The plant fell over again. Spilled soil all over my new alarm clock/calculator (dork!). I will avoid reading a deeper meaning into this.

My friend Melissa's stand-by plans were thwarted, so she's not flying in until tomorrow afternoon. I met her in high school nerdy camp. We were both nerdy high schoolers. Now she's a lawyer.

i'll fake it through the day
with some help from johnny walker red
send the poison rain down the drain
to put bad thoughts in my head
[on repeat: miss misery]

To maintain an air of geeky legitimacy, I will report that the new system board seems to have done the job and the original battery is now 100% but the ghetto "not OEM" battery that I just received in the mail yesterday only gained 3% of charge overnight.

Schmooly (Murphee K, all the way!) wrote, "I got a returned email from Andrew. Do you know what happened to his most recent email address?" and I answer "No, I do not know what happens to people who fall off the face of the Earth." That used to be one of my biggest fears, losing touch with people with whom there are no or not many mutual friends. I almost think it's amazing when I run into people after 10 years and they're still alive. It's a crazy world, ya know, anything can happen. Anyway, disappearing friends is not one of my biggest fears anymore, because it's happened so many times that it's just annoying reality. And there's a reason for everything, even if the reason is apathy. In fact, I expect to lose touch now, so when it happens I can pat myself on the back and say, Good Job.

Schmooly also asks, "Is The People's History of the United States the book from Good Will Hunting?" and I answer, "My memory is not that good." All I remember is going across the river to watch it, and techies going crazy when MIT was mentioned. I read a bit more of it last night (in an attempt to quell boredom) and now hate a whole new bunch of oppressors.

I think I'm the only person I know who could have technical difficulties while trying to leave a message on someone else's v-mail. (Headset became unplugged during message-leaving.) So sad.

I wonder what is the correlation between alcoholism and genius. ...and then that of alcoholism and idiocy.

I have this nagging feeling that people who follow the rules don't get anywhere.

Loopy called to listen to the message but I picked up the phone and he said "You weren't supposed to pick up!"

The NCR guy came and raped my laptop today. Opened it up, switched out the system board. I kept on asking - what's that? (CPU) what's that? (memory) what's that? (hard drive) and he was patient about it. Also, it was funny because he knows my advisor (and advisor's laptop) because my advisor makes very frequent calls to Dell support. Now I'm not sure if I know my laptop anymore, everything is essentially the same but I'm a little wary, it looks the same, but the insides are different, is it really my beloved computer? (I have yet to give it a pet name. hmm I must not really love it.)

I'm more or less to first draft stage for the proposals, but at this point all proposals seem the same to me. Fake importance, fake intellectualism. "is essential" "to elucidate" "better understand" blah blah blah my ass.

I'm a little bit bored. Maybe more than a little bit. Actually, I've now reached the point where I'd like to scream I'M BORED!!!!!!!!!!!

BTW, as someone who hung around planetary scientists a lot at U of A, I think Bush's Moon and Mars plan is a whole load of crap. They never spoke of permanent bases on the Moon and spoke of going to Mars maybe in our lifetimes. It's gonna take many bazillion dollars and lots of time. I have such little faith. Planetary scientists are pretty cool, not as cool as geologists though. I know almost nothing about politics (except never trust politicians) but Bush's recent and seemingly contradictory plans that play to (1) people who fear illegal immigrants, (2) illegal immigrants who work in the U.S., and (3) rocket scientists, are very annoying to me.

One of the things I appreciated most about Lost in Translation was the portrayal of failed phone conversations. Or just failed attempts at communication. Or just sitting there with a bunch of people and not feeling connected at all. I liked that.

The Dell Online Technical Support guy insists on calling me MR. even though I subtly but pointedly signed MS. Guess it was too subtle. When he "apologizes for the persistent trouble" I am facing, I don't believe him. Looks like I am getting a new battery chargerboard. So, I am not complaining about the technical support, just the lack of recognizing the difference between Mr. and Ms.

I've received some negative feedback on my highly efficient "Hi, this is me" voicemail message. It is perceived as too short, boring, and "self-important". You know, I think that set of descriptors is perfect, both for me and the message. Maybe I should just change it to "Hello."

