While I agree with your sentiment your poor grasp of the facts harms the argument you are making by making you appear to be an ignorant fool.
Debian has not "Handled updated and major upgrades flawlessly for decades," Debian has only handled this for *years*. Debian has not yet reached its 20th anniversary, and apt did not exist at its founding (much less in a flawless form).
You cannot have a host that started on potato in the mid 1990s because potato was released in 2000. The only "Mid '90s" Debian releases were Buzz and Rexx. I don't consider the release of Bo in 1997 to be "mid" enough, I count it as "late" 90s.
Nevertheless, I have personally experienced what you experience: A system installed as potato that is still running today using the current stable. Debian's package system, package manager, policy and culture contribute to a high quality system where updates work smoothly and do not require reboots.