You can't even start on iOS coding until you turn 18.

One stupidity is global variables by default unless you use var every single time. Another is the lack of integers bigger than 52 bits, after which double precision floating point starts dropping integral bits. If your data is full of 64-bit integers, tough.

Then explain the "KERNAL" of the Commodore 64.

Yes we do, as seen in Sony v. Hotz.

The problem comes when computing platforms have policies against programming at an amateur level. Platforms like iOS require purchase and renewal of a certificate before you can even run software you wrote on a machine you own. Video game consoles are even worse; even professionals new to the field may have trouble getting a devkit.

Except hiring managers trend to use the former as a proxy for the latter. They want to call previous employers to verify that a candidate's code works and makes sense.

I can communicate technical thoughts effectively, just not necessarily the "softer" thoughts that will get me past corporate HR.

I think part of the problem is that lockout policies enforced by code signing, as used by Apple on iOS and by Sony, Microsoft, and Nintendo on their respective consoles, are designed specifically to prevent this sort of "casual programming".

The word "Jews" is roughly as offensive as "Muslims" or "Christians" or "black people", that is, not offensive by itself. Example: "A few of my co-workers are Jews, and they've introduced me to interesting cuisine." It becomes offensive once you start blaming Jews, Christians, black people, or any other ethnic or religious group for some ill of society without clear and convincing evidence behind your claims. Some people might reply to your posts to try to refute what arguments you do present, as sincere extremism is hard to distinguish from satire.

"Niggers", on the other hand, specifically invokes attitudes dating from the era of American slavery. Like "kikes", the word already has its mind made up. People don't reply because they know from your use of "niggers" that you're trolling. So unless you're referring to a newsgroup for discussing Number, Integration, Group, Graph, Enumeration, Ring and Set theory, stay the hell away from the word "niggers".

So anyway, what are female "watch dogs" called? Is "watch bitches" too offensive?

For one thing, if you have a quality PlayStation to USB adapter, you don't really need NES or Super NES controllers because PlayStation 1 digital controllers work well for those platforms. For another, you can hang sets of devices on hubs and plug in your "camera rigs" hub, your "flight simulator joystick" hub, your "console controllers" hub, etc. when you need them. Keeping unused devices physically disconnected eliminates the CPU overhead and electric power consumption associated with polling them.

But the real problem is convincing major publishers to port couch-coop games to PC in the first place.

One problem is that a lot of major-studio games designed around multiple controllers are released on one or more consoles and never make it to the PC until emulators catch up a decade or more later. This is more common in some genres than others. And a lot of games that do make it to PC have their split-screen mode cut out. The best guess I've seen as to the reason relates to what you suggest next:

I'm under the impression that the number of end users are willing to do this is commercially insignificant compared to online PC gamers. Please see comments like those I linked here. It's a vicious cycle: people don't buy a gaming HTPC because of too few games supporting couch co-op, and major publishers don't fund the development of PC games supporting couch co-op because of too few deployed gaming HTPCs. Or how has the tradition of users being unwilling to set up a PC in the living room changed over the past few years?

USB game controllers are either HID joysticks or XInput controllers. Unlike XInput controllers, HID joysticks have an inconsistent button layout across brands. Plugging in a console controller and having its buttons already configured is more convenient for users than having to rebind buttons every time you plug in or plug out a HID joystick.

That's true so long as the publisher bothers to allocate money toward a split-screen mode. But I don't see how a PC can support a same-screen multiplayer game that isn't ported to PC (and isn't old enough to be emulated well), or a game whose PC version has had split-screen cut out. Or have those too become less common over the past few years?

Was there a serious problem with the console port of Spelunky or Cave Story or La-Mulana?

Of course you can port down if the game is designed for such. An indie studio's debut game is often released as a PC exclusive, even if it's controller-friendly, because console makers prefer experienced companies. Once sales pick up, a game might gain interest from a licensed publisher, and then the console port is based on the game's controller support.

Wine is not an emulator; it is a PE executable loader and an independent reimplementation of the Win32 API. This means Wine is a "Windows emulator" to the extent that Fedora is a "UNIX emulator". Or do games using the "Games for Windows Live" library have particular problems with third-party Win32 reimplementations the way games using PunkBuster do? Or to which "emulator" were you referring?

With the Retrode discontinued, what do you use to make ROM images of your NES, Super NES, and Mega Drive cartridges for use with your emulators?

And this choice has to be made on the basis of available games. A lot of especially indie games are PC-first or PC-only.

True in the sense that Macs are general-purpose computing devices where the person who owns it controls what computing it does. True in the sense that games work once you buy, install, and reboot into a copy of Windows. But false in the sense that they are compatible out of the box with "PC games" that have deliberate anti-Wine measures.