So yeah, there's a whole set of skills to learn, but the idea that everything is all on the guy... is at least not true in many contexts. And women can fail just as hard, though there isn't a subculture about how men are colluding to control them by withholding the cock they have so obvious earned. There are a lot of skills for everyone to learn. No one is born knowing this stuff. And it takes work.** And while some people are more socially inclined, it's perfectly learnable with work. And I suspect if you (I mean the generic you) aren't actively putting yourself in a social situation in which you'll be interacting with folks you're sexually attracted to, you will never learn these skills.
The entitled whining just drives me up a tree. For that matter, the idea that if some random guy asks a random woman out, and she says no - oh, no, the trauma! Yeesh. I mean, first off, that's a pretty stupid set up. And yet, most of us have been through some variant of it.
* Especially when it was from relatively strangers who were clearly not part of my subculture. Major culture shock of moving to the midwest, random guys in suits would ask me out on the train. Or in the airport. While I was practicing martial arts forms in an empty terminal. *blink*
** Do not draw the conclusion from any of this that I was born socially adept, oh, no. I mean, I generally had more male friends because a lot of my interests (computers, electronics, RPGs) skewed that way, but, no. And then I went to college when I was 13 (well, the first time, it's complicated). But, y'know, hard work and paying attention - these things can be learned.
You are absolutely right, these are skills that can be learned. And rather than whine and complain that "women don't like nice guys", they need to get a clue that being nice isn't the problem. And it is rather interesting that a culture of men who will spend days and weeks mastering gaming or some computer related skill, won't spend time on such a key element to happiness.
However, I will still maintain that a shy, geeky guy is at a major disadvantage when it comes to dating. How many geeky males (shy or not) have random women approaching them in airport and train terminals? ;-)
Thing about it, you and a friend could go trolling for geeky guys with a reasonable expectation of success. It doesn't work that way for geeky guys.
That's not to say there aren't women who struggle with dating. I think a big difference is that these women will more than likely blame themselves rather than blaming all men.