The Word of the Day for January 11 is:
verbiage \VER-bee-ij\ noun
*1 : a profusion of words usually of little or obscure content
2 : manner of expressing oneself in words : diction

Received new amazon.com shipment courtesy brother's Xmas gift certificate, which he got me on Dec. 24 because he hadn't gotten me anything else yet. By page 5 of A People's History of the United States, I was already fed up and disgusted with the United States. I was also fed up and disgusted by the textbooks I had in middle and high school that were SO BORING in comparison - why didn't we have this book? atao had recommended this book and I flipped through it in a bookstore when I was at home. So I got it online. And I think it's a swell book. The only problem is, how do I believe what this guy has to say, and how the "first-hand" sources were translated and interpreted? I'm sure someone took some liberties translating it into current English. Can't trust anyone.

Another book in the shipment was The Dream of the Red Chamber (abridged and translated into English of course), a Chinese "classic". The best part is that in the first few pages, there's a rock that talks: Though I am crude in substance, I am not without some degree of understanding or a sense of gratitude.

I'm continuing with McPhee, it's not just gathering dust. When he goes through the periods in Earth History it reminds me of the Bible.

I need to write two proposals by Feb. 1 (Geological Society of America and Taiwanese-American Foundation). I need $$. I thought the whole idea of hiding in academia was to forget about $$ but I was wrong.

Under the tutelage of G2, (and despite lack of flava) Bane and I learned a hip-hop routine yesterday. I believe Bane's words were "a ridiculous spectacle". However, next time you see Bane, count out "5,6,7,8!" and she'll bust a move for you. I'm still not sure if I'll make this a weekly thing, because I know Bane ain't. It's been so long since I've been in an organized class like that. It's hard to believe that 12 years ago I used to spend 4 days a week in dance (not hip hop) class. I think it's nice to try to use my brain like that once in awhile as opposed to trying to learn impossible equations or whatever. The class requires leaving pride at the door and just having fun. I couldn't even look at myself in the mirror or else I would bust out laughing not to mention get all confused with the steps. It was a fun-(ny) time.

A story I've been wanting to tell for awhile - my advisor's advisor was in Africa and his little propeller plane was going down, his grad student was in the back trying to hold spare fuel cans back. His thoughts as the plane was going down were something of anger, like, "Dammit, I spent all of those hours and hours trying to learn those differential equations! I can't die now!" What a crazy thing to have go through his mind as he faced possible death. I wonder what would go through my mind.

Today atao and I unloaded some old clothes to the used clothes places. atao is my official jeans supplier, thanks to her I have two new pairs. (give me two pair... I need two pair. Oh, I already used that joke.)

I love the m-w.o.t.d folks.

The Word of the Day for January 8 is:
taciturn \TASS-uh-tern\ adjective
: temperamentally disinclined to talk

I've learned to bite my tongue but I'm sure it works against me sometimes.

22985 pts/13 243:47 snaphu

This one's for Bane.
The Word of the Day for January 7 is:
acerbate \ASS-er-bayt\ verb
: irritate, exasperate

Apparently Loopy has emerged out of the wilderness after over a month, because he sent me a very confused email from a non-school account saying that he had forgotten his school-account password. But little does he know that our sysadmin had changed all of the passwords a month ago due to a hack! Hahaha! Poor, clueless, Loopy. But I'm jealous because I think now he's going to see the Southern Alps in New Zealand. (Random Southern Alps Geo Porn)

If you only knew how many months and how many gigabytes it took for me to produce this image...
Phase

No, there will be no explanation, you may use your imagination.

Three things to note today. In order of occurrence:

Josh dropped by a flyer for a class he's organizing about Radical Economic Theories (Participatory Economics and Eco-Socialism). Frankly, revolutions scare me. I know they work once in awhile, but personally I don't think I could make a difference in one of them. I think we are stuck with living under a structure with evil motives and greedy people at the top screwing everyone else. I think I will tell that to Josh.

After lunch I returned to the office under-motivated. Luckily, I was provided an escape by a Rotton (sic) phone message informing me of Rotton's presence at SFO for a few hours. I went and got bitch-slapped with a 10-pack of Parliaments.

