Comment Re:Instilling values more important (Score 5, Insightful) 698
Adding to this no matter what you do suffering the loss of her father at such at an immediately per-adolecent age like this is going to be a hurt she will probably always carry. Keep in mind she is old enough to have a pretty good although not complete idea of who you are, you are I am sure important to her if she shows it or not, and she is going to recall both her own pain at your loss and the pain of your wife etc.
That isn't a hurt she might want to work thru in the midst of other big life events. She might be really having fun with her friends on graduation day and not feel like opening that wound, and if she does not sit down and watch the video of day feel guilty at betraying your memory. Other events in her life might simply not take the shape you imagine, suppose you make a video for advice on marriage but she chooses not to or worse feel pressured to marry because she thought you expected it of her?
I think leaving videos behind is a wonderful idea but if it were me rather than making event specific videos I'd make age specific videos, titled like "For Winter Sometime your 25th Year" you can talk about some of things you were going through at that age, ideas about the world you recall having, how you felt about things etc. I am sure she will find your thoughts very interesting. There is still plenty of time to give adive an things as well, like "Spring of you 15th year".
This way she can pick a time when its emotionally convenient to visit with the memory of dad and you can still say what you want to say to here around given stages of her life.