So if there is a signal and they've made it available to everyone on Earth, how much does that work out to in damages?

I may be being simplistic, but isn't most of the hardware required in phones and MP3 player these days? If you could have a bluetooth earpiece connected to a pocketsized device that does the processing for you most of the miniaturization issues are solved. It may be a step back from an all-in-one device, but most people have pockets full of gadgets these days anyway. So imagine a lapel mike, an iPod nano sized processor and a wireless earpiece - now it's a software problem. (Any programmers on Slashdot these days?)

Even if the software needed a professional set-up to calibrate for the individual surely this would drive the price down.

And think of the PR - all those people claiming MP3 players make you deaf - what if you made one that helped the deaf to hear?

Please, no jokes about the iEar or Google Cyborg.

... but they'll win on a-peel ...

That was Adams' real gift - it was his uniqueness being more unique that anyone else's. Anyone can be unique, but being more uniquely unique than anyone else needs a special talent.
If only everyone could be as unique as him. I think we should try to mimic this uniqueness, maybe teach it in large classrooms where everyone can learn by rote exactly what made it unique and reproduce it in a precisely quantified manner.

... and so on ...

I liked the line in Wikipedia: This plug, commonly known as a "13-amp plug", is a large plug that has three rectangular prongs forming a triangle
Any ideas what other shapes three pins can form?

I'm waiting for Mo2n

Look, all we need to do to clear it up is get hold of the store's security camera footage ...

And they have all these burglaries and think that police time is better spent chasing Google cars ...