I got back and checked mail and there was another letter from Antarctica from loopy. I think I miscalculated and left him mail-less for many weeks toward the end of his stay. I think he's coming back in about two weeks. He's helping to take 2000 isotope samples from the ice. On his knees hacking at ice in Antarctica. Light outside at 2:00am. Camped on a frozen lake. Geologists are cool dammit!

I told the bane of my existence about a hip hop class and she said, "What?! You have no flava!" Then later, the bane of my existence told me that I spent 10 hours of last weekend reading a book that was featured on Oprah and therefore was dumbass. Well, I don't freaking watch Oprah so how the hell was I supposed to know?! Dumbass! Afterwards, the bane of my existence corrected my spelling of the word bane. It just gets more and more baneful. Hah!

Four days into the new year.
Resolutions broken = 3,
Resolutions never made, but kept anyway = 1,
Resolutions never made, but broken anyway = 1.

Broken:
Resolution 1. Learn one new Chinese character every day.
Broken: January 2

Resolution 2. Learn one fact for orals every day.
Broken: Jan 3, when I tried to learn something but didn't really understand it.

Resolution 3. Find out about fitness classes at the RSF
Broken: Have not called friend to find out schedule, probably never will.

Never made, but kept:
1. Swim
Kept: Have swum three days in a row since pool reopened on the 2nd. But getting bored of it.

Never made, but broken:
1. Don't read any other books until have finished McPhee's Annals of a Former World.
Broken: Spent about 10 hours this weekend reading Po Bronson's latest book cover to cover. Just checked Pathfinder to see that another of his books is available in the Main library. Will get it tomorrow.

Guilt assessment: Minor.

Yesterday I went with Demola to return some DVDs before dinner and snatched up Bowling for Columbine before he dropped them in the slot. We had Thai for dinner and cleared up that it's not "Eat your cake and have it too" as he thought, but the reverse. Afterwards I went home and popped the DVD into my quickly dying Dell laptop. My advice is NOT to ever buy from Dell, after 1 year and 4 months, the battery and AC power adapter are crapping out. My IBM Thinkpad lasted from '96 to '02 without any problems before the power adapter crapped out. One could argue that I drag the Dell back and forth a lot more, but I don't care, I'm going with IBM next time.

Anyhow, the movie left me feeling very crappy (WOTD is crap). I think that I ignore the "silent majority" when I think about the U.S. and I think I'd like to continue to do so. I grew up in a strange state that doesn't sell alcohol in grocery stores, doesn't sell fireworks, doesn't give tatoos, doesn't allow concealed weapons, and doesn't sell bullets in KMart (as far as I know...I've never looked).

I went to the post office again today but left without completing my mission. Even after walking a few blocks to drop off the DVD before returning to the post office, there were still 20 numbers ahead of my ticket. The plight of the impatient - Will never mail holiday gifts.

Had ramen last night at 2am and this morning at 9am. Also had some miso soup. Sodium level must be dangerously high.

It's time to start chain-drinking caffeinated tea while sitting in the glow of a full-spectrum lightbulb. If only I had a full-spectrum lightbulb. Hurry up, summer.

Note: the plant is still alive.

Heavy on the Flash, but flashy: (Need Macromedia, a fast connection, and adjust volume accordingly.)

Infernal Affairs I

Infernal Affairs II

Infernal Affairs III

December photos

Now I remember why I fell asleep at 8:30pm last New Year's Eve. It was not only lameness but also jetlag.

Yesterday I arrived back via Oakland Airport but unfortunately my checked luggage decided to stay in Atlanta. Not a bad place to be, I suppose. It came back today. The luggage fiasco must've been to even out being bumped up to first class (overbooked flight) during the first leg.

OAK is always fun, especially late at night. Out of the 4 baggage carousels, only 2.5 were working. Our flight's luggage came out on the 0.5 operational carousel, it got clogged every once in awhile and the workers had to come out and manually throw down the luggage. Bummer for them! I felt bad for them. Some of the other passengers were a bit impatient, and expressed discontent at having to walk 50 ft. to pick up their bag. Well, at least their bag came! And at least they didn't have to throw down fifty bags. sigh. Two other people couldn't find their bags. One was chill but the other had to be at work in 6 hours and her uniform and hospital badge were in her luggage. Too bad.

