Did you see this hot little number? I had my way with that for three hours in Reza's hospital room. Reza didn't like it, but who gives a fuck. She's a bed-ridden fatty exhausted from birth, there's not a flying fuck she could have done about it anyhow. As you can see, her eyes are the size of dinner plates as I brought my pants' fly down, exposing my man-meat to her. Seconds later, she dropped her retarded nephew on his head and was on my pole like a Jewish American Princess on an American Express Platinum Card. She moaned with delight as I inserted my spit-lubed cock into her willing young anus. Little Martin Anton "Booster" Lockwood lay on the cold hospital tile for the entire time, gurgling with a concussion no doubt.

Your Loyal Reader
~wsl3 (pseudonym used to protect the innocent)

Vladinator, Cock Cockwood, WSL3, whatever you call youself these days, I am not associated with this so-called Anti-Vlad Triad you seem obsessed with. I can tell you, however, with one-hundred percent accuracy: you're an irritating fuck, and that's why I berate you with my masterful authoring skills which exceed yours by several hundred orders of magnitude. I was ever so glad when you announced your intention to submit to the cease-fire conditions and decided to go about business. Then I saw your stupid slimy fuck Scott Lockwood account post to slashdot, and that tore it. You sack of shit! You're a liar and a breaker of contracts, and now Trolltalk is visibly one-million times more retarded than before your arm-waving thanks mostly to your own efforts, which consist mainly of modifying pop-lyrics to suit a rather unoriginal mudslinging campaign for your own sake. It is rather clear that you broke the ceasefire conditions with the Scott Lockwood account, as evidenced by a subsequent AC reply which reads "Welcome to World War Three, asshole". While it is apparent that should you cease your feeble keyboard slappings, your 'agressors' would cease, I fear that you will only repeat the cycle at a later date. So, really, this is of your own doing. You're clearly not intelligent enough to understand this and therefore blame others.

Here are instructions of which you'll follow: QUIT IT, IRRITIATING SHITHEAD. Fade into obscurity like a real person, you were never interesting and never sucessfully trolled. Quite the opposite, really. You'll never be a troll, you totally lack the capacity. You're an idiot just like the the other mongoloids spawned during spork era.

Hi there silly buns! My name is Scott Lockwood, but my friend Teddy calls me Vladinator, and sometimes "Rubberneck." I'm skilled in the arts of reach-around, felching, hot lunch and sodomy! I also run a site that used to be dedicated to weakass trolling, but now it's a breeding ground for three-bit hacks and talentless writers!

I have a wife named Reza, but that's merely a façade marriage to divert attention from my true lifestyle, although I often enjoy burying my face in dimpled thigh fat and inhaling her rich yeast scent. I also love to purse my lips.

I suppose my downward spiral of perversion can be easily traced, right back to the ripe age of six! Father McCallihan (Catholicism is the easiest institution to scope homoerotic sexual activity, bar none) at St. Andrew's Cathedral lured me into his priest chambers with the promise of sweets. I got something much better. He penetrated my young asshole with the foot-end of a lubed crucifix that day, and I continued to willingly return for more fun every subsequent Sunday.

What came next in my life is what I consider to be the next important step in my life.

Father McCallihan urged me to join the U.S. Navy. I was reluctant at first, but after Father McCallihan explained to me a new acquisition of young meat, thoughts of sweaty tight-ended sailors got me hard. I had to join. I spent eight WONDERFUL years circle jerking and showering nude with young men. My best memories are from shore leave in the Philippines, where a glass bottle of Coca Cola buys you a rimjob from a local 13 year old boy. I will cherish those days, because sadly I was courtmartialed after being caught ankle deep in Ensign Henderson's rectum with Deck-Ape Richards in my ass on the Rear Admiral's desk! Ooopssssss!

Every time I'm cited as an irritating prick by my online friends, I curl up into a fetal position and sob for two hours in my stained bathtub. I feel better about myself after Reza empties her bowels on me while I sob.

But life goes on. I am somewhat happier now that I've met Teddy through the classified ads, and my weekend flings with Emad El- Haraty, a hardcore rimmer. mmmmmmmm.

Toodles!

Scott Lockwood seems to have shortchanged himself in almost every critical life decision. Let's examine the facts, hmm?

The High School Dropout
Too busy masturbating and doing things of higher priority, Lockwood cannot be bothered with this basic certificate, which is pretty much a requisite for any grunt job. Lockwood, instead of taking advantage of the government-funded schooling system and free tutoring, finds basic arithmetic and algebra "hard". We later find that Lockwood is incapable of basic logical thought during his brief laughable attempts at learning the ANSI C programming language.

The Enlisted Navy Man
What better organizaton to surrender your humanity to? The homosexual disco group The Village People became famous by singing about the glories of showering nude with other men and staying on vessels for months at a time with them. He spent eight years in the service, protecting precisely nothing, and was paid relatively handsomely for it. Yet, we see in the future that he manages to squander any potential wealth he may have acquired.

Divorcer, Threefold, ???, Profit!!!
Ah, the glories of the modern age. It's said that a full sixty percent of modern marriages do not last, and that success is usually obtained in a second marriage. Lockwood, clearly a rebel, bucks that trend with four marriages and three divorces! Alimony, alimony, alimony. An obvious progressive, he even fathers two children with his first wife and deadbeats the poor little bastards. The children themselves have restraining orders against this child molester. Let us not forget that he's a habitual alcoholic.

Bye Bye Navy Pay, Hello Shitty IT Cash
When you're dishonorably discharged for trying to anally rape your superior officers in the Navy, one must seek employment elsewhere to pay your familial woes. Luckily for Lockwood, the dot-com bubble was inflating like so much mucous in his nasal cavities. However, as a low-level IT tech, he gets fired on several occasions for looking at pornography and conversing through text messaging on company time. Couple that with the fact that he can do nary basic math, you can see why nobody would want to keep him on the payroll. In the midst of this employment strife, we also find that Lockwood has an almost habit-like tendency to host tens of slash and scoop sites on his own dollar, while at the same time having to supply wheelbarrows upon wheelbarrows of foodstuffs to his gigantic fourth wife. So much a habit, this weblog addiction, Lockwood is forced to re-locate his residence and even necessarily parts with a cat (remember, it stares at your genitals, dur hurrrr)! Lockwood can accurately be described as a self-debting money pit.

Irritating and Inane Internet Idiot!
Lockwood, a nuisance from the start, takes pride in his irritating presence on the interent, and even boasts of his fidonet days. Lockwood is also an expert troll, as evidenced by these posts. Truly an intelligent and witty troll.