Hello loafers, coach potatos and all-night IRCers. I am Keitarou (Japanese for a sexy geek, I think), and I came to bring sex to Slashdot.

That's true. Nobody's here talking about real sex. It won't be hard finding people talking about gay porn, but nobody's talking about real, straight sex. You know, that kind that involves a penis, a vagina, fingers, mouthes and a lot of sweat.

That's what I'm for. I appoint myself to be the Sex God of Slashdot. I will help you, guys, to get laid. I will take your breath away.

So come on, make me a friend of you, and I'll show you the light.

You know what happens when you hit the groove and people stop giving any damn about you. Well, when that happens, you just go down the brochure and live to get past it, but when the days come, people won't share their data anymore.

For example, look at the calculator service. How many times you thought "doorway, my reply"? Share with me and behold.

Did you know that dogs have milk?
Red rocket! Red rocket!

A girl I know called me today and left me voicemail: "Call me as soon as you get this message".

Great. I called her.

"My mom is dead. The funeral is at 13:30. Will you come?"
"Ofcourse I will! You know how I love funerals."
*click*

I pressed on "redial".
"Did I offend you or something? I do that to girls sometimes. I'm sorry"
"That was really dumb, you know. Anyway, I guess I'll see you today."
"Hmm.. okay. Listen, I know how you're hurt and stuff, so I know what can cheer you up - let's have sex after the funeral!"
*click*

Geeze. What's her problem?