I feel like this is turning out to be like Jim's Pretty Good Journal, which I own, thanks to my bro. From this review:

Here's the concept: We're reading the daily diary of a young man named Jim, whose life is pretty much unbroken by significant events. Dikkers' bold-lined drawings are exactly as detailed as they need to be -- which is to say, not very. So what's there? A little fuzz-haired guy with stick legs and no mouth who goes to college; works at McDonald's, a copy shop, a grocery and a bookstore; and has a roommate (the hyper Tony), a pal (Steve, whose jokes in a deliberately jokeless strip are necessarily lame), a girlfriend or something (Ruth, twice Jim's size, perpetual smiley face) and a cat (Mr. Peterson, who comes closest to being Jim's soul mate). All the while, he narrates with remarks so dry they float off afterward like tumbleweeds: "When it was over we turned off the TV, sat around and didn't say much of anything."

Actually, his life sounds pretty exciting.

Happy New Year.

Resolution: Don't spend an hour a day writing one lame paragraph for the e-journal.

All of this eating and watching DVDs is really tiring. Because that's the extent of what I've done for the past week and a half. Unless you want to throw in shopping. And going to the gym once. And some reading.

About the eating, there's a new shopping complex in Quincy, MA, called the Kam Man Market. My dad says a lot of his Chinese students prefer the (buffet) restaurant there over Boston's Chinatown. It's almost like the East Pacific Mall in El Cerrito. The day has come, boba made its way to Quincy. At one of the little knick-knack stores, my brother pointed out the Snoopy display, just like the one in Fulltime Killer (my favorite HK film).

We also went to the Mattapoisett Inn for Sunday brunch, which is about the opposite of a Kam Man shopping complex. It's been really sunny and mild here, after brunch we walked over to the dock, you can see Martha's Vineyard. It's very southeastern Massachusetts.

About the DVDs, I can recommend The Longest Night (although the literal tranlation is more like Dark Flower.) hkflix.com says "The Longest Nite probably tops all Hong Kong films in presenting triad warfare intrigue. A clever interlocking plot complete with tense and heart-stopping atmospherics." Atmospherics? I do not recommend Purple Storm. movies.yahoo says "Genre: Action, Eye Candy, Hong Kong, Thriller". I thought Finding Nemo was only OK.

I'm itching to get back. Something has changed. I was once able to be somewhat productive back here, but no longer. I hate this feeling of "I should have done [insert random task] by now." I am going to start freaking out about qualifying exams soon. Southeastern MA feels less and less like home and that scares me because I've become a coffee snob and an internet snob and one of these days I fear that I'll stop making fun of Them. They are not very common in southeastern MA but they are crawling everywhere in the big cities and I feel like when I stop being so disapproving of them I will have lost it.

Anyways.

I visited Nancy D. in Pawtucket.
[after failed attempt to hold door open for a woman at a restaurant]
Nancy: Homegirl just dissed me!
me: Was homegirl 60 years old?
Nancy: yes!

Stuff from the book (Strawberry Statement):

At 5:30 the goddamn birds started waking up with their familiar cry of "Another-day-gone-and-you-haven't-done-shit caw, caw, caw, jweep."

We youths say "like" all the time because we mistrust reality. It takes a certain commitment to say something is. Inserting "like" give you a bit more running room.

I look up in my head and there's this great emptiness, a void; there's nothing there. I don't know anything.

He said if we are to make mistakes, let our mistakes be on the side of trust, and not mistrust. I figure you'll make more mistakes that way but you'll have a better time doing it and you might get somewhere, perhaps forward.

I had gotten into a situation regarding the physical defense of my honor, which is another way of saying my pride, which is another way of saying my ego.

"This new generation thinks they should get something for nothing." She mentioned for example a young man who hangs around our building, living off his mother. "I would support him," she said, "I'd support him with a stick on the head."