much, although this friendship thing is new and may not be such a good idea. Seems like an incitement to flame feuding to me.

So anyway, please take a moment to check out the TOPP, I think you'll find the idea interesting and I could sure use any input you have. In particular, I'm interested in people's ideas about the open licencing of images and business models related thereunto.

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